It was a short bus journey out from the centre of Pattaya to the A site located next to the soft ball park and good for the girls to graze also being next to Pattaya’s busiest airport with an aerial display by some nutty guy with a parachute and a lawn mower engine strapped to his back.
The sole hare Hell Boy for today’s run who had stepped in at the last minute to save the day.
Anyway the circle called by our GM so that virgins & new shoes could be dealt with and Are You Sure presents Chicken Legs with some flowers for finding his bag 2 weeks ago, I think 500 baht would have been better.
Then a little guidance from the hare Hell Boy about paper and checks and off we went into the distance passing rampaging elephants and herds of wilder beast sweeping majestically across the plain,
There was some confusion at the second check with hashers going off in different directions and not regrouping on one common trail and as it turns out half the hashers ran the trail backwards.
Back at the A site after the run Uncle Pervy’s tail gate beers where going down well especially the peach flavoured one and many tales especially the one from Baby Wipes of how he set up his chain of 4 sex shops in Aus and his staff interviewing tactics.
There seemed to be a lot of whining & whingeing from the cheese & wine circle, it was something about the cooking and the wine.
The GM calls the circle and ices Hell Boy for a quick explanation for his run but decides to leave him for the bad RA to deal with and it was on to the raffle by Seaman Swallow with winners being Fucking Dog, Baby Wipes, Headless Chock, Ferry Queen, Stupid Kraut Kunt, Uncle Pervy & then Golden Dildo winning 3 prizes.
Anniversaries where called in for Arse-A-Holic with 300 runs and Sir Terminal 4 Skin notching up 550 runs, well done lads.
I myself, Absolutely No Fucking Idea was iced for being a lying leaver but its not like air tickets haven’t been changed at the last minute before when you are about to leave Thailand and go back to our own country’s.
Then the circle was handed to the bad RA Sir Airhead who promptly ice the sole hare Hell Boy and threw one of his black sheep buddies Sir Frog on the ice with him as a surrogate co- hare because Hell Boy said that he wanted to be the lead hare and no one else was up too scratch to assist him.
So then came the views for the run that went backwards, overall it was considered to be a good run, a little fucked up but if hashers follow proper trails and paper then all is fine and all will return, well done Hell Boy you pulled it off.
Next for a little treatment from the bad RA was Golden Dildo ice for behaving like the true old time hashers of the past, out getting drunk and shagging anything in a skirt or with out one as clothing is not a standard item in many of Golden Dildo’s drinking holes, who as you read this will be back in Canada to give the ladies of Pattaya a well deserved rest until his next holiday, is there nothing that can stop this man, maybe only a golden tequila or 2 or 3 or.
Next for the ice was the turn of Stupid Kraut Kunt as he is prospecting to become a member of the black sheep flock, so all the black sheep where on the ice with him as Stupid Kraut Kunt thought that he would impress them with the biggest bottle of red wine that he could get (for 100 baht) but being a beer drinking German he did not know the difference between table wine and Cooking Wine unlike the regular wine drinking flock, guys what did they expect as he does have Stupid at the beginning of his name!
I also heard them complaining that the caviar that he bought tasted a little fishy and that the cheese just tasted like mouldy milk! But at least you guys got a free beer on the ice to make up for it.
Also leaving this week are Cabbage Flaps and Cabbage Knievil who where iced by Sir Chicken Fucker for 36 years of marriage but they are not giving away their secret to this success, its all kept hush hush with these two but then maybe that’s their secret.
Ferry Queen was iced to inquire about his black eye and it was some tale about a Pattaya mad house and a glory hole, what ever that is!
Some Italian virgin was iced for the second time by Sir Frog, first time in the bucket to cool him down and shrink his nuts down to size and the second time for phoning our former GM Sir Frog about the Monday PH3 and just as he was with his fine lady friend or someone else fine lady friend and about to pull his vinegar stroke even though it was widely thought around the circle that it was the sound of an Italian on the other end of the phone is what made the Sir Frog shoot his bolt.
The Malacca Orang-Utan Hasher’s came in the circle, not literally but to sing their down down song and invite all to their 500th run.
Then their GM Rasputin was joined by Festering Streaker and Sheik MeMe both GMs of Hash’s for a down down contest through straws which was won by the professional drinking Australian Sheik MeMe.
It was then time for the Hash hymn and then On On to The TQ for hot dogs and tequila.
On On
Absolutely No Fucking Idea