Scribe Report 2 September 2024 Veterans’ Run
The much awaited return of our illustrious GM, The Wizard, was somewhat dampened by the rain which kept persisting down. There was much speculation as to the whereabouts of our GM during his four week absence. Some say he was lost while fishing up the Mekong while others say he was away on a luxury retreat. Maybe the truth is he was recuperating after putting up with abuse and bad behaviour from some hashers. Anyway, it was good to see him back in fine form.
The A-site chosen was lovely with plenty of trees to provide shade but unfortunately they did not provide shelter from the rain. GI Joe had new sunset coloured shoes and the improved grip on them must have worked as he didn’t fall over on the run.
The Beer Hunters, all ten of them, took off early to find shelter and sustenance at a local shop/restaurant and returned much later to find no runners had returned but as 84 minutes had elapsed the eskies were open. Eventually, Seal Sucker came in first but he was walking as he claimed he was so far ahead of everyone else.
The hares kindly provided us with cheese and gherkins.
The second circle was called at 6.25pm and first on the agenda was Hash Crash. Parisienne Titti and Something Kinder gallantly wore their helmets. Don’t Call Me Dick was sat on the ice for slipping down a slope and nearly taking out Leg Over while papering the trail the day before.
Hash Trash: Nobody claimed a little stool so it will be held till next week. Emperor Airhead was reunited with his Dirt Hash bag that he claimed was stolen by Night Rider. Pussy Snatcher got back his 2000th run name tag. Hard not to own up when your name is on items.
GI Joe’s circle. The hares were iced and GI Joe expressed how happy he was to see the GM back. The consensus was that it was a good trail even though Dirt Looney thought it was only “alright”
Raffle Time: The GM presided again and there were lots of happy winners with prizes of alcohol. Lost Cause did her usual yelling out of her numbers so that it was hard to hear the real numbers.
Emperor Airhead’s Circle: At this stage it started pissing down so it was difficult to hear what was being said as he put the hares on the ice. He noted it was a meeting of pussy and dick on the ice. Bubbles was next to be iced. He has been living in Pattaya ten months now and was rather green when he arrived especially around women but now he is a seasoned hasher and has a girlfriend who wishes to be named Farm Girl but I think Country Bitch sounds better.
GM’s Wanker of the Week: Three miscreants this week, Twinkle Dick for being lost on trail and sending a video of himself by some trees and expecting hares to know where he was and to be rescued, Kunta Kinte for throwing his empty water bottle into the bushes and GI Joe/ Squeeze My Tube the current holders. GI Joe needs to get a new joke about his wife, not the one about her being short and flat.
The winner was Kunta Kinte and he was appropriately bucketed.
Lost Cause was awarded a shirt for 400 runs and bravely limped into the circle after sustaining injuries in a motor cycle accident.
A visiting hasher, Dick the Boy Wonder, took the circle twice and once was asked to remove his cap with the false pony tail and next put all the Dick Family on the ice and sang them the Dick song, I love my Wife.
The GM put Seal Sucker, YMCA and GI Joe on the ice and thanked them for taking over duties while he was absent. Seal Sucker of course was a stand-in for Fleece Lifter and the GM heard that YMCA did a great job or running the first circle despite him being the last person he thought would step in.
Hares’ Song: Great singing from all of them of, When I was just a little boy sung to the tune of Que Sera Sera.
Finally what was left of the dwindling circle was called in to sing The Final Down Down and the Hash Hymn. Then it was a mad dash to the Baht buses for a soggy ride back to Kubla Bar to dry off and imbibe some more.
Thank you to all who participated and helped out despite the weather.
On-On Sauce for the Goose