Finally a run with no rain. The A-Site, in the Mapuchan Reservoir had never been used before as was pointed out by EMPEROR AIRHEAD, the reason being that it is supposed to be a meter deep in water to be supplied to Pattaya city but not this year I guess. Hares TAMPAX and VV together for the first time since the dueling e-mails feud concerning some other Hash, laid out a fine run, lots of scenery surprising since we were so close to town, lots of water and herds of Brahmas that CRAPPER had huge fun tormenting into stampeding.
Only question I had was why did we go through so many newly planted tapioca fields. One hour for runners and an extra half hour for walkers with nobody lost in the jungle this time, always a good thing. Last runners in were GOLDEN RIVET and SHIT ON MY SHIRT who arrived in the dark using GPS, otherwise who knows when they would have been found?. Same run but in reverse of the 2012 St. Patrick's Day Run put on by KEE MAH and his fellow Irishman FINI THE FAGGOT who then moved to Chiang Mai, a place so boring that I know he will be reading this report for his weekly excitement.
A hot and humid run with everyone sweating gallons except for the usual beer hunters, pot smokers, injury fakers and TESTICLES who only got his shirt wet from spilling his beer down the front. POCKET SOCKET was devastated that her almost new pink shoes got muddy and spent the whole circle time thinking about it in the dark.
Gene from Bangkok Hash was iced for saying that they no longer have ice because it's considered barbaric by those enlightened ones. LINEAR ACCELERATOR iced for arranging a sex change for his wife of only a few months. (Seems like he has the same effect on women as DYKE CONVERTER in Chiang Mai and INDUCES MENSTRUATION in Angeles.)
All the English guys iced for interrupting AIRHEAD's circle with boring history of their country. MENTAL DISORDER and MENSTRUAL DISORDER iced for having such a boring year hashing in every f..ing country in Africa, Sri Lanka, Pakistan and Bangladesh, oh and there were rumours they even had time to fit in a climb up Mt Everest. Kiwis and Aussies all iced for something about Rugby that nobody gives a shit about except them. Apparently New Zealand won the match but the Aussies retorted that they had won Synchronized Swimming.
Congrats to SPERM POLLUTER, 50 runs, LINEAR ACCELERATOR with 100 runs and PELER with 300 runs. A bittersweet anniversary for LINEAR who paid an extra 40 baht to have his name engraved on his 100 Run shirt, only to have his name changed 10 minutes later to JUSTIN BEIBER by that very animated RA SHEIK MEME. Who knows where that is going? BARNACLE BOLLOX iced for forgetting why he iced people and for singing Yorkshire songs.
Hares song was a live very professional rendition of “Wish You Were Here” with TAMPAX and LINEAR on guitars and HONEY BEAR on drums. HONEY BEAR asked TURD BURGLAR to do a video with her so he was quite excited (you know what he's thinking) till he found out it was only of the song. Wow, can't wait for next week's run but we'll be without SUGAR DADDY and TURD BURGLAR who will be leaving to continue their perversions in another country, always one step ahead (nod nod, wink wink). Thanks to STEPTOE for the Captain Morgans, we sure needed that.
Kee Mah, "Do I get my free run now?". Ed.: Yes Gerry, you can pick up your free run at signup.
On-On! Kee Mah