Monday again and when in Pattaya that means rolling with the PH3 so off to meet up and catch one of the baht buses.
On arrival at the Buffalo Bar I notice the awaiting bus is full up with hashers all looking keen for a day’s fun out in the wilderness that is east of the Sukhumvit. I was offered a seat by GING GANG GOOLIES squeezing in an extra space for the journey out to the A-site, I looked around at GI JOE who informed me that there will be another bus along so decided to wait due to GING GANG GOOLIES reputation at being a total nutter. The last bus arrives for collection of the last few runners and up rocks WANK-KING’S WANKER, it is at this point having only just read GANGREEN’s scribe from last week’s run and about the Bertie Bus that maybe my thoughts on GGG were a little harsh.
Well the usual baht bus small talk went on to the subject of the B word, BREXIT. It’s amazing the most people that are suffering from Remoaner Syndrome have the same physiognomies as those who suffer from Stockholm Syndrome but do not realise due to BBC programing.
On arrival at the A-site we all signed up and said our hellos to fellow hashers, at this point I approached our THE WIZARD to inform him that I will take him up on his offer from the previous week and be this week’s scribe. I then approached this small shady character who last week also made me an offer that I had turned down at the time and said to REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD, “I will see you on the Beer Hunter’s” because as well as being in shock from volunteering for the scribe it turns out my Achilles Heel is my Achilles Heel.
Today’s lone hare PRINCESS BUM BOY is called in to the circle and inform all as to the ins and outs of his trail, then I noticed a few hashers setting off early and headed off with the BH.
Anyway the Beer Hunters trail went well with banter about beer, watches, beer coolers and back to beer, RSB being the FRB of the BH, and on in to the A-site, after more banter THE WIZARD calls the 2nd circle.
Act 2: The 2nd Circle
First to be dealt with was the Hash Crash category, HARD ON and TWO TIME, well neither of these 2 wanted to keep their Hash Crash crowns so decided to create a new nominee and that victim was KNEAD who was tripped up and bundled into ditches twice and now we have a new Hash Crash.
Next on the agenda was lost property, a new pair of trainers and a pair of crocs, after nobody claimed these item ARSE BANDIT seized the moment and made out like a bandit to claim said items and an extra seated beer too boot, though he did refuse to drink this beer from his new shoes.
Then THE WIZARD called in our solo hare PRINCESS BUM BOY, the circle was asked to vote on the trail and it was voted a very good run, which was upheld by the GM, notably BALL RINGER got himself lost again on the trail, but this was only temporary as he was sat back in the circle.
The raffle was held next with BOB-A-GOB on ice for gobbing off to the GM, he then starts to take a series of selfie photos so then moved to the bucket where he could get more comfortable.
Winners including TWO TIME winning another wok, STEPTOE and BEN 10 who has been trained by his father to go straight for the wine, also LOST CAUSE and Nam one of today’s virgins.
The GM hands the circle over to WANK-KING’S WANKER for some awards, SIR ARSE-A-HOLIC gets his 800th Run shirt, TWO TIME receives her 40th Hare Shirt, and then WANK-KING’S WANKER calls in LORD CHICKEN FUCKER to share a moment on the ice together to share a beer with him to which LCF asked for his own beer. LORD CHICKEN FUCKER has completed 1,150 runs with the PH3 and WANK-KING’S WANKER has completed 450 sign ups, well done all of you.
Then back to THE WIZARD who hands the circle over to SPERM POLLUTER, who has thankfully gotten over his Reverse Tourette’s and back to his normal self of abusing everyone. So he ices last week hares THE WIZARD and SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE for laying a great hard trail on the previous run, and then puts BOB-A-GOB and PSYCHO STRANGLER butt to butt in the bucket so that they can continue their Bromance, then he invites some visitors on the ice who were HALF A DICK who travelled from a city called Lahore for 3 days just to run with the PH3 in a city full of whores and DEAD GUMP from Brazil who was over here because he just needed a break from starting fires.
Back to THE WIZARD and it's birthday time, it was balloon hats on all the ladies with 2 cakes for LOST CAUSE, then it was IRREGULAR PERIOD’s 66th birthday with no cake or balloons just ice and an extra beer which put a smile on the grumpy old gits face.
Then SEAL SUCKER, SPERM POLLUTER and HARD ON are ice until the circle was interrupted by the chatting of 3 Thai ladies who were duly placed in the bucket, and then it was onto the Wanker of the Week award currently held by GING GANG GOOLIES, with new contenders being BANANAS who was nominated by SEAL SUCKER, BOB-A-GOB and finally SEAL SUCKER for snitching on BANANAS, and the vote came in with a unanimous winner of BOB-A-GOB. Get the feeling he might hold on to this award for some time.
The hare’s song was by the one and only LORD CHICKEN FUCKER with a bastardisation of Annie’s Song as only he can do.
Last down downs followed by the Hash Hymn and the off to Nicky’s Bar in Soi Buakhao for some fine food and more cold beers, Thanks Debs.
On-On! Absolutely No Fucking Idea