Hares for today was changed in last minute, at least on the website. So MENTAL FAMILY, POCKET SOCKET and CRAPPER were given the circle to explain the run very quickly, due to a supposed long run, and long drive to A-Site and we are getting close to the shortest days of the year.
Even the Beer Hunters wee in trouble, far away to nearest waterhole. But thanks to MUD CRACKER who was in only after 48 min, SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD didn't have to wait as long as he first thought to get his beer. As I am not running these days, I guess the run was very good, as we had experienced hares. The A site was beautiful by a lake, with big trees to surround us.
An almost full moon came up, and the GM, NMC, calls the circle, first the noisy girls gets a seat, for being noisy. And GM warns everybody that littering is an iceable offense.
Raffle times, SIR FREE WILLY had done a great job selling tickets, it keeps the hash in net profits, so we do not need to rise the signup fee. Lots of good prizes were won by various lucky hashers, I did not win so let’s move on on.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD is in next, calls the Hares to have a nice cold seat, and have noticed that the girls do all the work, when the boys sit back and drink, hmm nothing wrong with that.
The we have this noisy group of Belgians, they all get ice seats, and have to show that they have learned the Hash Hymn since last Monday's failure. Well done. He then ices two Thai Harriettes, they are the troublemakers.
And THE EMPEROR goes on with new names, SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC's girlfriend is named PINK DOLPHIN. And we have a Dutch hasher, who owns a coffee shop in Amsterdam, his new name is WHORE IN THE WINDOW, great names, I am sure the both are happy. Virgins are welcomed to the Pattaya Hash, and are informed they now are members of the "Greatest Hash In The World"!
WANK-KING'S WANKER hands out the awards: GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER has completed 750 Runs!!! RUBBER DICK and BEVERLY HILLS PINK COCK have completed 200 Runs each!!! BAHT BUS GESTAPO was given his 50 Runs cap. TWO TIME gets her 20 Hares cap!!! And SCAR W/2TS gets his 10 Hares Shirt!!
The GM takes the circle again, and brings in the big man VELCRO DICK, and he has gotten even bigger!! GM is wondering how he can drive the car now. KNOB MARLEY has an English girlfriend that is very much to the GMs pleasing, she lets him off to Pattaya for a month’s holiday when she is back home earning the money.
MENTAL FAMILY has found a new way of income, buying haunted houses in the Philippines, and have a priest clear them for ghosts, and sell them again with a large profit. RAT VON KIEL, a drunk driving Belgian, explains how he can pay his way out of the handcuff and prison.
SCAR is handed the circle, shuts down the noisy groups and brings in the virgin with no Hash shirt, promise she would have one next time. WINDOW WANKER, explains how his girlfriend wears camouflage lipstick, and how he thinks two 8's is the same as one 16. Okay.... DIRT LOONEY explains an almost broken rib from a stiletto outside Linda Bar in Walking Street, should have stayed at the Lucky Star Bar instead.
LONE WOLF ices the litterers, and tells them to keep the country Clean. Also brings in SPERM POLLUTER who shows off himself as a James Bond lookalike. SPERM POLLUTER is now a GM in the Jungle H3, tells us a tear dripping story about the loves of his life, CASPAR and BLACK DIAMOND, and it is BLACK DIAMOND's birthday, so she gets the song.
It is time for the Hares to sing a song, but they do not have a song, the get iced, and STEPTOE steps in a do the song for them.
It is now the end of another great day out with the Pattaya Hash House Harriers, Hash Hymn is performed, and off we are back to town.
On-On! Scar w\2T's