Cattle country I would say. Prior to the eager hashers turning up and of course the hare had carefully selected the circle area, well, right in the middle of this carefully selected circle, as a sign from above, there was this beef (Moo Moo), dropping fresh turd’s as a prophetic indication of what could be expected of the run. Bam Bam was seen removing the prophetic sign just prior to Bottomless Pit positioning the nectar of the Gods for the hoards of sweaty hashes. The run site was so close to town that G.I. Joe, that over achieving bastard, ran to the A-Site from his home on the beach. Spaghetti Head, our war mongering GM, has boasted all year that as a legacy of his tenure, he will attempt the unthinkable and have a different scribe for each weeks recording of events. Well, flawed is this execution when we witness victims with barely two runs, being shamelessly cornered by the GM (who’s name they do not know yet) and suckered into the illustrious scribe duty. Furthermore, and why this is a farce, Sheik MeMe had scribed run number 1256, which was hared by No More Cum, Scar with Two T's & SuperVirgin. This was again, during the GM’s tenure….. I am afraid he is losing it folks!
Talk about losing it, did you see Doctor Derelick when he got off the bus, well outside of the fact that he has already lost it……………….how about that gut, now that is something he can focusing on losing! Those low calorie Sam Mig Lights are again another farce buddy.
Usual new shoes and virgins and then the lone hare was brought in to discuss his recommendations for the run. Dogs, dogs, dogs was his cry………………Not Fucking Dogs who had the indecency to suggest that the only reason Sheik MeMe was the scribe was for the free run ticket! Bastard!
There was still small amounts of prophetic turd in the circle, which slipped through Bam Bam’s fingers as he was removing the evidence. One such clump in front of Festering Streaker and it was suggested by Miserable Cunt that this portion looked strikingly similar to what usually comes from Festering Streaker's mouth.
The crew headed out to trail with the pack tightly bunched for the larger portion, with some very devious checks, which contained false trails and one such was a mile round trip, which trapped an assortment of the pack many stages and brought the troop back together yet again.
The outstanding performance was from Big Nosed Bastard, who was the most consistent FRB. I was later told by Drippy that a cocktail of prohibited substances may be the explanation for this explosive exhibition of speed and endurance.
Beverly Hills Pink Cock with his run shirt supporting “Hong Kong Veteran Athletics”, should be banned from PH3, not only is it not a Hash shirt, it has a demoralizing hypnotic affect on Hell Boy and Bottomless Pit who unsuccessfully strive for fitness and witness this propaganda constantly trotting by as they move along trail discussing the war and what could have been.
King Yao Yao, put in another sterling performance, however Queen Stella was seen emerging from some cunning shortcuts which was previously never seen from the queen of true trail. This must be a result of distress and a reflection of her true secret love for King Yao Yao who assures all and sundry has not been evident for some time and that he and Sir Chicken Fucker are secretly conspiring on some wife swapping to re-ignite these former lusty relationships.
Miserable Cunt the ultimate pervert, confessed to people watching on trail and taking note of different running styles. This preoccupation is seen as a total distraction and potential self sabotage as his focus should clearly be on the opening of his new Go Go Karaoke Bar, arguably one of Pattaya’s best on Soi BJ.
Bam Bam and his sadistic nature has brought the pack, after some eight kilometres of hard going, through his signature act of contempt and just before reaching the A-Site, we were confronted by unavoidable mud up to knee deep, in which Really Sadistic Bastard disappeared and was recovered some time later.
The circle and the GM rightly iced the hare for his transgressions.
The return of Seaman Swallow brought about a long lost excitement as she conducted the raffles in her well perfected perfunctory style. During the proceedings she had Bam Bam, Beverly Hills Pink Cock, Dirt Digger and Hell Boy on the ice for unspecified misdemeanors, excepting that they all were raffle winners! Go figure? Rambo WW2 got his 250 run shirt which is a great effort.
Sir Chicken Fucker had Rambo WW2 and his matured sperm Dirt Digger on the ice and discussed the next generation. Rambo WW2 with the support of Sir Chicken Fucker, encouraged Dirt Digger and a portion of his harem to stop purchasing condoms and start to bonking with the single focus of procreation.
In came the visitors and returnees of Taxidermist, Out of Order, Rusty Bullet, Smells Like A, Ratcatcher and Technicolor Yawn.
We all sung Happy Birthday to little Jessica (was the appropriate version).
Sir Chicken Fucker and Sheik MeMe punished all and sundry without bias at various intervals and were struck by light rain that lasted less than three minutes and we managed to lose 30 people which is more beer for the PH3 to roll over to next week. Talking about Beer, what a great Beer Master we have in Bottomless Pit, and he is that last living German hippy.
In the absence of out resident Bad RA, Emperor Airhead, a re-naming ceremony was conducted by the GM, this guy has more hash names than a Pakistani con man on the run. Nonetheless, he was named Boxhead, which had some foundational truth in his former salad dodging British lover?
Turd Burglar, loves the PH3 so much, that he goes to Angeles City between runs for some cultural diversity, however is so cheap to claim the leavers down down and the returnees down down the following week!
Till next we hash………………..
OnOn
Sheik MeMe