Part 1
What another great week-end of superugby all the Kiwi teams win beating the South Africans, Japanese and Aussie teams. In fact, the worst Kiwi team hammered the best Aussie team. What a disgrace they are and no birth certificates. Bring on the Lions they too will get well hammered when they tour N.Z. in June.
A perfect start to the week is the Monday Hash even if it is a rather hot day. We all prefer that as it makes the cold beer taste even better.
The hares, the ever increasing DISORDERLY FAMILY, go about explaining the trail with lots of do's and don'ts. They point us in the right direction asking the walkers to remain behind.
A very clever ploy as the runners do a 3km loop with some tricky back checks that keep the pack together. To our surprise the walkers are gathered on the road eager to mingle in with the pack of runners.
Then the confusion started. The FRB's KIDNEY WIPER, G.I. JOE and ARSE BANDIT strike a backcheck but unknown to them they each move it three times so no one knows where the the fuck it was originally. But in the distance we see the walkers who have picked up the trail, then more confusion as the trail goes in a 50 metre circle with paper everywhere. Never mind. Confucius say "Nice to Meet Girl in Park. But much better Park Meat In Girl".
The pack spreads out as GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER who's running like a teenager sets the pace as he gets a sniff of the beer truck 1km away. Then suddenly like a sack of shit he ends up flat on his face. It was hard not to laugh. He says, "No worries, mate" as he spits out sand and his one tooth!!
To be continued.... but now, BEER TIME
Part 2
Okay, back now....
GM MENTAL calls the circle and SIR WILLY's Raffle is a great success with many hashers gleeful with their elaborate expensive prizes.
The virgins are iced but GM MENTAL discovers that half the virgins are not virgins. To compensate for their mistake they offer promotional prices on their professional services.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD takes over and the Beer Hunters are punished for wanting to bar fine the big fat pink pig at Porky's Bar. Not all is lost though REALLY SADISTIC has her phone number.
The MENTAL FAMILY is iced, the EMPEROR is concerned there are still many MENTALS out there in the jungle, MONGREL MENTAL, MUNTER MENTAL, MONGOLIAN MENTAL... the list goes on.
BOB-A-GOB is in the bucket for his virgin who's not a virgin and has no hash shirt.
SIR WILLY and STUPID KRAUT KUNT on ice for making blue movie together whilst in prison. It's title was "Behinds Bars". The movie bummed out.
Belgians iced for talking and not singing.
BURL IVES sings hare song, down-downs drunk.
On-On! Seal Sucker