I’m told the ‘A’ site was a new one (and certainly not one that I recall attending) in the area of ‘Pallet Lane’. Despite the wet ground and threat of rain, it was good to be back at Pattaya Hash after a longer break than I would have planned.
The first circle saw Hash virgins being welcomed, ‘New shoes’ being christened and the Hares delivering their Hare brief professionally. It appeared the Hares knew what they were doing, however Beetroot Head felt it was necessary to lead the pack out onto the trail. Could this indicate a lack of confidence in the ability of the Hashers? Should we believe their claims of “No hills” and “Well marked”?
The trail took us in an anticlockwise direction, across open areas, beneath canopy and up hills. (Hares lie guys). There were a couple of well maintained flower gardens apparently tended by Monks and it is worth looking through the photos on this website. The checks were well planned and I remembered that Beetroot Head had recently emerged from quarantine. He’d obviously spent his time watching Bear Grylls videos on how to trick FRB’s with backchecks. BH obviously learned well as he stymied us repeatedly , bringing the pack together on multiple occassions. Good job on the checks Hares.
Despite the trail being good underfoot, there were a couple of Hash crashes. G.I.Joe claimed to have been tripped with some kind of ‘snare’ that wrapped around both of his ankles (perhaps a Bear Grylls technique). Ball Ringer needed no such interference as he fell on open trail. Fortunately no serious injuries and they finished trail well.
Patpong received a well deserved Hash Hero award for repositioning shredded paper in areas to assist following Hashers. Excellent Hash behaviour. Don’t Squeeze My Balls was reunited with his folding chair and accepted the Hash Trash award happily.
VV was thanked for setting his one hundred and ninety ninth trail on PH3 this date. He was also thanked for preparing tasty sausage baguettes at the runsite.
Hashers were asked to appraise the trail. “Wonderful trail” (Mayo Queen). “Very good runners run” (G.I.Joe). “Good trail, great, beautiful” (Fukoff). “A trail that I’d like in Chiang Mai” (Taste My Buns (Visitor)). There were many more compliments with The Wizard GM stating “VV was obviously the brains behind it”.
Raffle winners were Snakebite, Stupid Kraut Cnut, Saurkraut Bone Collector, Popcorn Queen, Nat, Hans, Arse Von Hole and Belle (won twice).
Dirty Harry Potter received a Hash shit award for beer abuse.
Sperm Polluter (Awards) congratulated Lady Squeeze My Tubes who has attained 600 hundred runs on PH3. SP also congratulated Paprika Smiley for being a stalwart of Hash around the world and attaining 200 runs on PH3. Well done Hashers.
Scar with 2T’s welcomed the 2 Hash virgins and ensured they understood that PH3 is their mother hash. Crap Thai received a ‘Disco award’ for wearing gay-ters. Other awards included ‘Short cutters’ (Smiley Paprika, Blows Lewinski, Fukoff (who was running like a demon at times). “Cheap Bar Steward award’ to Sutpid Kraut Cnut for supplying sandwiches for the Beer Hunters, but no other Hashers. “Chatterbox awards’ to Something Stupid and Saurkraut Bone Collector.
The most prestigious Award, “Wanker of the Week” was won by Burl Ives. Ging Gang Goolies was mentioned for lost on trail and Paprika Smiley was acknowledged for supporting staff from Bar 19.
Lord Chicken Fcuker entertained the circle, Mr.Bean sang in place of the Hares and we were sang the Hash hymn. The On on on bar was Nicky’s Bar and Guesthouse where we treated to tasty food from Debby.
A good late afternoon and evening at the Pattaya Hash with a great trail, good food, laughter, singing and camaraderie amongst the Hashers. Let’s do it again next week. On On.
On-On! Crap Thai