And it's the Hariettes Birthday run. One of those Hariettes, Knickerless was more excited than usual, if that's possible, as this would be Knickerless's first hare for PH3, with Hares she has a great affinity for, and it's her birthday – oh, and she has new shoes.
The Hariettes chose an area off Huay Yai road for their run. As the baht buses left the black top there was still some 2.3 KM to travel to the A-Site. It was a narrow track the baht buses now followed, which eventually opened to a flat clearing, and like last week, plenty of parking space available.
GM called the circle and after concluding the usual business called the hares for run directions. All Hares presented wearing plastic boots – the ladies were trying to convey a subliminal message. Giving the run instructions was Duchess Tadpole, dressed in a large frizzy wig, seventies era, large round sunglasses, and wearing bright red lipstick – but pulling the strings of control, never far away, was Lost Cause. These Hariettes had one message – don't underestimate the run, the first hill you climb will reveal the next hill and then the next and the next etc.
In addition to laying the trail Hares also provided the hash with food – a delicious spaghetti bolognese with garlic bread – many thanks for that, ladies.
GM called the circle with hares on ice and began dissecting the run. GM said it was a great run – but could that be because it was a copy of the Monkey? Ballringer insisted, they were there first. She's The Boss, when asked his opinion said he enjoyed the walk. Sperm Polluter thought it was an awesome trail. GI Joe thought it was good, but.... Pussy Snatcher subscribed to the Monkey theory. Overall consensus – very good trail.
GM called for the raffle and was ably assisted by young Ben10. Perhaps the innocence of a child was being used to counter those corruption theories. The big raffle winners came as no surprise – Knickerless and Lost Cause – both won on donated tickets.
GM gave the circle to Emperor Airhead who called Lord Chicken Fucker and VV on ice. EA called those hashers father figures, with too many runs between them to count. Lord Chicken Fucker recently delivered the eulogy for King Yao Yao. Duchess Tadpole was called into the circle as she was one of the Hariettes who named Yao Yao – and explained the name in Thai meant thin and tall – the conversation then took the expected downward spiral...
EA called hares on ice. These Hariettes had long ago discovered how to control men – feed them. EA then questioned the Hares as to the part they played for this run. The Hariettes eventually divulged the wearing of the plastic boots was a psychological ploy – a visual but misleading suggestion the run would be wet.
EA called Flatulance on ice. EA suggested Flatulance was a difficult name to remember let alone spell and perhaps there should be a name change. EA suggested - Farts A Lot - would be a good alternative without losing any of the original intent. Flatulance disagreed, he liked his name – must be something like the Stockholm Syndrome. EA would have a fight on his hands to achieve this name change and decided to re-group and return to this point next week. All this time another hasher was on ice waiting to be given a name – Gary. Not a lot is known about Gary – construction worker, worked on tall buildings, and is afraid of heights. EA has left Gary in the hands of a select bunch of hashers, to uncover whatever dirt they can, before naming Gary next week.
GM called French Kiss, Bell End and Knickerless into the circle to celebrate their birthday. Those Hariettes were presented with birthday cakes.
GM filled in for Wank-Kings Wanker presenting the awards and called She's The Boss and Happy Survivor into the circle. Happy Survivor received a shirt to acknowledge the completion of 100 PH3 runs. She's The Boss received a shirt to acknowledge the completion of 10 PH3 hares.
GM gave Lord Chicken Fucker the circle who called Arse Bandit on ice. Lord Chicken Fucker inquired why Arse Bandit had been missing from PH3 for the last few runs. Seems Madame Sin had a deflation in one of her augmentations and needed to consult the Pneumatic specialist at Yokohama.
Lord Chicken Fucker called Tampax on ice. Tampax had given Lord Chicken Fucker a lift to the hash last week and arrived home only to find his one set of house keys missing. Assuming they had been lost at the A-Site. Tampax drove back to the A-Site and after a short search found the keys in the area where he had first parked his car.
GM called on the hares to sing a song.
GM called for the final down down.
GM called on Ben10 and Ballringer to lead the Hash Hymn.
GM closed the circle.
On-On! Phantom