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Scribe Report by B.B.
NEVER LET THE TRUTH GET IN WAY OF A GOOD STORY
I know nothing about the run except that I saw 2 people arrive back after being out for about 90 minutes, either they were unfit, got lost or where having sex in the bush, who knows?????
I do know that about 10 of us took off on a Beer Hash Run, and we encountered, 2 hills, lots of water and shiggy, and we achieved this all in 600 meters, there, with a 600 meters return leg. That’s a 1.2 km run, and I am sure that is LOOOOOOONG enough for some people. The front of the pack going out was lead by none other than REALLY SADISTIC BARSTARD, and on the return leg I actually saw KIDNEY WIPER break into a trot, not sure if it was because he wanted a beer or a pee.
Great food was served up by VV and CREW, and for those that missed out, tough shite.
The circle was called by our Summer Joint GM NO MORE CUM, and firstly he called for a minutes silence in respect of the concerning World Wide problem that showed its head in Paris over the weekend. We no longer know who are friends are, BUT you could bet your house on it that none of the B*******S wore a hash shirt, coz that’s not us. We love life too much.
Then our hares VV, TWO TIME and FINGERLESS were iced and the run / walk was discussed, but I never heard the outcome coz GANGREEN and REAR GUNNER where behind me talking about REAR GUNNER‘s up and coming retirement plans.
FREE WILLY then called for the Raffles and for a change I was a winner, YIPPEEEEEE.
An announcement was made about TWIN TUBS loosing a camera at the Jungles 333 run on Sunday, but when I remarked that I lost my 100th run singlet last Monday, everybody laughed. Now that singlet must have cost me 1000’s of dollars over the years (probably more than TWIN TUBS camera) as I must have traveled from PNG on at least 80 occasions to complete the 100 runs. Oh well, as they say back in PNG wori bilong mi. But if anyone should find my 100th singlet, I will glady do time in the bucket for its return.
HULK then has the circle and ices AIRHEAD and talks about the TQ franchise. Apparently a couple of ex PH3 hashers are opening a bar in Subic Bay and wanted to call it the TQ Bar, but this was not allowed. The new owners DERELICT and HELLBOY have now christened the bar TQ Baretto. Then there was talk about someone starting to spell the Phillipines with the letter F????? I was lost after that, I mean to say its like when TRY-A-FUCK says Smith, I always ask him does that ends with 1 or 2 F’s?.
Its then AIRHEAD‘s circle and he calls the Hares out and talks about Belguim being 30% muslim, and ask VV does he make his wife wear a veil inside the house? VV’s answer was “NO she’s not even allowed inside the house.” Well done VV, keep them properly tamed.
Then SUGAR DADDY, LINEAR ACCELERATOR, NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER and FINGERLESS are iced and called the NASTY GROUP. We all know SD is always accompanied by a good looking and young lady. But apparently SD was outdone by NNR as NNR’s latest conquest is just 16 years old. NO WRONG pleads NNR, she tells me she’s 20 years young. Now I ask you, who do we believe? NNR or our beloved and reknowned EMPEROR AIRHEAD?
AIRHEAD closes his circle with a naming and we now have a MISS TROUBLE amongst us, so welcome to Monday’s PH3 MT.
WANK-KING’S WANKER is next up with the stats, CROCODILE, TESTICLES and SPERM POLLUTER are all there for their 50th run, so well done guys.
NO MORE CUM has the circle again and calls the Hares in to do their song. Tonight we had, LINEAR ACCELERATOR, and TAMPAX on guitar, while HONEY BEAR sings an old Beatles song called “Girl”. The song is never going to make number 1 guys, so don’t give up your day jobs.
NMC continues and calls out SUGAR DADDY, WANK-KING’S WANKER, REAR GUNNER and SPERM POLLUTER, and tells us a story about SD taking 5 bullets helping to protect some ladies. Then he talks about the others being swingers, now in my day I knew what that meant, but maybe now it has a different meaning.
Then MENSTRUAL DISORDER, NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER, SHEIK MEME, KEN THE VIRGIN and BOY NAMED SUE are iced while FREE WILLY sits in the bucket for something that happened on the run.
