Well it's funny how things work out is it not? Coming home at two o'clock this afternoon, and not from the night before - I might add, like some I know MEME!!! Two hundred yards from home the heavens opened and we got wet through. Note! no metric crap here! All my shoes are wet, the hair is a mess, and mascara is all over my face! Do I really want to get changed again, probably get wet again, and then get ”all shook up” on a Johnny Tralala tour of Pattaya for a second time in two days? I am still tired from yesterdays Jungle! I really fancy a bag of chips! That husband of mine, KNIEVEL, kicks me back into gear and we are back on the bike heading for town and the bus, with just five minutes to spare. It seems the weather has taken its toll as not many hashers appear to be there. Chatting to RSB and SQUEEZE MY TUBE the bus pulls up and as if by magic hashers appear from all over - nearly a bus full. Good to see the weather did not put these hardy hashers off.We arrive at the A-site in nice sunshine and before you know it, WILLY is calling the circle. Zeal Zucker is cordially invited to cool off in the bucket! Am I going to get wet again? Well, I do have a week to get all dry again. The run is explained and short cutters and walkers are advised to wait with VV while Joe leads the runners off in a gentle trot around the lake. Surprise, Surprise we come back up the other side of the lake to meet the walkers just past the A-site and ON ON we are truly off. I see STAD fly away with everybody else in hot pursuit. The first few checks keep us together - very clever checks I must say - as hashers are all over the place! Not all running I must add but, none the less all over! STAD finds another FT – as he is the only one that can do this!! No, I don't think so but, truly he does run! All the men are up the hill checking. Must be a macho thing, as clever Midnight Star and Mrs Head find paper down the hill. Off we goand down into a gully with plenty thorns, red ants, and those vines that grab you and will not let go. People seem to be all over - some in the gully, some to left top of it, and some to the right. Come on guys (you also JELLO BUTT) the paper is down here in the bottom. Back into tapioca again with another check! What are all these Norgy guys doing standing around? ON ON called tothe right and they are off!!! AH, they must be getting tired, yes they are, look they are short cutting across that field and lookwho is showing all his mates the waynone other than MUDCRACKER. I thought he was a fit, good looking young man, for a Norgy that is!!! Well, my opinion has changed now! I have a theory about this short cutting lark. When they were back in Norgyland many years ago – they stood on one side of the Fjiord and land was only 400 yards across the water and to go all the way around by land it was 15 miles - well they don’t want to run do they? and the water was too cold to swim in, so they were the first people to build boats - what good sailors we know they are but, what they invented, was the short cut that still sticks to this day! Well, at the PH3 it appears to be so! God, that was good to get off my chest!! Anyway, they all cleared off and left me to trot back in with Robbing Bastard and a soon to be named Try-A-F*ck,with whom I had some good friendly banter! Thanks boys.
Another Monday and yet again a wonderfull time had by all.
ON ON
Cabbage Flaps.
The Circle:
The GM, FREE WILLY, called the circle to order at exactly 6:30 PM and quickly iced FINI THE FAGGOT for being a loser! It seems that FINI left a bag of his belongings around the A-site area last week, in his haste to depart for Boy’s Town! Today’s hares, G.I. JOE, SQUEEZE MY TUBE, and VV were iced! A quick consensus showed that most runners enjoyed the run that the hares had set. Final judgment would be handed down later by the illustrious EMPEROR AIRHEAD.
