Another hot one. Unusual cloud formations. Brand new A site and, as promised, no shade. And no GM. Apparently went home to watch the final England - India test at the Oval. He can't have been too pleased when England fell short by 6 runs.
Hares the Wizard (also stand-in GM), Something Stupid and virgin hare, the incongruously named Little Sparrow. Big Crow more like it!
New shoes christened, although off-white in appearance, GI Joe declared them blue, so blue it is. 'Volunteer' scribe found and virgin Drew from Louisianaa introduced. 'Tell us a bit about yourself' "Well I've got a fat sister who spends most of her day on the couch". Leave her in Baton Rouge was the consensus.
Found myself part of a quartet with VV, Big Lungs and Madam Two Time for much of the trail. Handy at times to have other pairs of eyes looking for trail, especially at one point where markings were absent for a bit and transitioned without notice from shredded to hanging proper. Trail skirted a large body of water surrounded by cliffs. Water was a turquoise colour but looked quite toxic. Other natural features encountered were tapioca and rubber plantations - unremarkable really, these seem to feature on just about every r*n.
Circle up! In the absence of Milky Piss no fashion police award. And the run? Dingo Ate My Baby had hunted beer. Who the Fuck Am I missed the split. Hot Hope and Ball Ringer said good. Heard the sad story of a tree being chopped down on the runner's trail, covering a trail marking so the poor dears had to run extra distance, urged on by the local farmer who had probably cut down the tree in the first place.
Hash crashes? Boring Wanker, Squeeze My Tubes and Hot Hope, none sporting signs of injury. Hot hope blamed the fall on it being too hot, having weak legs and finally being pushed over by Seal Sucker and Herring Choker. Keep well clear of these bullies!
Lost property consisted of a pair of size 43 Nikes. No provenance and no claimant, so awarded to Seal Sucker as they seemed to fit him. He was made to sit on ice then stand in the bucket, which he probably enjoyed after hot footing it around the 10 kms of runners trail and, as is not unusual, finishing first.
Raffle. Sexy Butterfly wins red wine, Something Clever socks and a sports towel. Some slow learners claim prizes wearing bags or bearing beers (Mai Mao), and sit on ice. Knob Marley claims the last prize, a six pack of beer.
Emperor Airhead takes over and ices the hares again. Complains about the poorly laid signs to the A site, blames and renames Something Stupid. New name Super Stupid. Usual roll call of nationalities. Thanks to Super Stupid we had some extra ladies from France, also part of the Stupid family, all of which was put on ice, including Something Clever (real name I discovered was the beautiful Breton name Armelle) and the soon-to-be named Jeanne. She ended up with Something Younger. Homeless Pete, who had previously done a H3 run in the Philippines, was told he could consider PH3 his mother hash. Eh?
Wizard on ice for 40 hared runs. This is equivalent to haring every week for 10 months. Back to the Wizard. Boring Wanker got nominated for (boring) Wanker of the week for going home early. "Let me explain" - bucket! Flying Dick Truck Fucker was punished for running past cattle last week. Seagull Shit iced for arriving at the A site after the pack had left. Blamed poor signage. Super Stupid in action again. Also singled out for showing up for a 5 hour trail laying session without hat or water. I forgot. Maybe the new moniker will stick....
Visitor Pete iced for no hash shirt. Took off his non-hash shirt and was offered a real one, but it was a bit miffy so the GM kindly gave it a good rinse in the bucket before he put it on. Usual wrap-up then on after at Kubla Bar.
On on shitHead