Pattaya, Thailand... Out of town, in the middle of the jungle. Where no man has gone before! It's the year 2015, this is logbook entry #1639! The duty-officers SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD and DOG LHD have explored and prepared the area for the arrival of the hashers.
It would sound similar to that, if I were Captain Kirk. But I'm SUZY WONG and I am the "Scribe" this week. If you had other duties this Monday, I'm sorry for you: you've missed a nice A-site and a very funny circle!
The A-Site was prepared very well by SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD using professional tools for home & garden works. The quality of his work makes me believe, that he's going to plant tomatoes and other vegetables there after the run.
Until the first circle starts, you could hear the latest stories. Who needs ThaiVisa or any other media? All important news you'll learn on a Monday at the Hash!
Well... and because SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD and DOG LHD had to talk so much (apparently not hares business), they were the first guys sitting on the ice - including a double Down Down.
No new shoes, no virgins (in fact, it was a no-no-run: even no On-On bar), so the hares explained about the run and off we went.
In the beginning, it was a bit confusing. But that leads to situations where you met hashers on the run, which you meet under normal circumstance only at the start and the next time after the run. As an example, only with SIR BALL RINGER I've met three times on this run! The run was excellent and well papered. For the first time ever, there was a trail papered even for the beer hunters!
After all hashers returned and chilled a bit, the second circle was started. Again 2 guys on the ice for gabbling, this time SIR FREE WILLY and SHEIK MEME. Didn't get it, since those two chaps are normally so quiet... Words come only hardly out of their mouths, don't you agree? :-) Of course, the hares were next on the ice. All hashers were pretty happy with the run.
Raffle-Time... and the winners were: EMPEROR AIRHEAD, SUZY WONG (oh..yes, its me!), LADY SNAKE, NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER, LIBERACE, BOB SNOT HERE, LOST CAUSE.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD took the circle and iced the hares. He mentioned, that SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD is older than the Hash and the hares together must be well above 1000 years old.
Next on the ice were PISS POORER and NO KNICKERS. Well, NO KNICKERS is pregnant and it's time to find a good hash-name for the unborn baby. The first song the baby gets used to will probably be... You guess it, "drink it down, down down"!
EMPEROR AIRHEAD thanked the Aussies for the nice gift from Australia for him. Kangaroo Balls... as a bottle opener. It was his last Hash for a month. EA will go to USA to do his second job... being a cowboy!
Next on the ice was LORD CHICKEN FUCKER... Yes Ladies and Gentlemen... He was there and like always, when he showed up, it's funny and entertainment as its best. I couldn't write everything down, what was said between these two giants of the Hash... but everybody who was there... lucky them!
Some anniversaries came up. So... SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD was honored for the incredible number of 70 Hares. HULK got a very nice shirt for his 10th Hare. We are not ready yet... FOWL FUCKER was congratulated for his 400 run, GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER finished 700 runs and HULK again for his 100 run... SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD was iced again with V.V. ... and believe it or not... V.V. has 137 hares! Unbelievable...
LORD CHICKEN FUCKER took over the Circle... and that my dear Hash-friends, was pure entertainment! If I would write down everything, we would need plenty of extra pages for it.
LCF was a little bit surprised about the story he had with SHEIK MEME. SHEIK MEME called him Darling, while he was talking to his girlfriend in Australia... so far so good. But at the end SHEIK MEME paid for all the food and the drinks... Halleluja, if he dId so... SHEIK MEME could call everybody 'Darling', no problem!
The next guests on the ice were PISS POORER and NO KNICKERS again. This time the big question: " Who's the father of that baby?" came up. We have to wait and we will see who it looks like. Candidates are PISS POORER, CAPTAIN KANGAROO, K.A.M. - or maybe an abo?
The question for GI JOE was, why he looks pregnant? He runs every day... so he went in the bucket. BALL RINGER... was iced and there was something about his son and his wife and a microwave.
LORD CHICKEN FUCKER was a little bit concerned about Hash names given to new hashers recently. If he asks somebody of the new hashers for their hashname, he gets answers incorporating words like rainbow, princess or star. Could make one believe, those guys are members of a fairy-tale group. Come on, this is the Hash! What happened? What about REAL hashnames???
A personal note: The person who put me on the ice for the first time (at my first run of course, back in March 2011) was... Yesss, LORD CHICKEN FUCKER!
SHEIK MEME took over the circle and iced DEL BOY, SEAL SUCKER, GI JOE and Mark Stoker from England. I'm sorry but I forgot for what...
Next were HULK and GOLDEN RIVET... and a story came up, which is known by everybody who was on the '30 years of PH3' run in January 2014. HULK and I were part of that story and I fear it will haunt us until our last days. To cut a long story short... If you were there, when our son got the hashname HAG SHAGGER, you know for what (the name says it all) and how my face looked like at that moment!
Time for the Hare-song and LORD CHICKEN FUCKER did it for the hares while they were on the ice. Rain came up at the end of the circle, so we did a very fast version of the Hash hymn.
As we went home, we've spotted an accident and stopped our car at the scene. Apparently, the accident happened a minute ago. Did you ever see a rear wheel sheared off the car? Wow! Thankfully nobody except a tree was injured.
On-On! Suzy Wong