Total Hashers This Week - 109

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Correcting Run Records Policy

To encourage hashers, and hash virgins, to take responsibility for ensuring they have received proper run credit, the deadline for reporting missed runs will be Thursday evening following a run. As run stats are posted to the website by noon of the Tuesday following the run, hashers will have 2 1/2 days to review the run stats to confirm they've received credit for the run just held.

The reason for the Thursday deadline is we close out the run accounts and run records for a run on Friday mornings. Corrections entered before Friday help ensure we have an accurate accounting of the run.

It is hoped with this policy in place the number of hashers that pay the signup fee and walk away before having their name marked off on the signup list will be reduced. This will also eliminate the cases where a hasher comes to us weeks, months, or even years later asking to correct a missed run in the records.

The one exception to this policy will be those with duplicate run records can approach us when they're close to achieving a run award. At that time we will merge the records so the run award reflects all their runs with the PH3.

Missed runs can be reported via email to the Webmaster.

Click On Name To View Hasher's Run History History

Awards This Run

Sir MC
400 Runs

Cheap Norgy Cunt
100 Runs

Blue Nose
50 Runs

NOTE: Scribe Reports are written for your entertainment and are a work of fiction.
Any resemblance to actual people and events is purely coincidental.

Scribe Report by Sir Free Willy

"When the heart is full it is time for tears...Happiness is as the butterfly..If you can catch it in your hand...You must either let it fly away..Or keep it and watch it die"...Hindu proverb circa 1450.

Sunday morning....Yes that fooled you didn't it. Sunday morning and whatever virus carrying mosquito has sucked me has hit me with a sledge hammer.
For the first time in five years my attendance at the PH3 is in question.

Monday morning....Twice as bad. Needles in my head,,a throat like I have jollied in the Yum-Yum club for a week and "oh" those aching joints ( No pun intended Emperor Air Head !!! ).

So I go to the doctor.?..Should I to the Monks.?...No naturally I go to the Hash.!!!

Shock..Horror.!!!! Upon arrival the hares V.V. and Pig Pusher Swine Stabber have found a pleasant and usable A-Site.
No 4 x 4 pick-ups needed here..Is V.V. going soft in his old age.?.

The acting, unelected, fraudulent, impostor, no other hash wants him as G.M. puppet, Fenian B+++++D G.M Seaman Stains forthwith known as UFINPFB calls the circle.
No mention of the PH3 monthly meeting (the mismanagement do want hashers interfering with the hash heaven forbid so after one set of new shoes are blessed it is off out into the blue yonder for most of the attended multitude.

I still felt like Keith Richards warmed up so I sort the valued opinion of German Shepherd as the the virtues of the run.

"Ooh Air Le Papier " seemed to be the only complaint.

Still as I say when I hare it is supposed to be a paper chase. Not a day out for the local blind school guys.

Other than that the usual V.V. fare with small hills and very difficult checks.
The FRB's trotting in around 40 minutes as per the idea of the run.

Time to wind down for most or for some to wind up.!!
A little too much winding down perhaps as our illustrious UFINPFB did not call the second circle until 7.55 p.m.
Hare's iced as as already established a good run set by two experienced hares.
Looking at the Hare line after my run in two weeks there is an empty void.
Surely someone can drag themselves out of the bar to hare for the PH3.?.

Raffle conducted by the newly paroled Seaman Swallow and I am beginning to wonder how Cabbage Flaps makes the relish she donates so red. (No don't go there you sick puppies ).

Emperor Airhead takes the circle and is as prepared as usual.

He ices the hares and talks about the signs (does he never.?.) and then concludes his contribution by icing a pair of likely Americans Chris Robinson and Scott Lawson to complain about the U.S. Military allowing gays to enlist."They should all wear pink uniforms " barks EA..As a foot note what colour uniform did you wear mate?..Anyway seeing as the U.S. military have not had a successful military campaign for 60 years or more (sitting in the military mess halls for thirty years or more in banging about what the U.S. would do if they actually had a serious conflict to deal with does not constitute military service.) I would have thought they need all the help they can get...or put it another way so you have to be a giver to serve your country.??.

UFINPFB immediately ices SMM to ask the question." Hey I am G.M.why did I get iced".

My catcall of "Because your f------g crap" seemed to go down well.
I can't be all wrong then.

UFINPFB has his weekly private circle to welcome back returnee's (good to see Scar With 2 T's as usual pissed or sober).

UFINPFB deals with the anniversaries.

FLIPPER: 400 Runs Plate, BLUE NOSE: 50 Runs, THAT'S THE ONE: 100 Run T-shirt, CHEAP NORGY CUNT: 100 Runs, RINGWORM: 300 Run T-shirt, MISERABLE CUNT: 400 Runs. Well done one and all.

Variety is the spice of life so what can we expect next.?.
Barnacle Bollox, Red Coat, Scar no its Sheik Mee Mee.

If you did not know SMM and SCF via to go on first. The reason for this is neither wants to take the circle paralytic drunk.
SMM who is cross between Max Wall and Kevin (Bloody) Wilson takes the circle to strut his stuff and ices the usual suspects while getting worked up at any lack of attention or circle participation. If you have never witnessed his prat falls and his guggling grog act you can catch up with him on the Jungle hash or the Monkey or the Bush. People you must remember that SMM is a PH3/TQ made man and therefore above criticism. But to end on an up note at least the vertically challenged convict go's in the circle and "has a go".....Do you.??????

Bam Bam still trying to find the perfect song serenades a few Hashers who have lost money to Pattaya girls over the years with his abridged version of Rockin Robin renamed Cocks-R-Throbing.

Sir Chicken F----r takes the circle and as usual plays everything off the hoof. Being the PH3's version of Tommy Cooper (everyone laughs before he has even done anything) he has half the job done and gets away with more or less anything.
Among his victims this evening were Chris Robinson and Scott Lawson (who found this evening "Awesome" !!) and the ever reliable Scary Pussy who SCF is always confusing with Hairy Pussy.

No SCF Scary Pussy is the advancing Norwegian who pins Hashers up against happy hour bar walls.. Hairy Pussy is the top notch lawyer with a thousand connections who threatens to have her ex- "samme" terminated if 5 Million Baht is not forthcoming.

Hares song next....Sorry the hares never have a song.
Redcoat serenades us with his version of Alouette.
A clean version I hasten to add. My version is much better but I am too tired for the physical action to go with it.

Watch out next week for Redcoat, SCF and myself doing our revival of Wilson, Kepple and Betty doing the sandance.

Hash Hymn strangled and it is off to the T.Q. for what I will assume in personal absentia was the usual hot dogs and hot woman.

If I have left anyone out my apologies..
Faces and fannies I never forget but names are for tombstones.
To close never forget the words of Oliver Cromwell.."Know what you fight for and love what you know".

On On
Free Willy