PH3 41st Birthday Run
I'm a virgin to the PH3 hash, yet, I still volunteered to scribe. Thanks to many for helping me out. I was quite welcomed. Here goes:
The Wizard, the outgoing GM, started off with disclaimers and ‘relief location’ guidelines.
Then hash trash took the ice. Some big guy in an orange shirt [Arse Van Hole]. He was adorned with a red leather? Pointy dilapidated hat which was too small, and thus a perfect hash headcover.
Next The Wizard called forth the Hash Crashers. A RECORD 9 crashers. Among them (Please pardon the incorrect names):
* Goosey Goosey Gobbler (blood inspection)
* Muff Designher
* No More Cum
* Sir Arse-A-Holic
* Splinter Dick (a bleeder)
* Pol Dancer
* Drinks Like a Girl (got some awards)
* Ball Ringer
* YMCA
Check the hash report for the full list [EDIT by Dirt Looney: I updated the list here coz it was easier].
Some crashed in the first section at the ravines, others in the woods and still another at the ‘reddy brown rocky road’. The interpretation of this one will be left up to yall’s twisted imaginations.
The GM noted the return of No Banana who apparently hasn't attended in a while.
For some reason Velcro Dick drank beer.
Then, the hares went on ice.
Milky Piss and Leg Over won a raffle. Corruption and Shenanigans were called by many. Hot Hope won a raffle.
The cookies were still on the table as this scribe’s mouth watered clutching my TWO raffle tickets that I bought *just* for the cookies. Alas, it wasn’t to be. The almond or blueberry tart at home would have to suffice. Or the Oat cookies. Or the Mango custard cake thing.
Emperor Airhead, with over 1600 PH3 runs, the religious advisor took the circle next. He called the Hares forth and sat them on the ice. Then, he told a story about them combing each others hair back in the old days (they're all buzz cut now)… like Vikings, Dwarves, or elves or something of yore.
Then VV announce the free food. Lovely sausage, bread and fresh toppings.
Hares were then released and a song was sung (Quite Nice needs a local songbook).
Titanic Dickhead returned to the ice. Something from Subic Bay. Ran the Corona? Hash. It seems the Corona Hash has visited the Pattaya Hash and are kindred kennels. TD was asked to expound on the Philippine hash and the differences. I don’t recall the details except that they have 1 or 2 blocks of ice.
Bubbles was then called to the center ice. Apparently he doesn’t come enough. And there was something about him giving Sausage Head a blowjob or a 6 pack.
Next Necrophilia Nightrider took the circle. Salad Dodger was called to the ice. This is likely greatly in error, but here’s what I gathered: At one point, Nightrider’s arm went to sleep. And some Cambodian spell was made by a woman which fixed it. At another point, Nightrider got drunk and puked on the lady’s back and on the bar. After which she took him home. Apparently, no reparations have been made and a 500 baht recompense was voted on, approved and ordered.
Salad Dodger left the ice, but was called back. He was given a 6XL pink shirt that read “Rule 6 Violator” on the front. I learned that rule 6 is ‘no poofery’ in the circle and observed a few limp wrists gestures from the edge of the circle. The GM made it clear that new shirts were going to be ordered tomorrow and I think SD was offered a free one. But, Unless he was he going back to philistines, not to return soon. It seems SD won't be back for 10 months and no free special shirt will be ordered.
A man with a long duster and many patches took the circle next. On his back read “ScandiHooligan”, a veteran. [Scar With 2T's]
Little Tommy Two Lips was called to the circle due to some discrepancy Scar gave the wife a reprieve, who was present, instead opting for Really Sadistic Bastard who he said ‘looks like’ Something Stupid.
Some shithead was reprimanded for pissing 30 cm from circle, mouthed off anyway. I didn’t catch the name.
Beer hunters were next. Gangreen apparently was not present and presumed to be rolling a joint somewhere. But the ‘old leader’ was present.
End of 41st year awards: Here’s what I caught:
Stays on paper - GI Joe
Consecutive Days Drunk - Dirt Looney and Stupid Kraut Cunt
Best scribe – Fattus Maximus
Only gets out of car for special occassions – lazarus award – Irregular Period
Punchy Twat – Who Cut The Cheese, Sauerkraut Bone Collector, both banned.
Most injury – Hot Hope
Most Food Eaten on a Hash – Ging Gang Goolies
Wanker of the Week went to Irregular Period and had a spoon draped over his neck.
Hares sang a song.
On On Quite Nice