THE WIZARD started the circle and advised the Hashers on the do's and don'ts. New shoes were addressed with the appropriate beer toasts. A moment of silence was observed for a fallen Hasher, LORD LUCAN who had recently passed. LORD LUCAN was a legend among the Pattaya Hashers and was one of the founders of many of the Pattaya Hashes, as well as Hashing all over the world. The Jungle Hash posted a Memoriam to this man that exemplifies what real Hasher is. He shall be missed.
The Hares outline the run and walk to the group, including the water crossings and recommended staying away from the Elephants (yes, they said Elephants) and not to disturb or yell at them.
The Runners were off like a streak, leaving the walkers in the dust, then the walkers were off leaving CANNONBALL and me in the dust. It reminded me of the fable of "The Tortoise and the Hare". What I didn't know is that I was going to be the Damned Tortoise.
The trails were well marked and the water crossing were fun and easy (especially with the Thai Ladies helping CANNONBALL and me, Thank you Ladies). It was a great walk. I only saw one Elephant! However, with all the Elephant shit we stepped in there must have been a whole herd in that Jungle. The three large Water Buffalos gave CANNONBALL a few dirty looks. The Tortoises finally made it back to the circle.
THE WIZARD took the circle and addressed the Hash Trash Issue. A stack of books were abandoned on the previous run and LOVE BOAT attempted to plead her innocence and blame another Hasher. A face cloth was produced by THE WIZARD and LOVE BOAT was guilty again and put ON ICE and awarded the Hash toilet seat. THE WIZARD produced a towel recovered on the trail and tracked it down to the Slovenians, SHE'S THE BOSS was put ON ICE.
the Wizard placed all the Hares, GOLDEN RIVET, LOST CAUSE, TOM BOY, DUCHESS TADPOLE, POLE FUCKER, TELLY TUBBY, HOI WAN on ice. THE WIZARD asked the walkers and runners for their opinion of the run. PARISIAN TITI - good, VV - perfect, SPASTIC WHORE KING - great, HARD ON - good, WHORE IN THE WINDOW - fantastic, GI JOE - good, DIRT LOONEY - good sticks. LOVE BOAT - good.
HARD ON handled Raffle. UPGRADE won twice. NO MORE CUM, won twice then donated his second prize back, a true gentleman.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD took the circle and explained that THE WIZARD was attempting to teach the Hashers, but it was like teaching a "Tribe of Primates". He Then he placed the Hares ON ICE and complemented the food that the Hares had provided. He addressed the Amazonian women's influence on the male/Spouse Hares.
KNICKERLESS and PHANTOM on ice and EMPEROR AIRHEAD highlighted their relationship. TEASPOON and UPGRADE on ice, having a birthday party at T.Q. on Thursday, February 20th. John (Canadian) ON ICE, new Hash name CROOKED CUNT. Hash Virgins ON ICE, Shawn from London , Khaoula and Maher from Tunisia.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD recognized FLYING FINN's generosity for picking up the bar tab at the local watering hole for the Beer Hunters.
WANK-KING'S WANKER's circle, SAUSAGE HEAD, SMOKEY'S NANNY, FUZZY LURE, GANGREEN on ice recognized for the number runs they have attended.
THE WIZARD's circle, SPERM POLLUTER, HAPPY SURVIVOR, BEETROOT HEAD, ARSE BANDIT on ice; WANK-KING'S WANKER and HARD ON in ICE BUCKET. FLYING FINN returned home and Virgins ON ICE.
NO MORE CUM had his girlfriend enter the circle. Sat on his lap and named her CHICKEN KIEV.
THE WIZARD's circle, NO MORE CUM designated Wanker of the Week, DIRT LOONEY for drinking free beer and whisky until he displayed his projectile vomiting skills, ARSE BANDIT for MADAM SIN's new shoes ON ICE.
LORD CHICKEN FUCKER's circle, NO MORE CUM on ice for violating Hash rules on naming his girlfriend. GANGREEN, beer police, ARSE VAN HOLE, SMOKEY TRUCKY FUCKY on ice. Here's to LIBERACE.
Final down down, SPERM POLLUTER, CROOKED CUNT, POLE FUCKER,
Hash Hymn.
On-On! Fuck Off