Run number 1793, Belgian National Day or was it Mourning Day for losing out in the World Cup. Don't worry guys you done a hell of a lot better than Australia.
I went on the walk and clocked up 4.1 km and others clocked up 5.6, silly buggers, they didn't find the short cuts. My comments on the walk were great, good area, clear tracks, and if I could run still it would have suited me.
When the GM calls the circle and ices the hares he asked for comments on the run, and it proved to be as good as the walk, well done. SEAL SUCKER should have been given the Hash Crash as I heard he fell over, and DIRT LOONEY should be given some water wings coz he found a lot of it, so he says.
Before the front runners came in 2 Harriette's went to the beer bucket to get beer, and we all know that is a cardinal sin. They should have been dealt with more severely and so should their partners. A longer bucketing should have been in order, but one of the ladies did sit ON the bucket, so well done.
The GM brought in 4 fat barstards, GANGREEN, FAT WILLY, THE WIZARD and VELCRO DICK, and asked are these guys runners? Well we know one of them is, and we know one of them walks, one smokes, and the other sells rags, you work it out.
FREE WILLY then has the Raffles, and I am sure he sold me last weeks tickets coz there where no 03XXXXX numbers called. One of the prizes was a small size bra, and of course the question is asked, what size tits are the best? In my opinion, more than a mouthful is a waste, but then I am told I have a BIG MOUTH.
REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD then does a down down song about three little girls, well done RSB, don't know how you remember those words after taking a few others with you on the BH4, for the uneducated that's stands for Beer Hunters Hash House Harriers.
The circle is then handed over to EMPEROR AIRHEAD, and we all know we will have some laughs. First to be iced are the hares, then he ask the circle for comments. First person he ask is NECROPHILIA NIGHT RIDER and his comments, I can't remember??????? What where you on NNR????? DIRT LOONEY talks about the water again, maybe he can't swim? and others comment that the run was well set, so well done you Belgians.
MENTAL family are then on the ice for overloading the aeroplane with TIM TAMS and SNICKER BARS, which are Australian treats for the non Aussies. VELCRO DICK is iced for joining a GYM, as he wants to loose weight. Tell him to stop eating all the pies then (that's a fat barstards song).
OUT OF ORDER and I MAU, are reportedly romantically linked, and they could be going to live together in Arizona. Then of course the story comes out about a bar girl being taken to the States by a guy who promises to show her all of America. She thought great, hotels swimming pools and a life of travel and luxury. Turned out he was a long distance truck driver and they where going to live in his Kenworth. Then the story of another bar girl who runs off with an Aussie coz he owns an opal mine. Girls find out FIRST where the opal mine is coz Coper Pedy is bloody hot, bloody dusty, and has more bloody flies than people.
Then it was the turn of 2 virgins to introduce themselves, that was Ronny from Belgium and his Thai girlfriend. When introducing virgins to their first hash maybe we could sing the 'Meet the Hashers' song.
Now it's WANK-KING'S WANKER's circle and he calls out THE WIZARD for 100 runs, MAYO QUEEN, not even going to suggest how he was named, for 10 hares, which is 9 more than he has on his head, and COLONEL CORNHOLE for leaving his 3 daughters on the baht bus. FREE WILLY gives LIBERACE his 400th sign up not run shirt, and WANK-KING'S WANKER his 20th hare shirt. F!!!ing athletes.
GM's circle again and he ices ANAL BREADFRUIT, and the Belgians for a good run. SLUG sings the 'Grand Old Duke of York' down down song, and BURL IVES who is sitting next to me says good song.
THE WIZARD is back in the circle and ices all the Yanks, too many to name, something to do with their president Donald Trump and no education in how to behave in front of Royalty.
DIRT LOONEY does his Humpty Dumpty down down poem, and again BURL IVES says good song. MENTAL DISORDER is then called in not to sit on ice, but to sit in a wheel chair with a intravenous drip into his bottle of bourbon. SEAL SUCKER gets Hash Shit for forgetting the 'Wanker of the Week' award, but loses the hash shit to MENTAL DISORDER coz he got the wrong date on some patches that are being made. THE WIZARD then gives them all a 'Who the F..k is Mental' song.
Circle goes back to GM who ices THE WIZARD and thanks him as stepping in as acting GM whilst he was away having a new knee. Also ices CANNONBALL and JACK WOW for whatever. English go on the ice for selling their English soccer shirts off cheap after not winning the World Cup.
Then it's time for the hares song, and they don't disappoint us. They give us a great song about marrying an Issan lady, buying a big house coz she has a big family, many motor bikes for her brothers, more buffalo, coz the last one died and was eaten. Then of course he is left with no money, so gets no honey, and her being the lovely gal she is, heads back to Pattaya to find a newly arrived untouched Englishman. How many times have I heard such true stories, it nearly brought tears to my eyes.
It's then time to close the circle with the traditional hash song lead by BALL RINGER's offspring BEN 10. So then comes to the end of another great evening of exercise, fun and entertainment, and of course catching up with friends. FLASHER from the Gold Coast my old hash and WO WO again from the Gold Coast many many years ago, returning from the grave.
On On till next time.
On-On! B.B.