Two Baht buses filled to capacity left promptly at 3:30 from the Buffalo Bar. The A-Site was about 30 min away with plenty of parking, a swimming hole next to a pig farm that BALL RINGER and one other hasher would use after the run to “clean up”. The site was very secluded but hot due to no overhead cover.
The Hares were BURL IVES and Alain Poirier (virgin hare). BURL IVES explained the run and gave the instructions for the “Hong Kong” markings that were to be used. Instructions were long winded and confusing and everyone set off with a bit of skepticism and a doubtful look on their face.
The run itself was 5-5.5k flat,fast and dusty with little overhead cover. Any confusion from the run instructions were quickly put aside as the trail was well marked and easy to figure it out once out running. The walking trail was intermixed with the runners but chalk markings on the ground clearly showed the two groups where to go. Beer Hunters also had no problem finding what they were looking for and it was even commented that there appears to be more Beer Hunters than walkers now.
Food was provided by the Hares and was a hit with everyone. Rice, meat and veggie stir fry and Chili were provided. There was more than enough food and I heard nobody complaining about the quality or quantity.
The GM called the circle and immediately FOWL FUCKER was iced for talking and then the Hares were iced. The GM stated he was already out of patience. BURL IVES was put in the bucket for being late to the ice. The GM complemented him for being proud of his traditions and using Hong Kong Markings for the run.
Next the Raffle. It included a water gun, toaster, gin, wiskey, Hash Shirt, cookies, case of beer and head phones.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD is up next and ices the Hares immediately. The EMPEROR gives the Hares a hard time for using old hard to read signs and suggests in the future they spring for a few hundred baht and get new ones. AIRHEAD complements the Hares on the food and everybody seem to think the run was okay even though the directions for the the markings were a bit confusing and long-winded.
Next AIRHEAD ices Alain Poirier and called his wife Sue to the circle. Alain’s wife opts to sit on the ice instead of on his lap. Twice AIRHEAD offers for Sue to sit on her husband instead of the ice but she opts for the ice each time. It is revealed in the circle that Sue is a champion horse shoe player and every tine she rings a shoe people exclaim “Shit. Sue.” Therefore EMPEROR AIRHEAD named Alan's wife "SHIH TZU". Next VV is is iced along with with synergy and his wife LIPO VITAMIN. AIRHEAD verifies that they all live in the same room and makes a comment about the French and sex and he doesn’t want to know any more.
Next AIRHEAD calls in the virgins. The EMPEROR gives his normal speech to the virgins all but one seem to understand. Maybe it was the beer but one of the virgins doesn’t seem to understand the rules.. more on that later.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD then gives up and turns it over to the GM who turned it over to WANK-KING'S WANKER for milestones and awards. WANK-KING'S WANKER reiterates that the meeting is on the Wednesday after the first Monday Run of the month and anyone can attend. WANK-KING'S WANKER is touting SIR FREE WILLY's St. George's Day Run. MRS HEAD got an award for 650 Runs although she was not in the circle to receive it. Next STUPID KRAUT KUNT and TOM BOY both got awards for 200 Runs. Next BORDERLINE is called into the circle to receive his 50 Run Mug that has been waiting on him for two years.
The GM takes over the circle and ices SCAR W/2TS, MENTAL DISORDER and SHEIK MEME. During a hash event on Friday night SCAR introduces a lady boy to NMC who NMC apparently had had some kind of interaction with at some time in the past (possibly why NMC only drinks soda now?) Then MENTAL DISORDER took it to the next level by paying several other lady boys to keep walking up to NMC, calling him by his name and saying they missed him and were very happy to see him again and acted very familiar. NMC was only slightly amused.
It was stated that SHEIK MEME is very cheap but during this last Friday event he took it to a whole new level. He rode his motorbike to the event but then pushed it all over Pattaya for the rest of the night to conserve on fuel so he had more money for beer. We accepted this as a legitimate trade although very cheap in nature.
PAPRIKA SMILEY, SUPERVIRGIN and VV were put on the ice next. it appears that everyone is missing FLYING FINN and what he brings to the Hash as far as getting everyone drunk with something a little extra he starts passing around on the baht buses enroute to the run and well into the circle. PAPRIKA SMILEY and SUPERVIRGIN have seemed to take up the slack in that department attempting to get everyone a little more drunk than usual. VV was iced so he could be recognized for the good job he is doing as Brew Master - notably the new Pattaya Hash signs on the sides of the truck.
The GM calls for a note for the “Good Guys” and turns it over to SCAR. SIR FREE WILLY and WANK-KING'S WANKER lost their Hash Trash/Crash, WILLY for painting black top and WANK-KING'S WANKER for hitting a pedestrian with his motorcycle.
Next to the ice is a Virgin and his girlfriend then straight in the bucket and make her sit on his lap for talking in the circle, then on the ice. The virgin obviously did not take it seriously as he and another female virgin who ended up int the bucket for talking, started acting like they were have sex. Next SAME SAME and COLONEL CORNHOLE were welcomed back after a few years and three children with a possible one more on the way.
Next SHIEK MEME was iced for sleeping during the Sunday Jungle circle and was called a Hash Hero. Next to the ice are the Hares. They are in the bucket right away because BURL IVES smarted off when SCAR said the run was very short. But because the food was so good he pulled them out of the bucket.
SHEIK MEME takes over the circle next and ices the hares. He tells them it was a great run and has no complaints. SIR FREE WILLY is then put in the bucket for making comments from the circle. KATOEY MAGNET is called out on the ice and SIR FREE WILLY is put back in the bucket again for commenting from the circle. SHEIK MEME called out GANGREEN for talking down about other hashes on the Jungle. FOWL FUCKER put back on ice, SPAG is iced, COLONEL CORNHOLE takes a seat as he is single handedly taking on the Muslim world by re populating the earth.
The GM puts SUPERVIRGIN and SCAR on the ice next and gives a rundown about the Scandihooligan Walkabout. TENT POLE and TOM BOY are put in the bucket for continuous talking in the circle. Dani Steinhoff and Alain Poirier were iced next. Dani is named FRODO again for the Monday Hash. Alain is named BOY NAMED SUE. Returners, ZYNERGY, COLONEL CORNHOLE, FOWL FUCKER and BORDERLINE are called into the circle. PAPRIKA is put in the bucket for leaving and for his shoes. BURL IVES sings the song for the Hares and the returners and leaver lead the circle in the Hash Hymn.
On-On! Rotate Her Later