Well hashers that's it for another year. We arrived at the A-Site after our usual what seems never ending and ever more chaotic baht bus journey.
Then sign up and we are soon sent on way. Not long into the run and it appears the hares are now major suspects for the recent Australian bush fires as instead of the usual single file track they created a 5 metre wide burnt track through the first half of the run.
After that the run was ok, usual checks etc and a couple of strange loops thrown in and even a passing chang. It was a big one as well (you could almost say it was the size of an elephant).
I also passed VV and TAMPAX together going in the opposite direction to the rest of us which was odd but still cute to see them together as only a few months ago they were bitching. So all in all not a bad run apart from possibly just a little too much road run near the end.
So back at the A-Site we are greeted with excellent free food provided by the hares, both the chicken green curry and spaghetti were great and plenty of it. Many thanks.
Then beer starts to flow and circle called. GM NO MORE CUM calls in hares and some guy who lost wallet.
Then its SIR FREE WILLY, and Raffle time. GOLDEN DILDO, VV, are among the winners along with a couple of Thai cracks and a few more.
Then EMPEROR AIRHEAD deals with hares about signs and the virgins and to his delight one is a fellow American. Then as the tone of his voices goes up an octave as it's the moment he has been waiting years for. It's the very first golden ticket draw. ooooooooOOOOOHH! As most of the Thai cracks wait in excitement it turns out to a wait in vain as the prize is swooped by Philipino hasher POCKET SOCKET.
Then its WANK-KING'S WANKER and the ever important stats (well important to them). Nobody else gives a F***, so please see awards section as I wasn't listening, Although I did catch the part when CRACK MY COCCYX said he can say "Lay face down ..." in 20 different languages (I know GM NO MORE CUM was well impressed by this).
Then SCAR W/2T'S brings in family BELL STAR and MILKY WAY and its is soon clear we have a case of like father like son on our hands. Also that MILKY WAY has an issue with GM time and time in Europe. He must remember GM stands for Grand Master and the Grand Master is always right.
Then it SUPERVIRGIN and KATOY MAGNET who also have timing issues that the usually late but avoid missing the bus by thinking it left earlier. So managed to be there in time even though they would have been late (I know, I got confused too). Then its SPERM POLLUTER in for good deeds donation to kids.
Then it was the highlight of the evening when into the circle walks the legend that is LORD CHICKEN FUCKER, The circle awaits and then in almost Tommy Cooper style the circle begins to chuckle even though LORD CHICKEN FUCKER hasn't said anything.
But then he is heckled by IM LAO about how can he remember someone's name when he has memory loss. And his instant response of I only remember ugly people is almost comic genius. The rest of his circle and his old reliable man in the boat story was hilarious and timeless. Well done CHICKEN FUCKER! And good to see you back, it just rolled back the years.
Well, there were a few other good circles that followed but by now I had lost the coordination to write anymore, but I do remember the Hares Song had the words ding and dong in somewhere. So it was Hash Hymn and then on board baht buses for the 2 beer trip drive to happy hour at Nicky's Pub. Great turkey curry, plenty for all, many thanks.
Well, so as PH3 Monday Hash enters its 32nd year (personally my 25th) it was good to see over 100 runners and shows it is still an healthy hash. This is due to the ever keen runners that continue to turn out and mainly due to the great effort put in by many people.
I would like to take this opportunity to thank them all and there are many as well as the front boys - ie; Grand Master and RA's. It is also the people that keep the stats, food, organise transport and even the simple things like stay behind and clean the A-Site. It is all these that make this the greatest hash.
And Hashy New Year to all.
On-On! Knob Marley