Hash Trash 21st July 2025
Hares: She’s The Boss, Hot Hope, Car Licker and Drinks Like a Girl
Actually, the story begins last Wednesday with the Hash boat trip. A great day out with the THB100 “fee” supplying goodly amounts of food which our friend Ging Gang Gooly took full advantage of as is his wont.
The merriment on board rapidly developed into an Aussie style party with the girls on one end of the boat and the guys at the other end trying to make themselves heard above the noise from the gals. There were a few spare bodies on the upper deck including Dirt Looney who was still off the piss (see below).
A great time was had by all – thanks to Squeeze for organizing the boat and to Milky Piss for the admin.
But back to Monday’s run. The hares promised the Walkers that their trail was flat – ha ha ha. Apart from a few ups and downs and some real jungle trekking, the trail was mostly flat up to the ¾ mark and then went sharply up hill for a fair distance. Luckily from there we were on a sweet path under the trees with distant views of Pattaya and Laem Chabang. Near the end we met Drinks Like a Girl who was taking his own photos and, maybe, worrying about the late arrival of the walkers?
I made the mistake of following a bunch of French who were so busy yakking they forgot to look for trail and we found ourselves at a dead end halfway up a stream bed with no trail.
After the split the runners went into the hills proper which led to some pretty exhausted looking guys and girls arriving back at the bucket around the 1 hour 30 mark. For the record Herring Choker was first closely followed by Boring Wanker.
Back at the bucket the hares (i.e. She’s The Boss) provided unannounced food – a sort of pasta and sausage stew. Hot Hope claimed a part in it but when questioned in more detail it appears her contribution was to stir the sauce.
Something Stupid was wearing a blue beret to cover his “very short” haircut – that’ll teach him to go to the barber’s when pissed. He looked like a French onion seller in his beret.
The GM opened the 2nd circle dressed in an all yellow rather gay attire. He promised that “you can see me come later” which led to a few of the girls leaving the circle just in case.
For his fashion parade he invited Belly Dancer (who, for once, had not volunteered to scribe) and then the virgin Vicky who did not find the ice to her liking!
Hash Trash saw The Wizard reunited with his sunglasses that he had left on the boat and Vicky got her bracelet returned that she had dropped on the run – so she was back on the ice again.
There were no takers for the butt plug that Milky Piss had found in Kubla’s after Wednesday’s post-boat On On
Dirt Looney got them off the ice with a rendition of “Have you ever seen your Granny making water” which I had not heard before. He was halfway through the song before I realised he was singing in English.
The Raffle was the most corrupt I have ever seen. First prize went to the Raffle Mistress herself. As YMCA remarked, “Why bother bringing the prizes to the run if you are going to take them home again?”
Fourth prize then went to Black Panther’s partner Boring Wanker so she effectively drew her own ticket.
As a side note it was baffling to see the tee-total Spastic Hawkins choosing the Chang???
Emperor Airhead then took the circle and, as usual, iced the hares, then all the Belgians to celebrate their Independence Day.
He then called in the gayly dressed GM for his antithesis to the Fashion Police known as the Ugly Mug award.
Necrophilia Night Rider came in to try and explain about his love life. Apparently, he has three 20-year-old girls on the go – one in Rayong, one in Ban Chang and one in Soi 6. How does he do it?
Bob a Gob gave a down down to Half a Dick – he presented him with the anal plug found earlier as a substitute for the missing half of his dick.
The Wizard called in all the racers from the weekend. For the record they were Dirt Looney and Anal Compulsion who had done the half marathon and Boring Wanker and Black Panther who had done the 10km run. Well done guys and girls.
Dirt Looney was disappointed with his time after 10 weeks of training and not drinking. He wasn’t sure if the hash photos would be on the website on Tuesday or Wednesday so he was obviously looking forward to making up for lost time in the bars of Pattaya.
Black Panther was heard to remark that her legs felt like jelly after finishing the full hash trail. There were some bawdy mutterings in the circle asking whether she wanted any cream to go with the jelly but I shall not descend to repeating such remarks here.
Airhead then called in the virgin Vicky (again) along with Squeeze. Apparently Vicky and Squeeze are cousins. So that makes GI Joe her uncle! Lucky Vicky. I hope Uncle Joe behaves himself at home and doesn’t walk round the house in a slightly too short towel.
The hare’s song was sung by Drinks Like a Girl using his phone as a prompt. He singled out Milky Piss as “He’s the meanest, he’s a turtlehead” with various verses of a libelous nature.
Then it was time for the final DD and the hash anthem in which GI Joe acted out his part with shades of Clockwork Orange and a very slow “coming”.
On On On was at the Kubla Bar – thanks Milky Piss.
On On Shit Lips