PH3 RUN #1985
What a great A-Site, on the south shore of Map Fak Thong. Plenty of flat land for parking and with a slightly overcast day, finding shade was not an issue.
Taking in a quick 360 degree view of the site there are no real hills to cause concern, so it will be a flat track for both runners and walkers but with a large lake in full view no doubt the hares will plan for the lake to feature in the run.
Sadly yet another hasher has passed on. Lord Chicken Fucker informed the circle King Yao Yao had passed away on 3rd October. King Yao Yao was a true gentleman with over 800 PH3 trails alone. True to his word King Yao Yao stopped hashing some 5-10 years ago when he could no longer run – he wasn't for walking. King Yao Yao – On On Forever...
Hares for today are Lord Chicken Fucker, Dog Licks His Dick and Cookie Monster - standing in for the inured Spastic Whore-King. The hares set the tone by informing GM they had taken a vote, and they won't be sitting on the ice today – sounds like the troubled Lord Chicken Fucker has started already.
GM called the circle.
GM called the hares on ice, ignoring the previous advice. While injured and unable to perform any haring duties Spastic Whore-King attended the run to celebrate his birthday and very kindly sponsored the food. With Spastic Whore-King injured GM posed the question as to who actually laid the trail. Lord Chicken Fucker and Dog Licks His Dick raised their hands.
GM asked the circle their thoughts of the run. She's The Boss was so far off paper some suggested he was doing a recce – turns out he was. Sperm Polluter ran on another Hash's paper – after being advised by that Hash's paper layer – GI Joe. The new FRB Fleece Lifter is a totally different man from just a few weeks ago – nothing to do with the new nubile he has acquired. Mr Bean mumbled – bucolic a number of times before being shut down by GM.
GM called for the raffle. Now prior to the raffle several hashers had approached Knickerless hoping to take some of the good luck she has recently enjoyed. Emperor Airhead had a plan and gave Knickerless the money to purchase his tickets. Knickerless returned to EA with two sets of tickets and asked EA to choose which set he wanted. If only EA had chosen the other set of tickets, and he would have been a winner. No doubt EA will have Plan-B next week.
GM then asked the circle who took the cooler box and ice blocks left on the raffle table last week. Seems GM used the cooler box to transport a raffle prize and his property was assumed to be part of that prize.
GM gave EA the circle who called hares on ice. Cookie Monster again took Spastic Whore-King's place on ice. Cookie Monster had had a busy day preparing, with others, the great food hashers enjoyed prior to the circle. EA spoke of the 150 years of experience haring, shared by Lord Chicken Fucker and Dog Licks His Dick with Lord Chicken Fucker reaching yet another milestone – his 65th hare. EA then walked the circle taking each hasher in turn and asking the circle should that hasher be iced. Seal Sucker was attempting to avoid scrutiny by hiding behind Fleece Lifter.
EA called Dirt Looney and Farts A Lot on ice. Of course EA meant Flatulance – but I like his thinking. It seems these two hashers are attempting to replace Wank-Kings Wanker while he convalecse following a medical procedure. EA suggested that combined, Dirt Looney and Flatulance were equal to only one half of Wank-Kings Wanker's brain. I hope EA meant that side of the brain that does the website, not the side of the brain that does the Awards.
GM then called Cookie Monster into the circle carrying a cake for Spastic Whore-King.
GM called Dirt Looney on ice. Dirt Looney is now tasked with keeping the website up to date for the next couple of months – something Dirt Looney himself calls a challenge and was named a Hash Hero.
GM called Chip Chip and Parisian Titti on ice – looking a little sheepish, they promised to return the missing ice box next week.
GM called Ging Gang Goolies on ice for not wearing a hash shirt. Ging Gang Goolies wore a shirt of his own design for the second consecutive week because he wanted to prove he could make a hash shirt. This is just weird, what would have been impressive is if he had woven the fabric to make the shirt.
GM then put on the Awards hat and called Sour Kraut Bone Collector into the circle to acknowledge his 100th run, coincidently on his birthday. GM called Bum Boy into the circle to acknowledge his 200th run. Bum Boy has done what others have tried and failed and that was to have a good outcome from asking for a name change. Bum Boy requested the Princess be removed from his hash name as it was causing some family angst.
GM gave Lord Chicken Fucker the circle who immediately enquired who wants to sit on the ice. Something Stupid moved at the wrong time and was called on ice. Smokey Trucky Fucky laughed at the wrong time and was called on ice. Gangreen was called on ice but appeared to have distant thoughts but responded when described as an intelligent man, and took a seat. Lord Chicken Fucker then asked Gangreen to sing a song who responded with a fabulous rendition of – Will You Swallow My Cum.
GM apologised to the circle as the bucket had not been used this evening. We all acknowledge, a hasher in the bucket is what we all like to see, as long as it is not you. Fuck Off let out a scream, which saved some unfortunate from being sacrificed, and took a seat in the bucket.
GM called on the hares to sing a song.
GM called on Ben 10 and Ballringer to lead the Hash Hymn.
GM closed the circle.
On-On! PHANTOM