Well here we are, its Monday which means it PH3 day, back to my old job doing sign ups as Pussy Snatcher is away.
It’s also the 4th of July, American Independence Day and as the Yanks at the run said, it’s the day they celebrate kicking the whinging Poms out and telling them to piss off back to where they came from if they don’t like it there, something we have been doing in Australia for 200 years.
Due to the fact it’s American Independence day our hares today are Sir Spag and G.I. Joe, and we are a bit further out of Pattaya, in the hills between Sattahip and Bang Chang, as Emperor Airhead put it, it’s nice to be somewhere different pissing off an entirely new set of Thai farmers.
Talk of awarding hash shit or at least 50% hash shit was strong while we awaited the arrival of the bus, as it seemed that one of the hares riding the bus (G.I. Joe) had no idea where the A-site was and headed for Spags abode where he tends to lay runs from. The bus finally arrived after an animated telephone conversation between the hares that you could hear from 100’s of metres away, it went something like “NO go back past the temple and turn right and keep coming till you see the f@#king HHH signs”
By all reports the run was the usual exemplary display of haring, with paper laid and overgrowth trimmed with military precision. The only miscreant that had a problem with the Red White & Blue paper was Miserable Carnt who went in the only direction that the hares were told they could not go and was escorted at gun point out of the area by the Thai farmer who owned it.
Pre circle entertainment was provided by Sweetie (our brewmaster for the day) trying to reposition the beer truck lighting, this display of Thai female intelligence was being enjoyed by nearly a dozen hashers standing back sipping their beers and watching in amazement.
Circle called by the GM and the hares on in, plus yours truly to join them for suggesting at the last meeting, that we punish the hares too much, I was let off the ice for agreeing that G.I. Joe deserved to be iced for f@#king up and losing half the pack before they even arrived at the A-site.
Raffle conducted by the GM and the now red headed Seaman Swallow, only 2 winners this week, Seal Sucker, who now has 3 new shirts and Crazy Pussy who thinks that Horse is an even bigger cheap charlie after she won the 1,000 baht 1st prize, that being 2 months allowance for her normally.
Emperor Airhead recently returned from Norway, on in and ices the new bad dad in town Colonel Cornhole, but he doth protest, he claims the child is not his, as it looks like a 4kg female version of Free Willy, the circle offers the bad dad such advice as, run now while you can, see a lawyer and man up and take your own life while you still can. He then ices G.I. Joe and enquires as to how he could lose the bus and he and Spag offer up some bullshit about drinking coffee and coming the back way ??? judging by the bruises on Spags arse, I think I know who was cuming in the back way.
The GM then allows all of the Americans to celebrate their day with a seat on the ice, Emperor Airhead then very cleverly extracts himself from the ice by offering to give us a history lesson and proceeds to tell us some tripe about being friends with the frogs, who appreciated actually having a friend for the first time, by giving the Yanks a big bronze statue which they hated and tried to send it back, but the frogs wouldn’t pay the freight, only for the yanks to erect it years later when the frogs weren’t looking.
Skippy on in and ices KAM and Miserable Carnt, he suggests that these 2 hashers have the wrong names and switches them for the night, the new KAM (MC) is happy about it, because he thinks he has inherited a new good looking GF (KAM’s) and spends the rest of the circle complaining that his GF is hanging out with that fat whinging MC (KAM), Skippy then explains that he believes the former MC has developed a liking for Katoys, but couldn’t call him Katoys Blow Best because that name was already taken as well.
Well I could drag this on forever, but I don’t want everyone to fall asleep and it would take longer to read than the circle lasted, but I will finish by adding that the hares provided some fire works and they were rightly or wrongly given to the appropriately named Wank-King's Wanker who stood back behind the circle and proceeded to shoot fireworks above the circle, barely missing our heads by mere metres and disrupting several RA’s with all of the noise.
The Hares rapped up their duties with a somewhat short version of We No Likee British Sailors, Yankee pay $5 more.
Hash hymn to conclude the circle and the lazy pack departs.
On On
Bam Bam