Monday, that reminds me …. Hash Run? Halloween???
I didn't go hashing for a while because of my back problems but on this one I had to go, two of our Black Sheep buddies were the Hares.
Looked out of my window in the morning, dam rain again, LONE WOLF and I had a big shower last Saturday on the Mad Dog Charity ride with our bikes, thought we had to rebuild our bikes into boats to get home?
But hey, are we are Hashers or what? First I had to buy some French bread for our Black Sheep Gourmet and off we went. The rain was getting worse and I forgot my raincoat. Who cares anyway.
The A-site was somewhere on Soi 89, Sukhumvit. After searching for a half an hour I had to call the Hares to tell me where it was, I couldn't find it, nobody answered, so the only guy who always does answer, CLIT FACE, he told me there were 2 Soi 89, typical Thailand! Turned back and in the 2nd Soi 89, 500 meters further, there I saw the A-site.
It was the Halloween Run, but didn't see much of that?? What happened with dress up and the Halloween theme? Only the t-shirts looked Halloween.
Muddy, dirty but hey, the good thing was, nobody saw I had “New Shoes” didn't have to drink out of those dirty shoes, hihi.
Parked my car in the inside, looked at UNCLE PERVY and decided to get out of there before dark or I could have some problems with the mud, don't have a 4x4.
What did I see now, a tent, provided by the Hares and the sign up took place in there? Then I heard it was a Black Sheep tent for our gourmet, sounds great hares, Hash heroes!
Then a weird voice called a circle, the GM showed up with a magic hat and some outclassed “Pittelaire” outfit. Explained to us there was a Hash Meeting next Wednesday in Jameson's, he called in the Hares to tell us about the run, everybody ready to go….but the GM forgot the virgins, told them to be careful the first time, don't get lost and off we went.
First check wasn't that far out, very confusing; saw JELLO BUTT doing his bad job as FRB, showing us the wrong way as usual. First we went trough a ditch following the fence along the new by-pass near the railway, up and down, continue the trail passing some tapioca fields, 2 Japanese kids and their mother were in front of me, the kids got their shoes stuck in the mud twice and were saying some bad words in Japanese which only HIV understands and he was far in front, trying to keep up with JELLO BUTT.
Certain moment I heard some stuffing and puffing, LONE WOLF trying to keep up with CUJO’s lovely girlfriend, forgot her name, but didn't forget that ass….
The run continued trough some jungle, yes, jungle, how did they find a peace of jungle in the middle of Thai houses? And there it was, the swimming part, passing a river, for me up to my b…s and for others up to the knees… and so on muddy, wet and dirty until we came on black top for another 15 minutes to the A-site.
I was wet all over and had to change before we can enter the BS Gourmet tent for some “hors d’oeuvres” GM asked me if I was busy, I am always busy, I said yes, so I was the scribe for today. Same time UNCLE PERVY saw the bad news and gave me one of his home brewed beers to pick me up, thanks buddy.
Hurry up to the BS tent, everybody brought some food, German “schenken” (ham) cheeses, sausages, wine French bread etc…We were filled up and prepared for some circle beers.
Circle was called, and the Hares put on the ice. Some of us found the run, lovely and wet, some too short, some not enough dogs and some not shitty enough, the rest was for the Emperor to decide.
Raffle was called in by lovely SWALLOW, many people who were not too Cheap Charlie to buy tickets, they won, others…who cares…
ARSE HOPPER called in, he was the 95.000th sign up with the PH3.
TEENY WEENY awarded with his 350 run mug and UNCLE PERVY his 400th T-shirt, wonder if this t-shirt will still be extreme white in 10 years as the others he is wearing, how does he do that??
STUPID KRAUT KUNT on the ice with his virgin, for drinking beers while others were still running. Time for some rock and roll, THE EMPEROR in…hares on the ice, the crowd agreed it was shitty but a good run.
All the Russian/Estonians on the ice, one of the girls was a movie star that Airhead remembered out of his KGB porno series….. that… I was told!
CUJO and his girlfriend of long time on the ice, she had 100 runs and I never saw her before? They were talking running with DERELICK in the beginning days of the Hash. She looked in her twenties, man, she must have been very young on her first runs???
MUD CRACKER took over the circle, iced all the Americans and blamed them for the money crisis all over the world. BARNACLE BOLLOX serenaded us with “LIFE ON THE OCEAN, WIND BLOW FREE”
SIR CHICKEN F**R took over and iced the Cabbage family; CABBAGE KNIEVEL lost his helmet and was filled with seaman??? HIV and family iced for talking Japanese.
R. SADISTIC BASTARD iced for wearing Boys Town jacket with badges from other Hashes which he has never been with.
LONE WOLF and SIR FROG iced for acting in a movie with JC Van Damme, LW acting as martial arts specialist and SF drinking all the champagne in the back ground. Then it was time for the Hares to sing us a song, who were joined by STUPID KRAUT K**T, shame only me could understand the German song, haha.
SEAMAN STAINS in for the Hash Hymn and off we went to the Dao Café for some good food and cold drinks, thanks to all the Dao staff and owners.
That’s all I can remember after a few down downs and some Singha cans.
C ya'all next week,
SIR FROG the first