The Incredible Adventures of, Wild Wolf
Act 1
Location: The wilderness of, Pattaya.
Our hero, Wild Wolf, having plans to arrive on the first bus, with his out of town companions, stumbles off into the woods of, Pattaya to inspect his trail. A trail, which he hared along with: Jackal and Blow Lewinsky. Our wild and woolly friend seemingly completely forgot about the many guests he had invited and told that he would cover signup costs for. Many a fair, HASHER was left floundering like a drunk fish out of water saying, “Where is that bastard!”
The intrepid crew of, 72 HASHERS assembled at the ‘A’ site. Two Time and Dirt Looney worked their miracles to ensure there was plenty of fresh brew for everyone. Lady Squeeze My Tube was a real trooper, preparing delicious food for our motley crew. A great many thanks to, GI Joe for sponsoring the food.
Poor, YMCA was put under a lot of stress as he tried to, not only handle the cash as normal, but also had to herd the kittens, Wild Wolf sponsored, but wasn’t present for. YMCA wisely created an ad-hock separate signup sheet for, Wild Wolf’s pack and calculated the signup fees for, Wild Wolf to pay later.
In keeping with the theme for the day, Wild Wolf missed the run. He apparently fell in to the baht bus with, Sir Really Sadistic Bastard’s, Beer Hunters Brigade. Wild Wolf, missing in action again? Or, AWOL? You decide.
Act 2
The weather, which had been threatening rain all week, held off and we were treated to a surprisingly dry and relatively cool rural adventure. Unlike the previous days, Wild Wolf HASH adventure, there were no real casualties. Well, only one minor injury to speak about.
Our valiant, pugilist, YMCA again saw a tee he didn’t like the look of and proceeded to pick a fight. YMCA went 0 for 2 with the tree; walking back to camp with a bloody nose. Keep up the fighting spirit, YMCA! Maybe just pick on a posy your next go round?
Banana Rider, was not injured, but she did manage to, “Lose balance” on trail. And, Sperm Polluter, to quote the man himself, “went down”; fill in your own rude comments here.
A really pleasant surprise was that, Sunshine returned, bringing his lovely lady, Serina with him, all the way from the Philippines. Other notable returners were: Flatulence and Popcorn Queen, fresh off the farm from, Isan. Captain Kirk. Thalidoskid. Yankycrank. And, Classic. Welcome back guys!
Nid, now to be referred to as, Minnie Mouse, came in first for the ladies again.
Our beloved front runner, Sperm Polluter, forgot his shoes, for the second week in a row!
Act 3
The Circle had it’s usual share of off colour humour. Our, illustrious GM, The Wizard held court again as usual. After suitably chastising the, HASH Crashers, The Wizard singled out, Mountain Flower for depositing her dirty cloth at, Suttors Court.
Emperor Airhead named, Wesley, Clam Sucker, but not before pointing out that, for a big guy, Wesley ‘comes quick’. To which, Pickaninny spit out her beer and fell over laughing. Emperor Airhead assembled Wesley’s harem for the naming ceremony. They put in a real poor account for themselves. We have all heard them talking in the circle, so we know they can be much louder than that. As the ladies were being photographed by our, Spastic Whore King, Cocktail misinterpreted his actions, thinking she was on a model shoot, and begun posing. Settle down, Cocktail.
Little Sparrow was called back in to the circle to enquire with him about his impressions with his new name, now that a week had gone by with his new moniker? Little Sparrow had the best answer, “It makes me feel a part of the group, Sir.” Well said, Little Sparrow, well said.
Sperm Polluter took the circle to announce, Ben 10’s ninth birthday. Congratulations, Ben 10. We all looked a little concerned with his sharing a birthday with, Wild Wolf. That can’t be a good omen.
The Wizard summoned all of, Wild Wolf’s out of town friends. Inviting them to cool off with a seat on the ice. Wild Wolf lived up to his name, drunkenly circling the pack while the GM warmly greeted them.
The Wizard remarked how fortunate he had been, up until last, Friday night, never to have met, Cocksucker before. Then expressed interest in finding out how, Homo Gangbanger came to be named? A little too much interest may have been shown.
Macho Lo Lo and Homo Gangbanger tried to out smart the GM by drinking their ‘strong arm’ down-down’s together; feeding each other. The Wizard would have none of that chicanery and forced the two men to drink properly, this time from the bucket!
Cocktail, last weeks, ‘Wanker’ was ushered on to the ice for this week’s naming of, ‘The Wanker of the Week.’ The finalists chosen were: Flatulence and Sperm Polluter. The mob agreed, forgetting your shoes two weeks in a row was unforgivable, and Sperm Polluter walked out of the circle wearing the honours..
Wild Wolf led us in a song from the hares. And that concluded this weeks, HASH and, Wild Wolf’s birthday extravaganzas. Well done, Wild Wolf! And, happy birthday.
On On Mount Me