Total Hashers This Week - 65

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Correcting Run Records Policy

To encourage hashers, and hash virgins, to take responsibility for ensuring they have received proper run credit, the deadline for reporting missed runs will be Thursday evening following a run. As run stats are posted to the website by noon of the Tuesday following the run, hashers will have 2 1/2 days to review the run stats to confirm they've received credit for the run just held.

The reason for the Thursday deadline is we close out the run accounts and run records for a run on Friday mornings. Corrections entered before Friday help ensure we have an accurate accounting of the run.

It is hoped with this policy in place the number of hashers that pay the signup fee and walk away before having their name marked off on the signup list will be reduced. This will also eliminate the cases where a hasher comes to us weeks, months, or even years later asking to correct a missed run in the records.

The one exception to this policy will be those with duplicate run records can approach us when they're close to achieving a run award. At that time we will merge the records so the run award reflects all their runs with the PH3.

Missed runs can be reported via email to the Webmaster.

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Awards This Run

Burley Chassis
5 Hared Runs

Something Stupid
200 Runs

NOTE: Scribe Reports are written for your entertainment and are a work of fiction.
Any resemblance to actual people and events is purely coincidental.

Scribe Report by Fleece Lifter

The Betty Boop run, that one day of the year when cross dressing hashers don’t need to hide their fetish from the rest of Pattaya, not that many people blink an eye around these parts when you walk around that way. Our hares THE WIZARD, BURLEY CHASSIS, and SOMETHING STUPID set a run and a walk, but no checks as its hard to think straight when you’re concentrating on keeping your make-up from running. A brief downpour at the time the front runners returned kept numbers down at the A-Site until that subsided and people filtered out of the nearby bars. The only food until the On On was the snacks so that allowed us to get down to some serious drinking, paving the way for uninhibited debauchery once MILKY PISS took the circle.
The GM iced LADY SQUEEZE MY TUBE for fashion crimes, a pearl necklace GANGREEN suggested, but on closer inspection that was last run’s Wanker of the Week award and it was the Chiang Mai shirt that had earned his ire.
Then the WIZARD was iced for hash trash (an umbrella he had poked the GM with, and maybe even Burley), and MUFF DESIGNHER for splashing in his new gumboots (Welly’s I believe he called them) in the mud proving his mental age.
The hares were iced to get trail feedback. ARROGANT BASTARD enjoyed the beer hunting. GI JOE was confused by the pink chalk as he is colour blind. SHORT TIME SEAL SUCKER made many thousands of baht selling her pussy, she’ll be headed to the coconut bar more than once this week I’d say. FLEECE LICKER (renamed herself for the night) enjoyed that a short trail detour accessed an off the beaten path gentleman’s club so decided to woman up and do it, maybe not next time as it was too hard for the ladies to process (pun intended).
Time for the raffle and we need to thank those hashers who donated prizes as some were of high value and we grossed 6k in tickets sales which is almost an average of a ticket per signup, well done to all as the proceeds went to our favoured charity. It was noted that as usual the alcohol went first in high value to low order, except for STUPID KRAUT CUNT who broke with that protocol and took a chair, which he almost broke as he left the table, no surprise. Corruption also ruled supreme as usual as two of the hares won early prizes in the raffle, brown paper bag is the way Pattaya rolls.
EMPEROR AIRHEAD took the circle and called it a black day for the Betty Boop run as there weren’t enough cross-dressing participants. Probably as he was resplendent in his new red dress which had scared off the competition. Time for the best lady for the night competition, and EA ran a no-nonsense quick vote to announce that MADAM REALLY SADISTIC GRANDMA smoked the competition, the same thing she does in Boys Town. Then it was the boys with pussy’s comp, once again an efficient process had it whittled down to LOST CAUSE and CHIP CHIP, it would have got ugly if only one took the prize so they decided to share it 50/50, that saved the Bandits in Brown a trip to Rompho. 
After the awards FLEECE LICKER took the circle and iced all the pussy’s who got dressed on site rather than woman up and travel that way across town, this included PANZA RASTAWOMAN FISTER, SHORT TIME SEAL SUCKER and others. Then MOUNT ME GEARSTICK and LITTLE DRAGON DICK  were iced for arriving in costume but not joining the vote, wasted effort you two.
THE WIZARD took the circle and iced the towel wearing Mexicans for the lamest dresses ever seen (although perhaps that was all that would fit their ample frames), and then MUFF DESIGN HER for bringing a bar fine to the hash who then ditched her, she probably paid for services rendered up front, that’ll learn her.
After the hash hymn most of us went to Monta Burger bar for a few roadies and food Monta provided, thanks to the bar. 

On On! Fleece Lifter 

Hares' Song

A very amusing rendition of 'Dirty Old Girl' sung by The Wizard

DIRTY OLD GIRL
(To the tune of ‘Dirty Old Town’ by The Pogues)

I SAW A GIRL, DOWN THE OLD TREE TOWN,
MASSIVE TITS, LIKE THE UDDERS ON A COW,
HER NIPPLES POKED THROUGH HER TIGHT RED GOWN,
DIRTY OLD GIRL,
DIRTY OLD GIRL.

HER ARSE WAS FAT AND PERFECTLY ROUND,
GIANT SHADOW CAST UPON THE GROUND,
HER SMILE WAS WIDE AND HER TEETH ALL BROWN,
DIRTY OLD GIRL,
DIRTY OLD GIRL

I BOUGHT HER BEER, AND SHE SAT DOWN NEAR,
SHE SMELT OF FAGS AND HER BREATH DID HUM,
A HINT OF CHILLI AND THE LAST GUYS COME,
DIRTY OLD GIRL,
DIRTY OLD GIRL

SHE HELD MY HAND AND SHE STROKED MY HAIR,
I CHECKED FOR A COCK BUT THERE WAS NONE THERE,
BUT A HAIRY SNATCH, THAT SHE WANTED TO SHARE,
DIRTY OLD GIRL,
DIRTY OLD GIRL

I PAID HER FINE AND WE STEPPED OUTSIDE,
IN THE NEON LIGHT, SHE APPEARED QUITE WIDE,
I CALLED A BOLT AND WE WENT FOR A RIDE,
DIRTY OLD GIRL,
DIRTY OLD GIRL

IN MY ROOM WE BOTH GOT UNDRESSED,
ON HER KNEE WAS A SAGGING BREAST,
60 YEARS YOUNG I WOULD HAVE GUESSED,
DIRTY OLD GIRL,
DIRTY OLD GIRL

I GAVE HER RUM, LACED WITH ROHYPNOL,
GREEDY CUNT, WELL SHE DOWNED IT ALL
MY VIAGARA, ALAS IT DID FUCK ALL,
DIRTY OLD GIRL,
DIRTY OLD GIRL.

I WOKE AT NOON, AND THE BIRD HAD FLOWN,
SHE’D PISSED THE BED, NO GOOD TIME WAS SHOWN
MY HEAD DID POUND AND I HADNT BEEN BLOWN,
DIRTY OLD GIRL,
DIRTY OLD GIRL

I SPIED MY WALLET ON THE BEDROOM FLOOR,
MY CASH WAS GONE, CREDIT CARDS NO MORE
I WAS TOO DUMB FOR A CRAFTY OLD WHORE,
DIRTY OLD GIRL,
DIRTY OLD GIRL.