It felt good to be back after about 4 months without hashing. Suzie Wong and myself were warmly welcomed at the beautiful A-site. It felt like we have never been away.
As we arrived it was raining slightly and we expect more to come.
The 1st circle was called and was very short because there were no virgins, no new shoes or other stuff to mention.
So out it goes, 73 runners on the run. The rain stopped immediately so it was perfect weather for running. After passing a rubber tree plantation it goes straight up the hill. From there we had a beautiful view over Pattaya.
The walkers turned left and went back through a beautiful valley. So we did and arrived safely at the A-site.
I heard some bad stories about TAMPAX. But he argued that it must have been his evil twin brother, because he’s goody two shoes. As usual, V.V. provides excellent food made by himself. Especially the curry chicken I would die for! A bunch of Norwegians were sitting in a small circle and made some noise. They always claim that it is a language, but I hardly can believe it. WANK-KING’S WANKER pulled me over to our famous Hash Quack FLYIN’ FINN to get my dose of mystique, healthy Finnish medicine called Salmiakki. Wow, that was good! GM Scar W2Ts calls the 2nd circle. Tough it was dark already, I could continue making notes thanks to TAMPAX’ spotlight. The hares were put on the ice. All comments on the run were good, except from BARNACLE BULLOCKS. He claimed there were not enough bees because he only got stung only by one. The biggest raffle prize was a dustbuster. Oh wonder, this was not the first prize taken and even not the second!
Then T-SPOON was iced. He brought some virgins the week before and they get hurt on the run, so they couldn’t enjoy the fun later on in the circle. The circle was given to EMPEROR AIRHEAD, who iced the hares again. Overall, the conclusion was that they did a tremendous job!
Then a guy named Jaal, who is singing in and sometimes conducting a choir was iced. This caused EMPEROR AIRHEAD to explain us about the correlation between the singing voice and the size of the balls. I don’t want to go into the details further… In the end, Jaal got his hash name and from now on we call him JINGLE BALLS. It was then GM Scar W2Ts was put on the ice. He has birthday on the same day as Buddha. Although this in is a good omen itself, it has the disadvantage that on the day all bars are closed. The circle was handed over to WANK-KING’S WANKER and we get all the truth and facts. SMELLY BASTARD was awarded for 50 runs and gets his mug.
GM Scar W2Ts takes the circle again and iced the returners, ROBBIN’ BASTARD for lost property, RSB for start walking, FLYIN’ FINN for starting a BMI discussion with WANK-KING’S WANKER . After BARNACLE BULLOCKS sings a song about “stormy weather” and “pullin’ together”, MIDNIGHT STAR was awarded for 500 runs. Wow, only 11 years old and already 500 runs! In that moment I tought even if I will get 100 years old, I won’t reach this. But after that, the best brwemaster in the world, BOTTOMLESS PIT was also honored for 500 runs. He looks like being slightly below 100 years old, so at least I get a chance…
A guy named DON was called on the ice. He picked up a girl from Beach Rd. and “drove her home”. So far, so good – but not at 8.30 in the morning, eh? Maybe it’s cheaper at that time of day. STEPTOE sings us a very nice song about what can happen to an inexperienced guy coming first time to Pattaya. The hares were called to sing us a song and they made some melodious noise. I already gave some explanation about that.
At the end, we were led into the Hash hymn by TURD BURGLER. After that another exciting and entertaining Monday hash was finished and we all went home. See you next week, guys!
A message from V.V. On run 1514 of March 11th, V.V. will hare with Jackal and will also lay on a BBQ instead of his usual sandwich buffet. Be sure to come along as V.V's home made burgers are very very tasty !
On-On! Hulk