Why Bob Geldof and Boomtown Rats don’t like Mondays must be because they don’t hash with the Pattaya Hash House Harriers!!!! Or???
Well, this monday started (or rather ended) as usual, waiting for the Black Pearl to arrive at soi 13/1, to take us hashers out to our next hash-destination. And she came!
This A-site was one of the most beautiful places I’ve seen. The hares today, V.V and Tampax, had made an about 8 km long run. The sky was blue clear and it was very hot. Much sun, little shade.
Today I decided to walk. Walk all the 8 km, but someone cheated me and at the end I only made a 3 km walk L Ok, it was rather good, but a little bit too short for me. When we came back to the beautiful A-site many people already sat nicely, well organized, in a little ring around V.V’s BBQ-table. They all looked like nice small schoolboys sitting and waiting for the teacher to be finished You could not believe that this was old, grumpy (very hungry) hashers!
As always when the circle starts, the hares are put on the ice. GM thanks them for a great run and they can drink their down downs. Then the beer master, Bottomless Pitt takes over with his lottery. He tells that GI Joe has donated an exclusive clock for this special occasion. But……??? Didn’t GI Joe win this clock last week????
However, I must mention, I won the big 2 liters of red wine!!!!! Yeah, thank you Squeeze my tube for selling me this lottery!!! And it goes on…. Emperior Airhead gets the circle and takes in the virgins, they were 5 of them at the start, but only one of them enters the ring!!!! Did the other ones get lost in the jungle??? Oh no….. after the down down, 2 wonderful, sweet kids, 6-7 years old, enters the ring and tells us they also are virgins, Stephanie and Jessica! Very cute!
And the next cutie entering the ring was meeeee……! Airhead really must love my baking because he takes me in to the ring and honors me for the cake. Ok, I had to share the moment with some other bloke Rear Gunner because of some cheeses L When Wang King’s Wanker took the circle he rewared Bengt Potato for achieving 100 runs for the PH3. Great! But what I understood this was for over 1 year ago??? Well, he must have tried to stay away of one reason or another, but you can never avoid the PH3 and our desire to drink a down down for someone that has achieved something great!
Leavers were put on the ice, B.B and Stupid Kraut Kant, and as a surprise, me (Sexy Bum) and Pussy Whipped. Now I realize, a leaver is someone who is NOT on the hash next time! Even if you’re only busy with something else and not actually are going to leave. But, we got free down downs, so it was ok. Next time when we come back, we are returners! That means more down downs?
Next on the schedule – visitors on the ice! Two of them, guys from Jebel, Oman, didn’t want to sit on the ice with bare skin because of cultural differences. Hmmmm…..! I didn’t understand that at all.
They come to Thailand, take their pants of for all the girls (or boys), and they can not sit on the ice with bare skin??? What’s the difference? Well, Wang King’s Wanker is a very understanding and intelligent man, so he made them choose; sit on the ice with bare skin or in the bucket! One chose ice, one chose the bucket. In all of this, Ganggreen walks in the circle and put his pale ass on the ice. He had got a red card from the chief inspector, Mental Disorder, for disturbing the circle. Maybe Ganggreen should stay with being a scribe?
The last week there was a big hash in the Philippines and several of the hashers were there. B.B got the circle and put those guys on the ice; E.T, Testicles, Seal Sucker and the Jebel-men. Then we all got a really nice story about the Phillipino-hash and the true story of why Crazy Pussy was washing E.T’s underwear.
After that B.B puts all gentlemen (who are they?), over the age of 55, on the ice. Surprisingly, not so many as I thought it would be, but they did fill all the ice-seats. Then he asked the men, with wifes/girlfriends over 30 years of age, to leave the ice. Two geezers left! And the winner in age-difference was (of cause!): Sugar Daddy! I think B.B needed this for his own self esteem. This was a league he wanted someone else to win. Sugar Daddy was celebrated with a down down song from us all!
Now it’s getting late and it is the beginning of the end. And since the hares were on the ice at the beginning of the circle, V.V has been sleeping in his chair most of the time.
He must have had a very hard day with a tough run, much sun and all food-catering. But now it’s time for GM to put the hares on the ice again. Tampax shuffles in and sits on the ice, but where is V.V??? Of course still very heavily sleeping! What to do? Well, there are many strong men on the hash, so some of them just lifted V.V up and put him on the ice. But he couldn’t sit on his own, he constantly slipped off. Solution? The garbage can became his salvation!
GM Scar with two T’s is a man who doesn’t like to be scammed. And when he is, he puts people on the ice. That’s why both Sugar Daddy and Pussy Whipped was put on the ice. And because Pussy Whipped is Pussy Whipped he ended up in the bucket! Why break a fine tradition?
I don’t know if Scar and Wang King’s Wanker are a little bit afraid of me being a scribe with so much ice-power, but they didn’t want me to have the circle, I had to remind them that I was presents!!! Well, next weeks scribe is going to be Kiwi Seal Sucker! The hares had been foresighted (I’m thinking of V.V sleeping) and let Honeybear perform with a nice hare-song. Thank’s Honeybear for let us avoid having to hear the other two singing!!!
And a very big thanks to Squeeze my Tube for serving me a very god papaya-salad. It made me to a very bad scribe today. Eating and writing in the same time out in the hash is not at good combination.
On-On! Sexy Bum