Then things start to get a bit blurry as I open my 4th can. I remember SCAR saying something like Buk La La La which was Norwegian. SHEIK MEME being iced for not wanting to pay 800 baht to go on Sunday’s run, MR CHEAP talking about giving his meat to some young boy. FINGERLESS and DANGEROUS DAVE at the Sensation Bar and DD hiring a Kateoy to be his bodyguard and walking him home. Then apparently DD thought the lady boy had done a great job of looking after his body, he would hire her / him again so that he could look after his / her body. More on that story next week.
Hash was brought to a close with those last sinners singing the Hash Song. Another great Monday night comes to an end for the Scribe whilst others continue ON ON at the TQ.
Next week’s scribe is Fuzzy Lure.
Names are listed in alphabetical order and show Total Runs with the PH3.
Total Runners This Week – 92
Hashers Present Last Week – 57
2 Thawanrat Paowana; 2 Theerapat Paowana; 102 B. B.; 532 BALL RINGER; 31 BLACK JUSTICE; 27 CASPAR; 43 CRAPPER; 104 CROCODILE; 13 CROW FUCKER; 2 DANGEROUS; 267 DOESN’T TOUCH THE SIDES; 1328 EMPEROR AIRHEAD; 47 FINGERLESS; 16 FUNNY BUNNY; 121 FUZZY LURE; 565 G.I. JOE; 224 GANGREEN; 715 GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER; 102 HULK; 164 JACKAL; 48 JINGLE BALLS; 629 LADY FLIPPER; 273 LIBERACE; 45 MASTER CHEF; 103 MENSTRUAL DISORDER; 124 MENTAL DISORDER; 49 MR CHEAP; 680 MRS. HEAD; 121 NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER; 172 NO MORE CUM; 89 PAPRIKA SMILEY; 305 PELER; 149 PINKABOO; 13 POCKET SOCKET; 26 POLE FUCKER; 233 REAR GUNNER; 191 ROBBING BASTARD; 166 RUBBER DICK; 118 RUNNING BARE; 215 SCAR W/2TS; 193 SHEIK MEME; 44 SHIT ON MY SHIRT; 619 SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC; 649 SIR FREE WILLY; 649 SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD; 816 SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD; 34 SLACK VAGINA; 52 SPERM POLLUTER; 381 SQUEEZE MY TUBE; 162 STEPTOE; 351 STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS; 55 STREET CLEANER; 63 SUZY WONG; 128 TINY ANAL TORPEDO; 194 TRY-A-FUCK; 748 VIETNAMESE VIOLATOR; 255 WANK-KING’S WANKER
Returners – 22
2 Oraphom Somkaew; 27 BAHT BUS GESTAPO; 42 BANANAS; 31 BIMBO; 14 BOY NAMED SUE; 84 CAMEL HUMPER; 80 DESERT SCORPION; 145 HONEY BEAR; 18 LADY SNAKE; 102 LINEAR ACCELERATOR; 4 MEKONG DELTA; 4 MENTAL TAMPAX; 39 NA HEE MAN; 364 ODD-JOB; 96 POCAHONTAS; 32 PRINCESS BUM BOY; 46 PUGSLY; 13 SHIH TZU; 387 TAMPAX; 54 TESTICLES; 140 TWO TIME; 333 VELCRO DICK
Visitors (PH3 Total Runs) – 11
5 CANNON BALL – Bangkok Hash, Thailand
24 SUGAR DADDY – Eket Hash, Nigeria
9 CLASSIC – Kakadoo Hash, Darwin, Australia
3 BAAGOOSE – Mackay Hash, Australia
2 OUI OUI – Mackay Hash, Australia
2 DIP STICK – Mijas Hash, Spain
1 Noi Kunkanthang – Pattaya Jungle Hash, Thailand
1 FIFTY SHADES OF BROWN – Subic Bay Hash, Philippines
1 GRADE SEX – Subic Bay Hash, Philippines
4 MANGO MUNCHER – Subic Bay Hash, Philippines
1 SCREAMIN ORGASM – Unknown Hash
Virgins – 2
Leavers – 1
Anniversaries – 2
SPERM POLLUTER was awarded his 50th Run Plate.
TESTICLES was awarded his 50th Run Mug.
Hash Name Events – 1
Jasmin Estacid was named MISS TROUBLE.
Saints and Sinners – 0
~ none this week ~
Happy Birthday EMPEROR AIRHEAD – 22 Nov
Happy Birthday G.I. JOE – 18 Nov
Happy Birthday HONEY BEAR – 21 Nov