Run 1255 Monday 24th March
Well, my dear what do you think that we should do this afternoon. 'How about for a change we go on the Hash run, we have not done that for a while'. Yes a good idea now that it has stopped raining. Shall we go on the bus or drive. 'I think we should drive, remember the last time, that horrible groper, he would not stop. Had his hand on my bum all of the ride to the A site'. Ok I will drive the car out to the A site.
We got to the site after a pleasant ride. And there was the Chicken person and the Macaronni man, doing the sign ups. We paid our money and hung around while people started arriving. 'Isnt that man over there, that T4 person' Yes I think it is, I would recognise his nose anywhere. Some say that they designed the Concorde on T4. 'I always wondered where thay got that shape from'. And over there that looks like Miserable person. 'Dont you mean Cunt my dear, I dont mind you using that word in front of me. You allways used it in front of my mother'. Yes sorry about that. Oh look over there isnt that Sir Frog. 'Yes I think it is, but I cannot see his new bike. You do know that he as formed this new bike club. The Black Crabs, I think it is called'. I remember when I had a dose of the crabs once.
The GM comes in and calls the circle. 'I do not remember seeing this GM before dear'. Well they have a new one, he is called Spaghetti Head. Seems to be doing ok. 'He talks about virgins, you like those dont you'. I am a bit partial, yes. The hares VV and Mr Sheen tell us about the run and everybody gets ready for the off. Lucky I was not wearing my new shoes today or I would have to have some beer poured into them. 'Yes you would not have liked that, because you want to go the the disco later tonight'. And off into the jungle we all go. Front runners running at the front, and slow ones at the back. This is a nice pace for us in the middle of the run. 'Yes I remember when I was a front runner, but age does catch up on one in latter years'. Some nice checks, but these days it is easy. 'Yes I know my dear they break the checks so it makes it easy, not like in the old days'. Well eventually everbody starts to drift back in. Some drinking beer some drinking soft drinks, and some buying some of those good sausages. You like a good sausage my dear dont you. 'Well I have always liked sausage since I was sixteen years old, I cant get enough'.
The GM calls the circle after giving a three minute warning, because you do not want to belast and sit in the bucket. 'Yes my dear I would not like to sit in the bucket especially tonight, It's that time of the month, and it would make a mess'. We have a few anniverseries for those people that have been running for many years. We have leavers Redcoat and Blue Nose off to England. 'Yes my dear Blue Nose is a cab driver, I would not want to get into his cab with those shiftty eyes. And Redcoat sings in clubs, I suppose they must be real seedy places to let him on the stage'. And Charlie Manson and his new bride. 'Oh the poor girl, fancy going back home with him, what is the world coming too'. We then have the bad RA Sir Airhead, you like him my dear dont you. 'Yes he always reminds me of a real man, with those hairy arms, and his stature, we need more real men on the hash. Not like those Black Crabs who as you know go down Boys Town'. Sir Airhead seems to Like icing people , maybe that is why he is called the bad RA. 'Yes he could ice me any day, but I think he only likes the thai girls, not middle aged farang ladies like myself'. We then had Redcoat in to sing one of his songs, and he iced loads of people and then did his rendition of a wonderful tune. And then that strange man was brought in, was his name Retard Wanker. 'Yes my dear that was his name. And a very true name he has. A real wanker he is my dear. Apparently that is the only form of sex he gets these days. Did you know that his wife Tina Star as turned gay. She bought some Lesbian blue movies. And took a girl home to their little room that they live in. Poor Retard, he had to sleep in the bathroom while they had wild lesbian sex. He wanked himself silly, well even sillier than he already is my dear'. That is a shame. I understand that they have a child what effect that could haveon a young lad I have no idea. 'Well just you see it did not seem to affect Hell Boy, he turned out ok'. Well only just my dear. We then had that man Chicken in to do one of his crazy songs. 'I really like him my dear, a bit off the wall his stuff, it must be all that Chang beer that he drinks, but a fine upstanding man'. I am not too sure about that myself my dear. We did not have too much skin from the ladies tonight, and you know I like skin, dont you. 'Yes dear, and I know you keep telling me that I have too much skin, but that happens when you get to my age'. We then had the Irish baritone Shamous Stains come in andsing a song in a baritone sort of voice.'Yesmy dear I keep telling you to watch this lad, he could go far. I think he would do really good on American Idol'. You do know that the Olympics are coming up andthe GM had a Call from Lord Coe from England. Wanting to know if Free Willy could go back to England and represent them in the High Jump.'Yes I have been told that he is really good at that jumping, he always likes to have a jump'. Well it is time for the Hash Hymn, we really like to sing that song, dont we my dear. 'Oh yes I like all the actions and wonderful words, one of my favourite song of all time'. Well where shall we go after tonight my dear. Well I was thinking of Walking Street, and all those go go bars. I think that is the place for us. Not like those Black Crabs going down boys town. That should be stopped'. Well its good night from me and good night from her. 'Good night'.