So, the Halloween Run was run a few days before the actual date (Oct 30th) but who cares? Stepping up to the mark to set the run was The Wizard and Slug ably assisted by Burley Chassis and with excellent food kindly sponsored by Slug and Pussy Galore. The “mystery hare” turned out to be Gasman.
The first circle started in the dry but with dark clouds building behind the trees and the occasional rumble of thunder. There were two virgins, a Froggie and a local Thai lady. The former was wearing what looked like pantomime glasses – a sort of cross between Larry Grayson and Dame Edna – but which are, I suppose, the height of fashion somewhere.
New shoes brought in the same Thai virgin whose beau (for the day) was Swallow from Hammersley Hash who volunteered to drink on her behalf. Not sure if he was named correctly said the GM after a piss poor drinking performance.
The other new shoes was that lady whose name I can never remember – you know, the one with the big front. Anyway, she started drinking well but then found her shoelace going down her throat along with the beer. So it was more spit than swallow. She obviously needs more practice with something bigger than a shoelace. Form a queue guys.
Off went the runners and walkers – all of whom got wet feet within the first km. By all accounts both runs were well marked and not too long. First walkers were home within the hour – Flying Dick Truck Fucker who came in on trail and She’s the Boss who shortcutted.
The last home were the beer hunters who seemed to have had some problems getting the baht bus drivers to stop at the nearest Mom and Pop shops.
BB hove to as I was getting ready to scribe under my umbrella. He asked if he could co scribe – in Braille – but this was just a ploy to help himself to the official scribe chair for the rest of the evening. The extent of his write up is a follows “…………………………………..”.
Appropriately he was the first man on the ice for snitching on Fattus Maximus as a hash crash which the latter denied. Never mind. Fat Max was soon on the ice for Hash Trash for a hat which he can’t remember how or where he lost it.
Scar with 2 T’s took the circle to ice the hares. As he had on his Halloween face mask his enquiries around the circle were very muffled. Knob Marley’s answer to “Mumble mumble mumble?” was “About 6.15pm”. Scar then terrified the little boy who ran to his hide behind his Mother, Dumb Ass. Shame on you, Scar.
Emperor Airhead took the circle and apologized for his “costume”. He had silver foil up to his knees and he said he was going to be a roast turkey but the rest of the costume didn’t work. I wondered if he was mixing up Thanksgiving and Halloween?
The judging of the male costumes was short and sweet – only 3 contenders and Scar went off with a bottle of red.
The ladies were also in short supply with only 4 in full costume. Three in black with Telly Tubby looking particularly frightening and Red Angel in white. The Bride of the Living Dead (thanks Dirt Looney) won.
After the traditional icing of the hares where we learnt that Burley Chassis and The Wizard met in prison – say no more! – there was a good story about Mama San’s Big Boy and Fairy Queen who were very pissed in town one evening and both chucking up in a deserted alley when they realized they didn’t know where they were. They thought they were some way from the bar they had been drinking in but that was all they could piece together. Fortunately MMSBB had his phone on him and rang his Dad who was able to rescue them both as they were merely round the corner from where they had left him.
Great acclaim for VV, Knob Marley and 2 Pricks who had won the drinking competition and the “hold the beer stein at arms length” competition at the recent hash in the Philippines.
Ball Ringer was recognised for his 1000 runs with the hash – well done!
Scar took the circle and iced your Scribe who was wearing his best Halloween shirt (which happened to be a Swamp Shirt). I was tempted to fill the rest of the scribe’s report telling everyone what a BASTARD Scar is but I shall rise above such petty name calling.
The GM put all the birthday boys and girls on the ice – all 7 of them!
The circle went to Sheik Meme who iced Salad Dodger, MSBB and Gasman. The ice groaned a bit at the load it had to carry at that point. S.Meme then produced his annual environmental award which he seemed undecided on until MSBB said he had a Tesla in Norway.
The GM took the circle back and managed to get Evey (Burley Chassis), BB, VV and TV on the ice – try saying that lot after a few beers.
Then it was time for the Hares’ Song led by Gasman to the Addams Family tune.
Finally, the Final Down Down and the Hash Anthem and a late night ride home for all.
On On to next week Shit Lips