Run Number 1256
So the bus arrives before the crowds, by the beach was lovely in the scorching mid afternoon sun and the motor on the bus was barely warm as it was so close to town.
There to greet the hashers were the Hares Scar with 2 T’s, No More Cum and Supervirgin. It was noted that Bottomless Pit was lying under the shade of the booze truck sheltering from the scorching sun and looking very much like a German hippy, which noticeably scared the female visitors.
GM calls the circle at which time the new shoe brigade were punished for the oversight and it is customary on the PH3 that the husband or boyfriend of the luckless Harriet takes the responsibility for the large down down. GI Joe however, was seen lurking in the shadows while the ever so dashing and chivalrous Knob Marley stepped in to save shameless GI Joe’s damsel from certain intoxication from Dr Chang which would only lead to more American x Thai kids to deal with.
The run was a series of checks which were cunningly scattered through a narrow stretch of farms and zoo’s between the Gulf of Thailand and the iron curtain of Sukhumvit Road. With such a large contingent of able Hashers, it soon became a checkathon, with the group scattered out over several kilometres and no paper in sight. Back on true trail it was anyone’s day with Missing Link, Fuzzy Lure and Sir Frog seen amongst the FRB’s on occasions. Walking was instituted more than usual due to the animals, for the cattle and elephants were thick. Mad Cow however, was seen slowing to a walk every time he seen a dog. The beer stop was a marvellous treat on a Monday Hash with even the most determined runner enjoying the moment…………all except for the over achieving FRB of Jello Butt, who incidentally was first away from the beer stop and on more than one occasion was seen running alongside the terrified cattle! The second half of the run was fast and furious soon hitting the beach for the hike back to the bucket. Two visitors Warm Piss and that other dickhead Toilet Brush (who incidentally introduced himself to the scribe as Bog Brush, strange fellow that!), were sprinting along the beach road being chased by the now dejected and under performing Jello Butt. True trail however, was on the sand and was only followed by the ever improving GI Joe who was hurling some SCB abuse to all and sundry, in which case for VV and Miserable Cunt, this was well deserved.
Back at the A Site, social drinking was encouraged and the newly formed Sheep Black (something like that), which has more secrets that the Stonecutters with covert winks and handshakes shared, whilst dining on gourmet fare washed down with three excellent bottles of Australian Shiraz at the rear of Miserable Cunt’s motor, which made Hell Boy resemble a pig in shit. Not to be out done, Karamba, Gay Wolf and Sir Frog ate so much of this secret fine cuisine that Sir Frog could not last for the circle and headed back to base to sleep it off. No More Cum on the other hand was seen dancing till dawn.
Back with the social drinking section, the Chicken store was doing a roaring trade and the capitalist Aussie Bob wheezed on another Romeo & Julieta Corona, whilst making no sense at all to the group that were trying to avoid him.
GM calls the circle and the Hares were iced along with the late cummers, who lingered a little too long admiring the spectacular sunset. Seaman Stains copped a public gob full (like, fu*#en idiot) from Seaman Swallow, for loosing their raffle ticket, go figure! It was a relief to see Fini released from the Belgium prison, though we doubt that his virginity is intact. That bloody idiot visitor Toilet Brush that brought some spooky shit into the PH3 circle that consumed so much time …………..F*CK OFF was the crowds sentiments! Sir Airhead suggested that VV, Karamba, Odd Job, Hell Boy and Knob Marley could be punished by the Thai Government for up to 5 years for hashing in their cheap army gear and we support the Government decision. King Yow Yow played up in Australia and the Queen has at least 27 new Aboriginal boyfriends. Fini with his big fat arse broke the ice. Paris’s boyfriend, Scar With 2 T’s had his chance as circle jerkell and punished the Toilet Brush, which we wont persist with. Aussie Bob down 2nd road at 130 k’s sounds like a hoot. Apparently, the sleeping Hedge was responsible for Scar With 2 T’s haring today, which is really useless information! Bottomless Pit, the infamous boozemaster who is ever diligent in soothing the hashers thirsts with the amber nectar of the god’s and apparently can walk on water like JC (he asked me to put that in), was showered with accolades for the cooler at the beer stop. Mad Cow however, complaining about warm beer, it is people like that that cause the rest of us to call them winging poms! CIA, the FRB…………..I don’t think so! It was nice of the GM to remind us that he is a redneck which now clears up the confusion.
OnOn
Sheik MeMe