All good things must come to an end, and perhaps they did, only not my end, at least not last night! Actually I am referring to the smooth, tranquil, professional proceedings of Sir Frog's Last few hours as GM. He sure wanted to ice many hashers last night, whilst the force was with him. Let's hope he does not pass over to the dark side and remains a major player in future circles.
Okay now about the run, all flat, all dusty, all sandy, a little boggy in places, well papered, clever checks and a very clever trail given that the hares had to plan for Shit Through A Ducks 4 minute a mile pace. Yes! If he were a normal FRB somebody else might get to find a FT or even break a check. I propose he be given a back pack with a sand bag in it to make him less of a running machine and more human!
On on to the circle, the GM ices the hares and all agree a very good run. Raffle mattress Seaman Swallow takes the circle and picks up her basket only to find Lone Wolf has been throwing his empties in it (obviously a set up by VV) so Lone Wolf gets a 8 minute sit on ice whilst the raffle is completed. Sir Frog came in to join him on the ice for talking (actually he was only helping his long lost friend look through the 100 or so raffle tickets he had bought). The circle back to Sir Frog who ices Seaman Swallow for smelling very nice, she was joined by Spag Head who was not smelling very nice! To add insult to these two hashers they were forced to share seating with Arse Hopper and Are You Sure. Next in for littering was the new hash trash Tiger Bum, evidence that had been planted by Arse Hopper (He gets to sit again) was produced. The verdict by jury was Tiger Bum gets the trash award for additional cigarette butts everywhere. Headless Chook was called in to sit as newspaper cuttings of him being caught begging on beach road were brought to light. Fini on ice for sitting on Sir Frogs new 500 run chair. Sir Frog was very angry because now it smells of cheap gay perfume. A surrogate for Drippy was Karamba, iced for refusing to scribe because he was too busy making money and drinking in TQ 1. Sir Frog then had Flash Git in the bucket to remind him of the weather back in London. Next we had this strange man making strange pained expressions sitting on the ice, he was named Bam Bam for beating up his Thai brother in law. Chicken Nugget hit 400 runs today! Scary notion that one day soon, we have to call him Master Nugget and he isn't even old enough to do that yet. A well deserved thanks announced for Bottomless Pit, Clit Face, Arse-A-Holic, Seaman Stains/Swallow and Free Willy for their efforts and all the help they have given to the hash. Sir Chicken takes over the circle and we hear the true story of how Woo Woo's Ballwasher got his hash name, apparently he wasn't Ian Woosnams caddy/ballwasher but was actually on duty in the showers for another kind of ball washing! I am getting micky monk now so my notes are getting unreadable. I think Sir Chicken ices Sir Frog with his long lost ex service buddy from 20 years back, rumoured to have had the code name Linda for secret ops. He came very close to having a hash name on his first run. Frog back on ice again as Sir Chicken had a picture of him (an actual Frog) on a pet sized tricycle doing a wheelie! This lucky pet frog was actually a lottery winner and millionaire. The King and Queen were next for planning their interhash visit to Perth in Australia, a lot of visa problems here for the Queen. All got sorted out when she ticked the box the Kings Dick-Facto?! Shortly after this we had a wet arse competition and it was Marit who was the clear winner. A very strange thing happened next, "Seaman Stains" came in the circle and his body had been transformed in to that of a man! we all watched as Seaman Swallow started drooling at the prospect of being satisfied at last!
Then we had the boys with big toys on ice Lone Wolf and Apples Turnover who have two strange fetish, firstly polishing things until they really shine and secondly getting all dressed up in black leather and pink training shoes! Sir Chicken reckoned Apples Turnover should be re-named Apples Bendover. The circle goes back to the GM who tells us about Karamba, Fini and the King trying to win the love bite competition in the TQ1 last week by sloping off to the toilets and sucking on each other necks! Free Willy on ice, for yes you've guessed it, moaning about this and that. The hares song was next and yes you've guessed again VV sits on ice whilst letting his French friends sing for him. Good song only nobody understood a word. The next GM Spaghetti Head into the bucket with Free Willy on top! I can't think of anything worse except one of Free Willy's bestiality movies, the last down downs finished by the mismanagement and then wearing the Stains mask Sir Frog leads us with the Hash Hymn. An excellent circle and a great on on at The Dao Cafe with fantastic food.
C.U. All here or there, On-On
Festering Streaker