Monday was the Valentines Day run for the Monday Hash. The A-site was at Bamroongs Flying Club not too far from town. When we arrived, the hares asked us not to park on the softball pitch. Some of the regular hashers were already there and Dr Pinky whom I haven’t seen in ages. The circle was called by our GM Spaghetti Head. He welcomed a virgin to the hash and then blessed some new shoes. Hares Miserable Cunt and Hell Boy in to tell us about the run. The usual white paper and red checks cattle dogs etc.
The run was an in town run through peoples back gardens, woods and some tapioca. According to the hares, there were 16 checks on the run but no FT’s, the front runners in after about 40 minutes. After one of Chicken Legs’ excellent hot dogs and a beer or two and darkness closing in, it was time for the GM to call the circle.
First we had the raffle organized as usual by Seaman Swallow. This week Timmy Tight Pants spent 1200 Baht on raffle tickets, wins 3 prizes and a seat in the bucket. Amongst the other winners were Tadpole, Free Willy, Bam Bam, and Fuzzy Lure. Then we had two anniversaries,Cheap Norgy Cunt 50 runs, and Rottweiler 350 runs, well done. The returnees and leavers were invited in for a drink. This week, we had two birthdays on the hash, Dr Dick who was born on Valentines day and the lovely Ewok. We had one visitor Long John Silver, from New Zealand who was too cheap to buy himself or his virgin a T-shirt and had his down-down on the ice. Another visitor Daglocks had no shirt either and received the same treatment.
On with the fun. Sir Airhead’s circle. He is wearing a home-made Valentines shirt with a pink heart on the front. He ices the hares. The A-site was good and so were the hash signs. Everyone liked the run except for Charlie Manson who said it was shit. The majority opinion prevailed however and it was judged to be a good run, well done hares. Charlie Manson gets hash permission to marry Charlie’s Bullet Hole. Arse Hopper is iced for leaving a banana skin in Fucking dog’s car. Charlie Manson then ices King YaoYao, Jello Butt, G.I Joe and Ice Cold Shot to show them his Tshirt with Bush and Hitler and the slogan “Same shit different asshole”. He then Ices Sir Frog and accuses him of dropping a water bottle on the trail and he gets hash trash.
The GM ices all the English and then gives the circle to Daglocks who founded the Oxford Hash. Who then ices the GM to thank him for inviting him to the run. Colonel Cornhole is iced for falling over on the trail. Charlie Manson gets the hash trash back from Sir Frog for dropping a cigarette butt in the circle. S.C.F ices Shit Through a Duck because he met him in Friendship Supermarket in the company of a large black lady with her Hair in beads. Then S.C.F and Redcoat sing “Underneath the Arches”. Blue Nose is iced along with his girlfriend. It turns out that she likes his nose up her arse whilst 69ing thus making it blue I’m surprised it isn’t brown. T4 has a heart problem but he won’t take the medicine because it would make his breasts grow and he can’t afford a bra. Stinky Sloppy Seconds, Greyhound, Jello Butt, and Ball Ringer are serenaded by Redcoat “My soggy Sombrero”. Seaman Stains ices Tossa, Banka Blower and Dr Dick and sings them a song about a Manhole. Instead of the hare’s Song we had some romantic music and couples dancing in the circle followed by the hash hymn and off to Jameson’s for food and drink, many thanks To Kim and his staff. Another memorable day on the hash.
On-On,
Seaman Stains