“And Monday is a Hashing Day”. Oh yes, it is: it’s 14:30 and IM LAO pushes me to get ready to move to the Buffalo Bar. I feel dizzy. Only two Germans had arrived: JACKAL and NEXT WEEK (but they lost the war).
At 15:30, three baht buses and STREET CLEANER with motorbike (to pick up those who fall off a bus) take off to the A-Site (I wonder where it will be this time). I’m getting nostalgic for the Black Pearl and Johnny Tralala. But you cannot live in the past...
From the last five days, I spent four on hashing. Saturday we had the Beach Social 2015 on the beach in Bang Saray, with a super BBQ from SPERM POLLUTER and CASPAR. Everybody was jealous of my swimming trousers. Well later on the ice, this will come back, I’m afraid … Later in that evening, the alcohol made me lose some brain cells (or was it something else?) again in Soi 6.
…
We arrive at a beautiful A-Site with swimming horses. Unfortunately there is no paper report from last week, but I have the report from the week before to help me with some Hash names.
Before the run starts, the GM mentions about private messages for SIR BOTTOMLESS PIT, christens the shoes from IM LAO (like the weeks before), welcomes one virgin and then the Hares explain the run with checks and backchecks. I short-cutted a lot and came in after 50 minutes with MRS HEAD and “bucket ticket”. Just at that moment, one of the bath buses arrives with some drunks on board (hihi, why not...). After 65 minutes, the FRB's arrive: 1) BEETROOT HEAD 2) ROTATE HER LATER 3) NO MORE CUM. MARATHON MAN was also in front. I hear something about 8.81 km.
After the run, everybody went to the 5 star restaurant of Super VV, who sold his whole store out. The cracks are eating in their own restaurant. PAPRIKA SMILEY gave some folks something to drink, while he was smoking some horse shit that he could buy for 3 baht from TURD BURGLAR. He called it a cigar. Some others (GOLDEN COCK for instance) enjoyed the swimming pool like the horses, when we arrived. The Beer Police were FINGERLESS and OUT OF ORDER.
It’s getting 18:35 - NO MORE CUM ices the hares: SCAR, POCAHONTAS, RUNNING BARE and LITTLE WHITE DOVE. It will be remembered as a Runners Run with an ideal location. The Raffle is a Willly’s Job. Some winners were LINEAR ACCELERATOR, “BUCKET TICKET”, STREET CLEANER, REDCOAT, SQUEEZE MY TUBE, OUT OF ORDER, GANGREEN, IM LAO, STUPID KRAUT KUNT, GENERAL KIDNEY WIPER. SCAR was iced for coming in with a wrong number. I would say: you can only try. One thing was sure: the Kentucky Jack, the Maldini Bianco and the Smirnoff Vodka were first sold out. There were other beautiful prizes like a pink fan for the most gay of the winners, a pot to exterminate rats. Thank you SIR FREE WILLY.
And now it’s getting serious : RA EMPEROR AIRHEAD enters the circle to ice the Hares and to ask SPAG, REDCOAT, ANTIQUE about the baht bus with the drunk ones who found some cheap beer somewhere.
WANK-KING'S WANKER had the honour to ice the EMPEROR and congratulate him for his 1300 Runs (well, at least sign-ups). Can you imagine how great that is? With the tempo I join the hash, I need to become 243 years to reach that number. All the respect for the EMPEROR! Every week again: entertaining the circle! You have to do it!
The WANKER also iced STREET CLEANER, with the help of interpreter VV, to congratulated him for his 50th Run. Later he was bucketed by NO MORE CUM to learn English: if even a German can learn English...
NO MORE CUM thanked also some valuable members (NIGHT RIDER, SHEIK MEME, …) for their contribution to the Hash Social on Saturday. It was great until the bikers arrived (not my words, hihi …). Great BBQ from POLLUTER and CASPAR. Cheap Charlie arrived there after LIBERACE had left the beach.
Then it’s time for SCAR W/2TS: WILLY and WANK-KING'S WANKER can keep the Hash Crash another week. But then he had to ice NO MORE CUM, SPERM POLLUTER and MY GIRLFRIEND KNOWS I’M GAY (MGKG) for their sexual escapades on the Social Meeting last Saturday. Everybody agreed that MGKG looked like a whore.
Time for SHEIK MEME and give a note for LIBERACE and NO MORE CUM: important people from the Hash and their attribution last Saturday. Well, you cannot mention it enough. Also the Hares were nominated again for a great run. SIR FREE WILLY joins them in the bucket (where he liked it many times, I had the impression), for comment on the RA.
Also REDCOAT took the circle for a lovely song: PAPRIKA and MGKG were dancing with their ass on the ice! He also sang for the Hares. WILLY joins the bucket once again to disrupt the song for the hares: interruption from an entertainer is not allowed, but I think he now doesn’t has to take a shower for one week. And that is why he likes the bucket so much! Later there were the last down-downs for the leavers and the Hash Hymn.
In the baht bus back, I heard about the housekeeping skills of some members of the hash, a Cambodia-trip, ... There was food in the on on bar the Smiling Rat, a drink with some Vikings and a finisher in the TQ.
Before I end, I wish to thank all the people who keep the Hash alive. You gave me, once again, a great holiday in Disneyland. Next week I’m flying back to the Hell in Belgium. Hope to see you all again at the end of the year.
On-On! My Girlfriend Knows I'm Gay