As EMPEROR AIRHEAD said himself - a little imagination and initiative can really make a difference - and when two through and through hashers as VV and HORSE put their scheming brains together who knows what may happen. The MAD HAT RUN including a brilliant pig roast was the result and a success from start to finish. GM SCAR WITH TWO T’s orders, in his casual übermensch way, all fellow hashers to line up for the 1501 run photo before calling the 1st circle dealing with the 4 virgins and new shoes. All 94 men women and children set off on a classic VV run with gullies and swampland. The overweight hashers are soon stuck in the mud fields and overtaken by the slimmer more appropriate hashers. The elite runners (the ones we never see on the trail and only known to exist because of the colored sticks they leave behind along the trail showing the rest of us the way out of the jungle) MUDCRACKER and VASELINE THIGHS are well into their 2nd loop by the time the hordes reach the finish line gasping for air staggering towards the beer truck. After a few cold ones we all feel like true hashers and the world seems a much brighter place.
The RAFFLE - which everybody knew was rigged except the down to earth hard working Scribe, a hard blow to find this out after spending almost 50 baht on tickets - as always it was lead by the honorable BOTTOMLESS PIT who I by the way suspect wrote ‘the fest frewmaster in the forld’on my holy scribe report while I was a way attending necessities of life. A real character that Brewmaster of ours……
Mad hats covering mad minds everywhere to be seen; SIR DOG with a pig, HORSE with a moose between his ears, GI JOE with his pet monkey smoking a cigar? all Germans stumbling around with WW2 helmets of course and SCAR WITH TWO T’S hat made him look like one of many police officers hoping to give George Michael a b***job. One of the grimmer appearances of the day was Sir MC in an officers hat from the American Civil War imitating Brigadier General Lee of the Southern slave states, well I guess he could have pulled it off if he hadn’t gained that darned much weight!!! He was of course booed out of the final 50… The winner of the female category was HONEY BEAR who was forced by her loved one, SIR ARSEHOPPER, to make a hat out of half a carton of a whiskey bottle. In the sub 13 category MIDNIGHT STAR won with a hat made out of the other half of that same carton. It was further investigated that Sir ARSEHOPPER had won that bottle in a previous raffle costing him 50 baht…God where do we find these hashers!!! The manly men category champions were ODDJOB and HELIUM HEAD. Well,
EMPEROR AIRHEAD did a great job narrowing more than 70 men with mad hats down to 2 and hailed the hares for creating a great event. Joint GM WANK-KINGS WANKER takes the circle and establishes immediate authority by icing FESTERING STREAKER for talking and RING WORM for not being here for more than 2 years. GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER is notably honored for his 600th run, we all take our hats off for this royal Scotsman! SCAR ices FLYING FINN (better known for continuously serving innocent hashers free shots of Schnapps) for whatever reason before NO MORE CUM takes the command and ices all shady looking characters for reminding him of equally shady looking James Bond characters. CHARLIE MANSON, REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD, KARAMBA, ODDJOB, SCAR & Sir MC seemed like a perfect pick. It was really difficult to see who resembled Blofeld*s cat the most. SCAR ends the day and HONEY BEAR sings us a song. The lot is off to the new Hash bar, A-TEAM, located in soi Excite between Bukao and 3rd road, all made possible by the experienced bar hoppers FLYING FINN and ROBBIN BASTARD. Great night out for the 12 hash heroes who inaugurated this well established venue as a hash bar.
On-On! Poopachino