69 Hashers this Week! Hares: Beverly Hills Pink Cock & Mental Disorder Started off day with a left rear flat tire with 2 nails in it. Knew I was in for a rough day. At 1 p.m. limped vehicle down to motorcycle shop to have tire inflated. Then off to Sukhumvit Road and found Hankook Tire Shop whom has nitrogen to inflate tire with after repair. Back to the house, loaded up and off to A-site at 3:15 p.m. with PH3 Weekly Hash Sheet in hand. Reset odometer at Sukhumvit and Pattaya Klang to 0 and off I went heading South and started looking for left turn off when odometer hit 15.5 km. After passing 16.5 km on odometer, realized stop light at slightly over 15 km was the left turn off. Made a u-turn and a right at stop light with odometer reset to 0 again. The left turn at light wasn’t named Buddha Mountain Road. Next left on map was actually 4.8 km and not 5.5 km. Thank God for the yellow (HHH) sign at left turn.
Circle called with Beverly Hills Pink Cock explaining, look for white shredded paper on ground, white paper stapled to plants, white chalk arrows, and red painted wood for check points. Off the hashers went on approximate 8 k run. Run was great until reaching pagoda with 100 step staircase to the top of mountain. Run continue downhill, caught my shirt and cap in torn bush. Continue on not realizing I had hitch hikers on me. Had to brush off orange ants that were on my neck biting me. A few minutes later on the trail, one of the hasher had a wasp sting him on his face. Later on cross a irrigation canal, stepping in crossing with water up to my crotch. Continued on and completed my toughest run out of 17 to date. Run was very scenic with great view of rolling hills and giant gold Buddha on mountain side. Raffle was started with 8 prizes to select from (1) 8 pc. Knife set with wood block, (2) pink hanging clothes storage rack, (3) 6 egg boiler, (4) wall clock, (5) Contessa rum, (6) Bermuda rum, (7) long shoe horn, and (8) dish rack. First prize won by Lone Wolf, picks knife set; second prize by Linear Accelerator, picks clothes rack; third prize by B.B., picks egg boiler; fourth prize by Sir Arse-A-Holic, picks Contessa rum; fifth prize by Linear Accelerator, picks Bermuda rum; sixth prize by Wank-King’s Wanker, picks wall clock; seventh prize by Liberace; eighth prize lost track of. By now scribe is getting fairly buzzed.
Immediately after raffle, Emperor Airhead takes the circle and calls Hares on ice. Airhead continues on with his usual comical entertaining speech. Cabbage Princess starts her excellent timely task of serving drinks for the evening to all that is called into the circle. Once the Hares are off the ice, Airhead calls G.I. Joe to the circle to explain encounter with machete wheeling farmer whom seam to single him out with me witnessing the event earlier in the day as I jogged by. Honey Bear and her virgin gets called into the circle with Emperor Airhead calling her “the pretty girl with big tits”. Next Rasputin ordered on the ice with Liberace joining him. Airhead informs the hashers of the 2 of them having worked at a gay bar. Liberace for a month and Rasputin for nearly 5
months at the bar. Next Emperor Airhead hands circle over to Wank-King’s Wanker. Beverly Hills Pink Cock called to circle for his sixth Hare to have a beer. Called back again for his 150th run is Beverly Hills Pink Cock to have another beer. Mental Disorder called to circle for his 10th Hare. Liberace called to circle for his 150th run. Hulk called to circle, must have felt guilty for something as he sits himself on ice without being called to do so. Wank-King’s Wanker immediately has Hulk stand up to receive his mug with beer for his 50th run. Katoey Masterbater called to the ice. Anal Bread Fruit ordered to the tub. Guys on ice ask about upcoming Aussie Run. Circle control transfer to B.B. B.B. calls unknown hasher to ice, second to is Anal Masterbator. Then a third hasher to ice. Rasputin called to bucket. 2 of the hashers are ice for sharing the same lady knowingly. Next is Ball Ringer ice for being the third man to share the same lady.
Everyone completes down downs. B.B. calls 3 hashers to ice, one to bucket, and virgin on ice.Circle control transfer to Miserable Cunt. Hulk ordered to ice, B.B. second, third is Sir Really Sadistic Bastard. Unknown hasher ordered to bucket and virgin gets to sit on side of bucket. Wank-King’s Wanker is given back the circle. Calls Beverly Hills Pink Cock to circle for control. He calls 4 hashers to the ice. Anal Bread Fruit called to the bucket. Next Wanker calls me to the circle. Wanker picks Meati Whore for the bucket, Miserable Cunt to the ice, followed by Linear Accelerator, B.B., and Ozzy Bob are all on ice. Since Meati Whore would not sit his ass
in the bucket by stretching across the bucket, Hulk voluntarily sat on him, giving everyone a good laugh. Last down downs were done. After Hash Hymn was sang, Linear Accelerator and me headed off to On On Bar T.Q. We were first to the bar and had a chance to down several beers before the hashers arrived by bus. As the evening carried on Wank-King’s Wanker accidently put out his cigarette against my knee, ouch! After a few more beers in me, I didn’t feel a thing anymore. The hashers seam to really enjoy themselves as the evening progress on. Several dancers were painted with body paint by the artist with animal figures on the bodies which looked great under the black light. As the night wore on everyone seam to become more inebriated enjoying the evening more.
On-On! Necrophilia Night Rider