Reaching the A-Site for this weeks run along Highway seven was a Hash by itself with Steptoe and me passing the sign at the exit two times just arriving for the start of the run I heard Sir Chicken Fucker later muttering, I didn’t see the sign but my son spotted it luckily (probably with binoculars!). The signs couldn’t have been smaller and darker so just to irritate the community. Anyhow the A Site was scenic, right in the middle of an “abandoned housing estate” with electricity poles standing around like the Obelisk in Stanley Kubriks Odyssey 2000, remains from another lost world.
The run started through flat fields and bushes, ran along No. 7 Highway in the distance, had swamps (uuhhggg again) and the obligatory tapioca fields and eventually venturing backwards to the A-Site through a lush forest where the Hares planted the paper “strings” (I mean it, just one! string is enough) along the branches. The Hares must have run out of paper or deliberately thought to give walkers like Emperor Airhead this little extra enjoyment of finding the paper without binoculars. Even seasonal FRB’s like Karamba and Jello Butt quit and lost the trail although we had a hash horn upfront running this time as well as G.I. Joe, the hash horn in persona as usual to be heard from anywhere around the pack ON ONs with his stunning voice and scares the snakes away for us. Newsflash of the week: Stock markets falling, Thaksin is buying Cambodia and Ball Ringer is in Memorial hospital! It must have been a tough week after the Bush Hash and the Jungle Monkey Hash, this week had some casualties. Furthermore, latest news surfaced that the Turkish Premier and the German Chancellor called off the Semi Final at Euro 2008 and decided to join forces, not to contend and rather appear as a joint team (as 10 Mio Turks (a little inflated though) live in Germany and 8 Mio Germans spend their holidays in Turkey and will go through to the final with the new contenders name of Turkmania. Anyway, Berlin will party on the night anyhow. Good luck Turkmania!
Down Down’s : The GM Spaghetti calls in the FRB’s (Karamba, Jello Butt, G.I. Joe and Beverly Hills Pink Cock who was awarded today’s scribe) after which today’s Hares Fucking Dog and Ice Butt Bunny had the pleasure to be iced. Well these Norwegians like ice anyway, so next time we bring a hot plate for them to sit on to make them really suffer!! Next Ice Butt Bunny again for contributing various raffle items. And ON ON to Tadpole’s stand-in Raffle Draw for Seaman Swallow who appears to be on a secret mission…. with a note for the winners. Then it was Jail Baits 50th run Down Down and Emperor Airheads well-deserved Scandihooligan Award (I guess we will see the metal plate in TQ 1 proudly nailed to the wall soon and the T-Shirt reprinted in thousand fold to be sold to all visiting Scandinavians and Russians along Beach Road). Then it was a Down Down for the Birthday boys and girl Knob Marley, Jail Bait and Jan Licker. (well what is the difference between men and women getting older??? Women get older whereas men get more experienced!) Then it was on to award the Returnee’s (long time no see) Poncho the Pervert who came back from Hua Hin after buying into the newly proposed condo project next to the King’s (the real one) palace, as well as Dog Licks its Dick and someone I missed. Next were the 5 Visitors from La Union, Angeles and the mighty Kingdom of Guam for Down Downs in line. The Harkins Group came in to bless his Virgins, two kids in tow.
Then it was Emperor Airheads award ceremony who ices the Hares Fucking Dog and Ice Butt Bunny for an all in all good run in an excellent spot but miserable signs alongside the highway, oh boys. Please provide binoculars before next hared run or simply black fat letters on yellowish background. Then Harkins was iced again for spreading dogshit in Airheads room and according to the crowds demand placed in the bucket after emptying all his pockets (gosh how can somebody carry so many items in his pocket which even surprised his luvely wife).
Circle back to the GM who ices Apple’s Turnover, Karamba, Mrs. Head and Queen Stella to tell a joke about turpentine for the motorcyclists. Continued by Knob Marley who ices the Monkey Heroes Spag Head, Karamba, Sheik MeMe and VV in order to find out who is responsible for Ball Ringers hospitalization as well as Katoy Anal Masturbater and Brown Ring Licker for sins committed on the Hash.
Following the GM ices the Americans G.I. Joe, King Yao Yao, Dog licks its Dick and Seagull Shit. Continued by Sheik MeMe who ices Fat Fuck (for his nice new Hash name) and Jello Butt for not admitting he missed the trail. Then it was VV on the ice wanting to get rid of his all beloved black para mili boots and Karambas offer to lend him his ones until they are replaced. Then Bam Bam ices all those who admitted to driving to the A Site Fucking Dog, King Yao Yao, Mrs. Head and presents the drivers version of the “Jingle Bells” song. I guess that Bam Bam, instead of playing football like usual in his childhood, was an active member of the Welsh male choir of Western Australian plains to train his voice to become a respective hash singer challenging greatly Sir Chicken Fucker in this capacity who got his classical training at the Academy of St Mariners in the Fields. Next was Knob Marley for his 38th Birthday (that’s what he told me) receives a cake and blows the candles like a punter and the forgotten ones: Sir Chicken Fucker, Free Willy (we always miss him because of his tiny body stature) and 1 Virgin with the GM telling another joke about stuttering.
Sir Chicken Fucker ices the Visitor Captain Kangaroo who doesn’t know what the bucket is all about, drowns his shoes and let him feel the bucket and make him infected with his shoe bugs. Now he knows and best he joins Ball Ringer in the hospital. Karamba, Katoy Anal Masturbator and Apples Turnover iced and the New Hash Bunny Flash to decide which of them is the cutest cock in town (no its not the Pink Cock). Hares on the ice again with Sir Chicken Fucker entertaining with the “Vagina Song”. It was the final call for the Hash Hymn and On On to Classroom 2.
See you all next week.
On On
Beverly Hills Pink Cock