Correcting Run Records Policy

I knew what was coming up when the GM Seaman Stains walked up to me with a grin on his face before the bus arrived….would you be the scribe today? Of course, what an honor to do some scribbling of today’s action….I always wanted to be a reporter next to the action like a war, a fire, an accident, Watergate or Tiger Wood’s and his mistresses….but only made it to be an Economist who make predictions:
Here are my predictions for the Hash in 2010:
1. Inflation: Be sure there is some, the Americans are printing money, even Emperor Airhead installs a money printing machine at the back of TQ1 to make some extra cash….therefore the beer price will go up. Remedy: either drink till you drop in the first half so you won’t suffer from higher prices or if you are smart buy 5 refrigerators and stuff them full with copious amounts of Lao, Leo, Sing or Chang etc etc. You might be either sell them for a higher price in the second half or enjoy them yourself with your mates or donate them to the Hash Brew master if you are generous…
2. Unemployment: If you are unemployed – Remedy: save money and go to beach road for some extra fun at your budget. If you’re employed –No Remedy: just continue to visit the Hash bars order beers and spend your cash for lady drinks and ringing the Bell…. Don’t save money (reference to 1.)!
3. Interest Rate: Yes, it is low. Therefore, buy or build a house (like Spaghetti Head did), borrow money, put it in the name of your wife (Thai) and that will increase your status and gives your Thai family a safe place to stay, forever, even after the divorce a bit later.
4. Wealth Management: Hasher’s are poor….don’t buy no gold, you can’t eat it…invest in some stock of beer (reference 1.) because beer can be sold at higher prices later and you can enjoy it even by yourself or with your mates.
Happy New Year to everyone and Keep Hashing to the Max in 2010 !!

The Run:
After the GM Seaman Stains calls the first Circle and the usual proceedings dealing with new shoes and virgins, today’s hares Fucking Dog, Stinky Sloppy Seconds and The Corpse give some explanation on the run and off the pack goes directly into the first bush and onto Canal Grande (looked like Venice in Pattaya) over the wooden bridge to the first check. Solved quickly and the trail leads through some tapioca fields and some coconut palm groves mainly staying on sandy trails…After some clever checks which kept the pack together we came to a more difficult check which took time to solve and made even the walkers catch up with the usual FRB’s STAD, Mud Cracker and Dr. Hobble Along Cabbage Knievel. All in all it was a good run well recced and laid with clever checks, enjoyable for everyone. Such an improvement to Fucking Dog’s run during last years rainy season where everybody drowned (remember that?).
After some time at the scenic A-site in the palm grove with some peacocks in the distance most hasher were attacked by some nasty mozzies but held out till the GM Seaman Stains called the second circle and put the hares Fucking Dog, Stinky Sloppy Seconds and The Corpse on the ice. And there was this black dog who found the arsehole on the ice…Now we know why his name is Fucking Dog…Good efforts by the hares rewarded with a little drink…Next was Ewoks lucky numbers charge with STAD (3x), Lance my Arse a lot (2x), No More Cum, Bow Wow, Bam Bam, Try a Fuck and Stinky Sloppy Seconds emerging to be this weeks winners. Next is RA Emperor Airhead in the Circle with some charges and beware the bucket boys, if the Emperor is in charge it might get icy for the noisy ones…Hares on the ice again, they really look alike those Hares….one of a same kind….anyway a good effort, nice A-site, clever check and no-paper abuse. Next was Flipper and the hot dog crew in the Circle for a reward…and Sir Chicken Fucker who claims to be the headmaster but doesn’t have a clue about the art marinating and sizzling a tender peace of meat. Next on ice are the bikers Karamba, Hellboy, Lone Wolf and Sheik Me Me which proves that you can pick up a nice lady with a cool riding machine only Sheik MeMe could not impress the TQ1 and beach road ladies with his scooter so he goes home alone, though drunk and happy as usual. The Circle passed back to the GM who ices the Returnees: Karamba, Dizzy, Mud Cracker, T4 and Lance my Arse a lot and some others as well as 2 Virgins and their Sponsors. Leaver’s this week are Dog Lick’s its Dick and No More Cum who reports back to his home fire brigade in England and promises to be back in March. Next on ice Fucking Dog again who by reversing his car hits and damages a tree – Hash Crash of the Week. The Anniversaries this week were: Muffin (50 Run Mug), Timmy Tight Pants (100 Runs) and Ballringer in for his 250th Run. Well done! Next in the Circle is RA Sheik Me Me with some charges: Lance my Arse a lot and Drippy for talking in the Circle must bite the ice….Next on ice Lone Wolf the gentleman and King Yao Yao who fell down and generously helped up on his feet. Now his life expectancy is 10 years more. Next on ice is Robbing Bastard who emerges to be the Pattaya Hash Moaner during recent weeks. Then on ice and for a drink is Doesn’t touch the Sides and GM Seaman Stains who appointed him as the new Rags Administrator. Thank you for volunteering for the job! Next on ice Hellboy and Miserable Cunt, the look a like twins for some sailor awards…Tampax as the visiting GM of the Bush Hash makes an announcement on a special Bush run this Saturday the 9th Jan and downs a beer for that. And in the Circle is RA Sir Chicken Fucker with further charges: A case of Child labor on Arse-A-Holic and Arse Hopper who let little Jessica work on their behalf as Beer Policemen….shame on you….daddy’s little helper! Next were Golden Dildo and Bruce a virgin from Canada as Mountain Police up for a drink on ice. Followed by T4 and his new live in room mate Tuck for being either gay or bisexual, sharing the ladies as they please. Next on ice is Scary Pussy, well is she really scary? You better ask her husband, he will know. Then it was a rare visitor on ice Swedish Meathead, once a regular hasher until he married n disappeared. Now he’s back and divorced and checks out the ladies in the bars as a secret undercover policeman. As the hares failed to present us a song Mr. Music Sir Chicken Fucker amuses with a bewildered version of an old Pink Floyd rhythm. Last, RA Sheik MeMe and the GM get some goody two shoes in with dry bums for the last down down on ice: STAD, Cabbage Patch etc etc.. The GM and fellow Hash Brigadiers conducting the Hash Hymn and it was OnOn to Classroom II for Happy Hour!!!