Scribe Report Hash Sheet – Run 2063 – 9th September 2024
Hares – Something Stupid, Something Kinder, Parisian Titi, Chip Chip
Hash Flash – Spastic Whore King (Run) YMCA (Circle)
GM – The Wizard
On the momentous day of Something Stupid 79th Birthday, with CIA blanking the GM’s kind offer to scribe, and as an act of contrition for my misdeeds last week, I sat myself in the scribe’s chair.
The A-site was about 50 minutes away and seemed well situated and flat, with aspects which were well shaded.
Boring Wanker and Black Panther handed out delicious coconut flavoured banana treats.
The first circle was opened by the GM
New shoes were celebrated in the traditional way; Cuckoo’s Nest (visiting hasher from Oman), No Banana, and a virgin guest. The first note was from GI Joe
There was an update on a decision from our glorious hash committee, that a ‘one beer’ policy was now implemented at the beer truck, This was due to some sticky-fingered persons who may or may not be liberating beer as a ‘take away’ and free off licence.
The hares gave the run briefing which included the words ‘dry and flat’ with the news that the runners' trail had been shortened to 5km due to debris and walkers had a nice stroll of 4km.
Gangreen announced that the beer hunters were available if anyone was up for the challenge.
Without further ado we were off, and I decided to stretch myself with the runners trail.
I managed to return alongside YMCA and counted my lucky stars that I hadn’t broken anything on the treacherous steep route which, it has to be said, was at least dry.
Ever the gentleman Something Stupid and Parisian Titi passed around Scottish Whisky and Chilean red wine, both highly appreciated and a pleasant surprise.
The second circle shenanigans were begun by the GM. Those who were iced in no particular order
Hash Crashers – Sick of Steve and Ann
Hash Trash – Who The Fuck Am I (stool) sat on ice, then promoted to the bucket after a second piece of trash was found to be his, Ging Gang Goolies (nasty comb), Something Stupid, and Sick of Steve responsible for other infractions.
Hares – were sat on the ice whilst it was established that everyone enjoyed the route with positive comments about the food prepared by Lady Squeeze My Tube
Then it was time for the corruption that is the raffle. Once again, I failed to buy a winning ticket.
Winners – Cuckoo’s Nest, Phil (no name), Sir Velcro Dick, Shy Tiger, Two Time & Panzer Fister.
Emperor Airhead took on the circle and put the hares on ice, where he established that the matching GT350 Shelby shirts worn by the hares apart from Something Stupid was no accident.
Also sat on ice
Bubbles and Ann, whilst name suggestions were offered. Ann was then ‘named’ Farm Girl
Papa Dick had a visiting relative, Half a Dick from Lahore India.
CIA - who had some shady story about jury service.
Hustler Bar owner ‘I told you three times‘ David (no name) and friend (no name and definitely not gf).
Blow Lewinsky - talking shit
Jerry Cunt - no shirt for second circle
Something Stupid was given a Hashy birthday with a cake
Cuckoo’s Nest said that his Thailand travel included temple visits, and charity work. He absolutely had no intention of going to Soi 6 ever
Cannonball admitted his pizza addiction to the group and will have his birthday run 30.09
The lovely couple that is Phil and Jo (no name) are touring on holiday for 6 months and definitely not wanted by Interpol.
Back to the GM for the circle. On ice were Wanker of The Week award nominees:-
Fattus Maximus, Lady Squeeze My Tube, Irregular Period and Who The Fuck Am I
Once again the clear winner was Fattus Maximus, who now suffers from a plethora of medical conditions which gives him an exemption from standing in the circle and a life expectancy of 7 minutes.
Hares Song was given solo by the GM, who managed to improve on a Frank Sinatra and Robbie Williams love song.
Final Down Down and closure.
On On - So Long, Farwell, Adieu, Who the Fuck Am I