It's Scotch On The Rocks time again and our three Scottish hares have been working really hard to make sure we all had a good time today. They started out at 5:30AM and finished laying paper around 11:30AM. These days of course the hares have to take care of the walkers by laying a separate 'walkers' trail so even more work to do out there in the wild lands of Pattaya. The directions to the A-Site were clear and so too were the HHH signs. They had even marked exactly the spot for V.V. to park the beer truck.
The A-Site was a familiar one to a lot of people and well out of Pattaya off Phoenix Road. The weather was humid and a little bit too overcast but as yet no rain. It is the low season now but we did have a good few extra runners today as they are in town to take part in the Thai Nash Hash next weekend.
So anyway, the first circle was called, new shoes, virgins etc dealt with and then the hares, attired in full Scottish national dress explained their system of red and yellow checks, blue and white back checks, papering and walkers trail. They also talked of the prizes for the hares raffle and all the freebies on offer after the run. We were told to look out for balloons on the trail as they would be worth an extra raffle ticket. Then we were off.
So we crossed the new highway that was under construction and on into the scrub land. The paper was well marked out with hanging strips stapled to the trees. I was trying to manage a pulled calf muscle so was relieved when time and again the front runners returned after coming across the well placed 'back checks'. The back checks are maybe the only way to more or less guarantee keeping the pack together. Of course the front runners will not have the same opinion! It was actually a good running trail, ideal for the front running athletes within our ranks. Just who they are I am not sure and one of the best runners on the hash these days is one of the hares GKW who of course stayed back at the A-Site.
After about 50 minutes or so we returned to the A-Site and got stuck into the hares sponsored whiskey, home made fudge and jelly shots. By the time the second circle started there were some drops of rain around but also a lot of very happy runners. Not enough rain to cause any real problems but enough for GM MENTAL DISORDER to waste no time in getting the second circle started.
As is customary, the GM called in the hares: GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER, SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD and DIRT LOONEY and introduced them to the ice blocks but they were also joined by BIGGUS DICKUS and BURL IVES who shared the ice bucket because they were late getting themselves into the circle. In great anticipation, one of the hares DIRT LOONEY came in and took care of the hare sponsored raffle and the lucky few came to collect their bottles of whiskey. Thank you hares.
With that done it was the FREE WILLY Raffle and the table was full of his very well selected prizes. EMPEROR AIRHEAD was up next and he of course put the hares on the ice again. The run was voted very good and everyone was happy with all the hare sponsored goodies and work they had put into their run.
Next he brought in BOB-A-GOB to explain why he awoke one morning sporting a Black Eye. Of course he couldn't or wouldn't tell us all how he got the injury? With that out of the way MD took the circle looking for the owner of a Blue Tooth headset that was left at the A-Site the previous week. No one owned up on this day so maybe we will find out next week who lost the thing.
LONE WOLF took a turn in the circle and brought more people onto the ice including our GM with the topic being sex talk. So with that, V.V. came in to demonstrate exactly where 'not' to put the condom if one finds oneself lucky enough to be in the sort of intimate situation that requires the use of a rubber!
With the Nash Hash being just around the corner, we had some real hashing enthusiasts within our ranks. So LONE WOLF brought them into the circle. These guys were SUGAR DADDY, SLAP and ARSEHOLEO and all three of them were kitted out with hash jackets covered in hash patches and one even had an LED flashing name tag!
On the entertainment continued, with people being iced because of watching or 'not' watching a game of football, being British or because one's name is BOB-A-GOB. Flipping heck that guy was on the ice a lot and he even had the MD 'live' birthday cake treatment which was 'baked' by LOST CAUSE and TELLY TUBBY. I am never going to have a hash birthday again I can tell you! Hope the guy had some spare clothes with him? B.B was also given a slot in the circle and made us all laugh with some of his jokes, this time about Vikings and the birth of the Scottish Kilt.
On we go and late as it was, WANK-KING'S WANKER was finally given the circle and presided over the presentation of a 100 Run T-Shirt to GOLDEN RIVET and a 200 Run T-Shirt to TWO TIME. Well done to them.
So after a well performed and rehearsed hare song it was time for the Hash Hymn and the end of a great day of hashing. Well done to the hares and thanks everyone for a good day out. See you next week for the Betty Boop Run.
On-On! Tampax