Hello folk. It’s good to hash here again since March. I am BOW TIE, writing from 650k north of Pattaya. I tell you why. You may know already I take very good care of my sahmi ROBBING BASTARD. He was chosen to be scribe. I tell my sahmi that I take very good care of him because I want him to live for a long, long time so he is still around when I get old. He now gets back from a run before dark. I help him over barbed wire and shiggy, pick him up after falls, shower him after the run and fetch his beers. I also navigate the car trip back to Isaan. When he drive to keep him safe I tell him to slow down at every road works and every village as well as watching out for dangerous drivers who don’t have a good lady like me taking care. I tell you it is not easy.
It happened before. I must write scribe for him, and even do his hares (when STEPTOE not here). I tell him Do not do scribe. I very busy. “No worry”, he say, “SIR FREE WILLY selects the scribe. He hides it well but he has a heart of gold. He will understand there’s no time for writing a report.”
GM MENTAL DISORDER was on Baht bus. He handsome man with good body. Shame he has good lady. I think she do all the GM work for him. MENTAL DISORDER very devious man.. He say sahmi write good scribe can sit in circle. My sahmi not very good at standing after run forget promise and say yes. LONE WOLF photo him as scribe but now his panrayah must write run report, not him. Not very good and no scribe photo of me.
SHIT ON MY FACE visitor from Japan, was on bus. He good looking and a FRB so he strong. Body not have muscles same as MD. He say Shit in his name mean hair not Kee so that good. I not know if he has lady.
SCAR W/2T’s drank to his new shoes which were a wedding present (another handsome man no longer available). Then GM call hares ‘Bloody Belgians”. (Not very good but they not mind) UNSTABLE LOAD, ARSE VAN HOLE, CHICKEN DUNDEE, MAYO QUEEN, RAT VON KIEL and SMOKEY TRUCKY FUCKY. One or two look quite good, not so old and quite strong. But they tell big lie “No mountains, no rain, no water, no cattle……" and I am up to my knees in water minutes later. I not talk about that. I think they try hard to make a very good run. “Exemplary run” my sahmi say. About 4 or 5 back checks and 2 ordinary checks in less than the first 2K. We were with the walkers but CRAPPER and POCKET SOCKET, the DISORDERS, and BILLION SUCKER were walkers who left soon left us behind.
I think one of the hares know it is hard for me to get RB up steep banks. He wait on run to pull my sahmi up bank. He very good man, know old men hashers need help. (Does he have a good lady already?).
Just behind us were two or three hashers led by SMILING BROWN SPIDER. I think he and RB very competitive. Not want to be last hasher back. ROBBING BASTARD try hard to get away but SBS was always there a pace or two behind.
The walkers/runners split was extremely well marked as it was when we joined together again. We (the slower walkers) met up with the runners at the end so we finish not far behind BEETROOT HEAD, NO MORE CUM, BARNACLE BOLLOX and G I JOE among others. BALL RINGER also ran past. He very good man produce strong son and take good care of him. Why best men taken already? So runners and walkers finish so close together and no one lost. Clever hares!
First Raffle prize winner was me! I chose big bottle of red wine. Arroy but the red wine I had in Nicky’s (On On) Bar was better. Other winners included STREET CLEANER, SEAL SUCKER, SLUG, TESTICLES and lady with ARSE BANDIT.
SCAR’s son MILKY WAY was iced as he found real girl to bring to the hash. She was good fun and joined in joke about her competing with her new ‘mother-in-law’ to produce a family.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD praised Belgian team for good A-site and run and then iced KARAMBA (welcome returner form Egypt) and BILLION SUCKER, another sailor, for damaging the head of a TQ dancer and being drunk enough to think that this caused a subsequent motor cycle injury she sustained. STREET CLEANER was then iced for bringing a lovely young Vietnamese girl who was related by marriage. (She too pretty to be his daughter).
Nguyen Loan was given the hash name PINK TIGER and this was followed by many Belgians singing not the Hash Song in Flemish. The tune was almost as difficult to recognise as the words but may have been “Coming Round the Mountain”
Awards presented by WANK-KING’S WANKER were MAYO QUEEN and RAT VON KIEL 5 Hares each, UNSTABLE LOAD 10 Hares and HARBOR WHORE 50th Run T-shirt.
NO MORE CUM iced KARAMBA, FREE WILLY and LONE WOLF for needing a testosterone checkup, SLUG for claiming to have seen ET (that good news) and PSYCHEDELIC for sitting in the circle even though he was entitled to by age.
SHITHEAD, SEAL SUCKER and TESTICLES sat on the ice while we heard that they were spotted by SCAR in a very drunken state when SEAL SUCKER apparently walked into a stationary motor cycle while talking to a parrot. It seems that the parrot’s contribution to the conversation made far more sense than SEAL SUCKER’s. The street in which this happened was not named but I am glad as I think it was not the sort of street I would want my sahmi to go down.
The evening was brilliantly concluded with an original and very funny song by one of the RAT VON KIEL (Pattaya’s Love Machine.). and the Hash Hymn. Once more the Belgians shine.
On-On! Robbing Bastard