SEAMAN SWALLOW conducted the raffle and filled the ice with noisy individuals – FINI THE FAGGOT, ARSE-HOLEO, and DANIEL BONE! The “GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER” family walked away with an armful of prizes (four in all)! Moral is – “you buy a fistful of tickets you can win an armful of prizes”! FREE WILLY won the “free run ticket” and chose to let it be raffled off again! BAM BAM won it this time to the dismay of FLIPPER. Awards were given to PIG PUSHER SWINE STABBER – 150 Runs, VV – 80 Hares (without a song – except one in French), and G.I.JOE – 5 Hares.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD entered and iced the hares! A good A-site, a good area, good signs, good paper lead to the run being declared “a great run” by the EMPEROR! Next on the ice were: HELLBOY, SHEIKH MEME, BOTTOMLESS PIT, and BEVERLY HILLS PINK COCK – stories were related about their driving adventures after last weeks run. Also, it seems that HELLBOY has told his parents that he now owns a Mexican Restaurant here in Pattaya. Mom and Dad will arrive next week to visit and sample his new “eating establishment”! Their experience may leave a little “egg on the face” of HELLBOY! Taco’s anyone!
FREE WILLY, once again, made light of FINI THE FAGGOTS – self designed – 300 Run Shirt. The GM also noted ARSE-HOPPER’S new virgin’s lack of a hash shirt – double down-down awarded. Returner’s, leaver’s, and visitor’s introduced. SIR CHICKEN F’R iced LIBERACE’s virgin – Henrik Heltberg and named him RASPUTIN. SCF’r continued and named Tony Boyce – TRY-A-FUCK! DIRTY HARRY and SHEIKH MEME iced for “hugging” each other in public (a Rule 6 violation). SCF’r thinks that the Black Sheep are possibly getting ready to change from the Black Sheep to the “Gay Sheep”.
SHEIKH MEME entered the circle and iced the hares. MUDCRACKER thought that the false trails were a little bit too short (only because of his long legs) and it was a short cutter’s run instead of a real man’s run! SQUEEZE MY TUBE explained that she has only short legs and that she was only off of “grade school” for two days to set and paper the run while G.I. JOE and VV sat under the shade of a coconut tree drinking beer and waiting for her to finish! FESTERING STREAKER was placed in the bucket for interrupting too many times during SQUEEZE MY TUBE’s dissertation of the run coordination activities! It seems like G.I. JOE and VV, just might be a little bit of “male show-vainest individuals” on this issue!
FOWL FUCK’R and ZEAL ZUCKER were both introduced to the circle - one as a Past Master of the Langkawi Hash and one as a perverted “sex tourist”! It’s your choice as to just who was who! FREE WILLY, SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD, DANEL BONE and TURD BURGLER were asked to recall their young days in the UK. They all lived within 500m of each other but, would never talk to one another! But, they did hold hands and carry each other’s books to school. Now, they all reside in Boy’s Town! SHIT THRU A DUCK and MUDCRACKER (a volunteer beer policeman) were given cold seats on the ice! MUDCRACKER complained that SHIT THRU A DUCK would not wait for him to catch up after the STAD had broken the check! It seems like MUDCRACKER is getting to be just like JELLO BUTT – he wants to be first to touch the truck after the run!
ARSE-HOLEO and KING YAO YAO were iced and welcomed back after long absences! Great to have you both back! Of course, ARSE-HOLEO had to occupy the bucket in the absence of REALLY SADISTIC BASTARDS brother – RETARD WANKER! CABBAGE KNIEVIL was iced for his hat – but, it was discovered to be a “true hash hat” from his home hash!
MUDCRACKER took over the circle and iced SHEIKH MEME, SHIT THRU A DUCK, ZEAL ZUCKER, and CABBAGE KNIEVIL (bucket) and all declared to be great hashers and true runners! STAD was indicated to have “jet propulsion” due to the food that VV serves at the Jungle Run!
The hares were iced – SQUEEZE MY TUBE and placed in the bucket – G.I. JOE and VV –for not having a hare song! The hare song was sung by BAM BAM and was a rendition of the old “Seven Dwarfs” song – Hi – Ho! SEAMAN STAINS selected many individuals to assist with the Hash Hymn! The bus slowly (only because SHEIKH MEME could not run faster to catch it, due to beer can overload) departed for tonight’s ON-ON at BJ’s Club – where taco’s were on a 2 for 1 special!