Down-downs for virgins and new shoes including toe shoes...... and we are away to the first ‘pink’ check and then the second GI JOE manfully shouting On On, FINI THE FAGGOT repeatedly remarked upon the ‘nice colour of the checks’ to Alex Heldenbergh whom he ran with for the whole trail and is presumably his new bitch. SLIPPERY ARSE tangles in the undergrowth a little before a handful of FRBs arrives at an FT only to find MISERABLE CUNT a handful of cracks (incl. SQUEEZE MY TUBE) waiting and not a drop of sweat between them, it seems they came at the check from the opposite direction. The FT is a very long way from the last check and we must assume this is a backcheck and act accordingly, mutterings as to the hare being COLONEL CORNHOLE and thereby all is explained. Three hundred meters back and the trail is already found by SIR FROG and I am now way back in the pack but eventually overtake HELLBOY for the second of the six times I do so on the run, how does he do that? Now VV is running more and not SC as much, is HELLBOY now the lead SCB? We are going through tapioca fields wholesale and sinking to the ankles yet tracks are available adjacent, more muttering as to the COLONEL being the hare, yet the run is relatively fast over open tracks for the most part. Towards the end of the run we reach a legend inscribed in 12 inch pink capitals on the earth “RUN FASTER U CUNTS” and a little later “ON IN” which turns out to be a prelude to ON DOWN into a Gravel Pit and an immediate 30ft climb out – just for fun – KING YAO YAO gives me his hand for a boost over the rim of the pit and we trot around the edge to the A site on the far side.
The Circle
SEAMAN STAINS: ices the hares COLONEL CORNHOLE and SAME SAME crop abuse is loudly touted, opinion is good run but could do better. Raffle winners are TORPEDO TITS, MARRO and STUPID KRAUT KUNT.
SIR AIRHEAD: ices the hares, good A site, good run, pity about the snake, although suggestion it was the COLONEL’s snake (Junior) that set the run given its IQ is the higher of the three. Ice and the bucket for the Yankee virgins of USS George Washington, Septics immediately discover that the bucket cubes tend to disappear up the crack and it seems ‘they like it’ AIRHEAD quote US policy “don’t ask don’t tell”, SIR CHICKEN “it’s not the first occurrence of something disappearing up an arse on the USS George Washington”.
SEAMAN STAINS: returnees into circle KIDNEY WIPER, STAKEOUT, NA HEE MAN, FERRY QUEEN, KATOY MASTIBATOR, SKINNY DICKS BITCH, Alex Heldenbergh, +1. Virgins into circle. Leaver CHICKEN HUNTER. 50 run mug SLIPPERY ARSE, 100 Runs CRACK MY COCCYX, 350 runs FINI THE FAGGOT. 800 runs KING YAO YAO. Birthdays FERRY QUEEN, BANGKA BLOWER, 400 runs for MIDNIGHT STAR. ZEAL ZUCKER iced for wearing jacket, being a Kiwi he was trying to remember what it’s like being inside something warm and woolly. ROBBING BASTARD double down-down for breathing difficulties and/or enjoying sex on the run. FERRY QUEEN enjoys the bucket for talking.
SIR CHICKEN FUCKER: advises in his official capacity of Religious Adviser that there is no god and parades the circle wearing the COLONEL’s snake looking for a likely Eve to engage in disintercourse on the subject. CHICKEN HUNTER iced for cruelty to endangered species (chicken) as its better to fuck them than kill them it seems, snake is inserted in CHICKEN HUNTER’s ear and then arse as a warning to leave SIR CHICKEN’s family alone. Junior’s official residence is in SAME SAME’s flange, all fan mail to be appropriately addressed. Ray Ban’s found on run that gives the wearer the power to see through women’s clothing, many potential owners found, but ultimately consigned to next week’s raffle. TURD BURGLER iced for liking men with tits – true. Wearing the magic Ray Ban’s TURD BURGLER gives a fair impression of the Pattaya Amateur Rapist, although it’s a pity his dick is smaller than most Katoeys. TORPEDO TITS runs screaming across the circle followed by Junior it appears Junior gets to eat a live hamster every day and TORPEDO TITS has similar in her shorts, or was he just homesick? USS Washington contingent again on the ice and bucket and are now competitively launching themselves from height into the bucket in order to pick up the most ice cubes in their cracks and get the deepest ‘violation’, it obviously works for them. CHICKEN suggests the cubes are lubricant for boyz town visit later in evening albeit KY works better, whatever, Captain Pugwash and his crew are going down to roger the cabin boy. SEAMAN SWALLOW interrogated as to why so large, baby perhaps / swallowed too much? SEAMAN STAINS confirms he’s been drained, SWALLOW deposits her liquid upon CHICKEN as she leaves the circle. FERRY QUEEN in bucket (does he float) for giving money to his girl Yuparhe, RSB and MISERABLE on ice for talking.
SEAMAN STAINS: Yankee sailors volunteer to drink remaining down-downs and spontaneously sing a patriotic, gay song whilst COLONEL CORNHOLE chants ‘Death to America’. Hare song from SEAMAN STAINS. FERRY QUEEN and SKINNY DICKS BITCH on ice for talking.
ON ON STEPTOE