Well, how do I write a scribe report this week that will make my Grandma, Granddad, and my hashing friends as proud of me as we are of last week’s scribe “CABBAGE PRINCESS”! It should be relatively easy – due to the fact “that, if a 6 and a ¼ year old school girl” can use the “F- word” it should be ok for me to use it! I believe that CABBAGE PRINCESS has been listening too attentively to the GM’s language when he has the circle! If he didn’t use the “F-word” he would have to control the circle with “sign language”! As for now – get the soap ready to wash my mouth out Grandma!
One last glance at the computer directions to today’s run and off we go! I know exactly where the A-site is – as we’ve been there many times during the past couple of months! Well, there’s LIBERACE already parked under the large shade trees with his air conditioner running full blast! What is he doing here so early? F—k its TAMPAX and not LIBERACE! Damn, I thought I just saw an HHH sign pointing down to the water area about fifty or so meters back! Can’t be down there – as TAMPAX does the web-site and prides himself on “perfection of direction”! Something is “F-d up! Sure is – the hares have changed the A-site! As HORSE arrives with today’s hares in tow the situation is temporally corrected!
Is the A-site problem rectified or is it going to bite someone later? We all know that “The EMPEROR” likes new areas that are quiet and without interference from outsiders! Who invited the forty or so people who are fishing, swimming, washing their car’s etc.. So much for tranquility, peace, and quiet! Just think of how “F’n hot it would have been if there wasn’t any cloud cover today? All that shit aside (I guess I can say “shit” – can’t I?) No! Well, it looks like I “F’d up again! What’s new! On-On with the real hash news and issues!
Signups conducted today by G.I. JOE and his younger sister “WENDY – the BALL RINGER”. It is always nice to see returning members of the Pattaya hashing family! Where else would you find the likes of: MY GIRLFRIEND KNOWS I’M GAY, holding hands with WARM PISS, while they watch CHEAPER THAN MEME swan dive into HELL BOYS shallow swimming pool, from the 3rd level of the water fountain! All of this happening under the watchful eye of GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER assisted by your GM, WANKING’S WANKER!
Tonight’s raffle prizes were selected and purchased by SWEETIE! The raffle was conducted by G.I. JOE assisted by SQUEEZE MY TUBE. Among the winners were: CRACK MY COCCYX, SUZI WONG, BANANA’S, EMPERIOR AIRHEAD, and GKW.
EMPERIOR AIRHEAD filled the ice with tonight’s hares: THE DISORDER FAMILY, SEXY BUM, and her PUSSY WHIPPED trash collecting gardener “who entertained himself, for five hours, by picking up beach trash” while the other three hares busted their “asses” expertly setting the run. Take note V.V. and TAMPAX – this is exactly what a third “volunteered hare” should be used for! Can anyone enlighten me as to why “more than two hares” are needed to set any normal one hour or less weekly Pattaya hash run?
The Norwegian hares from last week’s “World Renowned, Pattaya Norwegian Run” were congratulated and thanked for their yearly Norwegian Run efforts. Great job again guys and gals! EMPEROR AIRHEAD took a short break to instruct HELL BOY the proper procedures for doing pushups! While demonstrating these instructions to the audience, EMPEROR AIRHEAD injured his arm – thus conceding the contest to HELL BOY. This contest will be renewed upon completion of rehabilitation sometime in 2045!
Past GM, HELL BOY took the circle for a professed 10-15 minute timeframe! All old time hashers knew that this time would overlap to 30-40 minutes and started placing their bets! After NIGHT RIDER and LIBERACE explained their past employment ordeals of working in a mortuary (really cool quiet place) and as a Ghost in a Haunted House (cool ghoul)
WANKING’S WANKER was awarded the coveted Hash Trash Award for discarding a (that’s correct) one F’N cigarette butt on the ground! What really made “THE HULK” excessively angry was that PUSSY WHIPPED was on his hourly “trash collector” break and couldn’t be found anywhere so that he could pick it up! Good dependable workers are hard to find now a days!
Enter now, victims for the bucket – BANANA’S for having “lockjaw” and the inability to sing! WARM PISS – just for being WARM PISS! SIR MC- gets a seat on the ice for ordering tons and tons of food and never getting around “to eat it” and/or was that not paying for it? Yes, and now HELL BOY is over his allotted circle time limit – turns the circle over to the GM and hauls ass by spinning his wheels for over fifty feet on the loose sand and gravel! We were really impressed! I bet his new lady was!
The last down-downs are finally consumed (thank G0D)! The Hash Hymn has been doily murdered and the Beer Wagon is on the move towards Pattaya! It’s been a great hashing day! See everyone next week!
On-On! Sir Spaghetti Head