The scribe report for today will primarily consist of events which have happened exclusively on today’s Pattaya Monday H3 run! I would be remiss if I did not take a small amount of time to mention this weekend’s outstanding hashing event – “THAI NASH HASH 2014”. This event was attended by over “185 worldwide traveling hashers” – who came from “near and far” to support Hashing and the hashers who “organize, plan, and put on these event’s”! A great weekend was had by all!
The organizing /Mismanagement committee included: Bam Bam, Absolutely F’n Clueless, Pussy Snatcher, Bangka Blower, Mrs. Head, Mental Disorder, and Horse. I would like to personally “thank everyone” who attended and supported this “Outstanding” event! The only “hiccup” if you want to call it one – was that 13 kegs of beer were returned to the distributor unopened! An “Outstanding” job! Thanks for your hard work and meticulous planning! ON-ON!
Mrs. H and I arrived early at the “familiar and well used” Monday A-site, only to find it occupied by campers! A closer look reveled that it was not campers who had taken over the area, but today’s hares: V.V. and FINGERLESS accompanied by our “always reliable” beer master’s – SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT and SWEETIE! V.V’s personal chauffeur TAMPAX was also parked up onsite. Additional, “emergency” racks of beer were stowed“ in the shade” under the beer truck due to the anticipated onslaught of those “bastards” from Australia!
BALL RINGER and LIBERACE were at their normal signup and “money collection stations” earlier than I’ve ever seen them before on a Monday night! The “cattle cars” from Pattaya began to arrive at the site at 15:55 – which was absolutely F’n amazing to say the least! I just bet those “Aussie Bastards” hijacked the busses and were holding the drivers for ransom! Rumor is that GAS MAN organized and planned everything!
While waiting for the transports to arrive SIR FREE WILLY was wandering around the circle looking for someone to talk to. Finding only PELER and JACKAL alone and standing close to the water’s edge SFW joined them. Of course, PELER had nothing to say and just stared at the sand and JACKAL was engrossed in a “heated conversation” amongst his friends SFW raced to his best buddy – SIR REALLY SADISTIC BASTARD to talk about the latest news in Jolly Ole England!
The first circle was called to order by WANK-KING'S WANKER who promptly got every ones attention by putting CABBAGE HEAD, PUSSY SNATCHER, and BARNACLE BOLLOX in the bucket. Once order was restored the Virgin was introduced and welcomed to the hash. The hares explained the run markings and sent the runners out over the small rise/hill which was used to enter the A-site. A sharp left hand turn on the dirt road put them onto today’s run start. The run went thru a variety of Thai farmland, trees, dirt trails, and mountain views. The scenic, one hour, run finished with a refreshing run/walk thru the water area return to the A-site. The overall opinion of the run was OUTSTANDING! But, we would not expect anything but and outstanding run from V.V. and FINGERLESS! Great job guys!
After some food, a cool down period, and a few drinks the 2nd circle was called to order by the GM. The raffle was then held with numerous different winners (too many to individually list). We would like to thank all those individuals who purchased tickets for the raffle!
EMPEROR AIRHEAD entered the circle and thanked the hares for a job “well done”! He, then proceeded to fill the ice with NIGHT RIDER today’s Hash Crash, KARAMBA – the expectant dad, B.B. and NORIEGA – for putting tender young females on the ice many years ago, and once again NIGHT RIDER – the EMPEROR must have scared “the hell” out of him – because he promptly left the circle after being released from the ice! No doubt this will be revisited more next week!
Awards were presented to PELER – who was still engrossed in the view from the water’s edge; LADY FLIPPER – 550 RUNS; HONEY BEAR – 100 RUN – SHIRT; BARNACLE BOLLOX – 150 RUNS; MENTAL DISORDER – 2O HARES; NIGHT RIDER – was to receive his 100 RUN MUG – but, he F’d off early!
At this point and time in tonight’s program the scribe, SIR SPAGHETTI HEAD, experienced a “senior moment”! No, he didn’t mess his pants (front or back) he only forgot he was tonight’s scribe and F’d off mentally (which is not hard to do at his age of 70 years and 200 days). Because of this, he is not completely responsible for the remaining contents of this scribe!
NORIEGA – commandeered the circle and proceeded to fill the ice and bucket with drunken Aussie’s. He then proceeded to attempt to correct a somewhat fictitious swimming pool adventure which was witnessed by many! He said it happened this past Saturday night! Frank, 3 o’clock in the AM makes it Sunday Morning! Your case is deigned as it seems you lied! Wrong day! The Aussies win!
WANDERING ROVER of Lagos Hash, I believe, was running around the circle attempting to entertain us with a song. Then GAS MAN and the Aussie’s had a petition to “hang ARSE-HOLEO” but, it failed! I do slightly remember the Hash Hymn being “butchered” and GAS MAN leading the Aussie singers in the final song of the evening!
SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT – It’s time to wake up and go home!
Another great hash run is now history! We hope that you enjoyed it! Thanks to all visitors for attending! Until next time be safe!
On-On! Sir Spaghetti Head