Scribe Report Hash Sheet – Run 2109 – 28.07.2025
Hares – Panzer Fister , Mai Mao
Hash Flash – Mayo Queen (Run) YMCA (Circle)
GM – Milky Piss
I have tried really hard to quit, I have cut down, I have avoided being present when it’s around, but I once again sat myself in the scribe’s chair.
The A site seemed to be ages away and with diversions to avoid heavy traffic it seemed to take over an hour for the first bus to arrive at the A site.
The trail itself was well received in fact everyone was impressed, a rare occasion indeed. I did the walk in the elevated company ‘mostly’ with YMCA, Hot Hope, Don’t call me Dick and Barnacle Bollox.
The first circle was opened by the GM
6 Virgins were welcomed to the circle 3 Young French guys who did not know that Napolean was Corsican, or who Robespierre and Voltaire were. In addition to two delightful Thai ladies (one of which was the sister, friend, or staff of Eating Monster) and William (from Oregon) whose ‘Uncle Larry’ is the legendary Ratso-Eel-Sniffer.
After the traditional meet and greet ‘Andy’ one of the French virgins was back in the circle with a ‘new shoes’ beer which he had to be assisted by Slippery French Tongue due to his poor new shoe beer drinking skills.
The first note sung
The Hash briefing was given by the GM
Gangreen announced that the beer hunters were available if anyone was up for the challenge.
The hares gave the run briefing and even kindly pointed us in the direction to start trail.
Without further ado we were off and I found myself in the midst of the walkers.
Very early on the delicate flower that is Hot Hope took a tumble and in a very ungentlemanly manner, Barnacle Bollox took great delight in claiming to have heard an expletive emitting from this same virginal damsel. (Something I do not believe).
The first runner back was Seal Sucker (‘see the paper and keep going’) followed by Herring Choker (‘I ran 20 km on Saturday, 10km in Bangkok and Seal Sucker still let GI Joe go out and break all the back checks. Tomorrow by 7am he will go out running again. I am so impressed with GI Joe’) and in bronze place Boring Wanker (‘I am the only honest one’)
The second circle shenanigans were begun by the GM
Those who were iced in no particular order
Fashion Police
Virgin Ute – Promoted Sargeant – spectacular leggings
Shithead – Promoted Sargeant – bright luminous yellow rave shirt
Hash Trash
Virgin Mike from Oregon – paper
Dragon - St Patricks Day shirt – initial denial but the squealer Black Panther was iced
Diaper Sniper – HHH sign with American Flag from some small celebration in early July
Hash Crashers
Hot Hope – a tragic tumble
GI Joe - a victim of the ruthless Seal Sucker no mercy asked no quarter given.
Shy Tiger – a fall from grace
Knob Marley – was distracted
Hares on Ice
The Hares were roundly praised for the trail and for being generally lovely people.
Virgin on Ice
French virgin Andy came to notice again, this time for talking and was bucketed but he cried like a girl and was shown mercy by the kindly old man who is The Wizard
Raffel – Compared by the delightful Black Panther
The ever-thoughtful Muff Designer donated a lovely mystery box
Winners – Two Time (chose the mystery box which seemed to contain used sex toys and a magazine), Panzer Fister, Barnacle Bollox, Hot Hope, Leg Over, Chip Chip, The Wizard (minor faux pas as to beer etiquette led to him being iced) and one of the Virgin Frenchie’s.
Emperor Airhead – took on the circle and the Hares were put on the ice
He noted that Panzer Fister the former ‘wildman’ of the Teutonic Forest had been tamed by his delightful paramour.
Stupid Kraut Cunt’s youthful looks were roundelay praised putting both Elton John and Keith Richards to shame and Eating Monster brought out a cake with candles.
Virgin Frenchie William – managed to win the mantle of ‘idiot’ by bucketing himself. However, all Three French Virgins were good sports and were given a drinks card for 10 free kamikazes’ at TQ (how apt)
Knob Marley, Big Lungs, Seagull Shit were iced
Beer Police were thanked for their hard work by being iced as well
Awards
Black Panther – 50 runs
Hoi Wan – 20 hares shirt
The Wizard in his new mantle of all round softy, took over the circle and immediately called for the nominated ‘Wanker of Week’
In a miscarriage of justice on an epic scale I found myself on ice; next to Stupid Kraut Cunt, Muff Designer and Mayo Queen. Mayo Queens hairdresser malfunction won the wooden spoon easily
Stupid Kraut Cunt was also given a ‘ugly mug award’ which seemed to be the same colour as his hair.
Without a song the hares sat on the ice but the songbird who is Shit Head once again gave another heart-warming and fuzzy feelgood rendition of Jones Town
Freddy Kreuger formally known as Jeff Haas didn’t come to notice but his name looks nice in print.
It was also a pleasure to see Pink Head in the circle after a long absence.
The Wizard gathered the Final Down Down and closure
On On - So Long, Farwell, Adieu, Who the Fuck Am I