Spag needs help (we all know that), having no desire to see the GM grovel and being a kind and generous sort, I agree to write a brief run review. Call it a view from the back of the pack.
Fucking Dog explains the usual Monday format in detail and it’s off down the road, a right turn – or was it left? – onto a track and then more tracks. In fact the run is almost all tracks and trails. Nice running for the front which quickly disappears into the distance while General Kidney Wiper and I bring up the rear with the girls. Paper is pretty easy to follow, unlike some of the Dogs earlier efforts. Eventually the General and I get all the parts moving and we make an effort to actually run a bit.
The General quickly loses me, but crossing the black top (we do that a lot) I find Squeeze My Tube along some dusty trail through the tapioca. The rest of the run is pretty much like that, tracks and trails, cross the black top, more tracks and trails, etc. The checks must have been pretty good as we, SMT and myself, start to catch some of the front runners. A very scenic trail up and around the back of a hill and onto the final check.
This one never does get properly solved. After a False Trail and some to and froing, I’m out on the main road watching the front mill about. Tadpole is across the road in the weeds looking for a place to squat and pee while the quitters have taken the obvious option and are headed down the road towards the A Site. Being a determined sort, I dive back into the bush to revisit the check. Alone, but not lost, I take an obvious track headed in the direction of the A Site. I don’t find paper, but I do find Greyhound and SMT gamely trying to actually solve the check. No paper, so we exit onto the black top and head for home. A short jog up to the corner and paper, on paper down the road dodging the ten wheelers and exit into the eucalyptus. A lovely loop through the trees and it’s On In. A little heavy on the black top, but nice work by the Hares.
For a real run report complete with tales of false trails etc., I suggest the GM assign that duty to the first in of the front runners. Visualize it, a half dozen of the over achieving FRB's shuffling about 100 meters from the A Site waiting for someone else to cross the line FIRST. Old Jello Butt would piss himself.
On On
King Yao Yao
The Circle: GM called the circle and iced today’s hares: F’n Dog and Stinky Sloppy Seconds. Good reviews from the hasher’s but, Emperor Airhead would handle later. Ewok conducted the raffle in the absence of Seaman Swallow in an outstanding manner. Raffle winner’s were: No More Cum (who was iced for not having a hash shirt on), Sausage Queen, Muffin, Bam Bam, Stinky Sloppy Seconds, German Shepherd, General Kidney Wiper, Absolutely No Fucking Idea, Free Willy, Garbage Collector, and Bottomless Pit (free run ticket).
Normal business conducted: Awards as per the stats information. Visitors, Returnee’s, Leaver’s – in and welcomed!
Emperor Airhead in: iced hares and tried to find out who was responsible for run, paper, food, A-site, etc. But, it was deny, deny, deny! Run voted a good run – in normal F’n Dog fashion! Beer Police
iced: Estonia F’r and Wim Deforche. Wim volunteered for the 2nd week in a row. Estonia F’r was seen trying to catch a chicken during the run, and as he could not, picked and peeled a poor farmer’s pineapple! He was caught by the elephant mahout who demanded the pineapple for his elephant. Estonia F’r told him to FO and ran away before the elephant and mahout could catch him! Estonia F’r was awarded a Hash Shit for “Disrespect to Thai’s and Thai culture”!
Seaman Stains was iced and falsely accused of leaving a “pink HHH sign” in the jungle two weeks ago. Being pink, the sign was determined to belong to Fini The Faggot who hared just last week. Fini was joined on the ice by his fellow Black Sheep: No More Cum, Lone Wolf, and Miserable C to receive his “Hash Trash” award.
GM brought Muffin and his virgin (Kari Siekkinen – who was shit housed) in and tried to explain the duties of a sponsor/virgin relationship!
After Kari showed “his family jewels” to the circle, the GM wrestled him into the bucket!
Festering Streaker in: iced German Shepherd, No More Cum, and Miserable C. FS determined that German Shepherd did not s—t his pants during the run but, ran completely thru all the elephant s—t that was on the trail.
It was a different story, as to No More Cum, was heard telling many tales of his adventure to Amsterdam recently. It seems that he was “in the s—t” and not on trail. This was verbally confirmed by Miserable C.
FS iced: Garbage Collector, Estonia F’r and told story about Garbage Collector “misappropriating” PVC during a recent Bush run. Estonia F’r was iced “so a fellow kamooi” would not be lonely on the ice. Rabid Bitch iced for not washing his smelly running shirt worn on Saturday.
His defense was that “it was his favorite shirt with his and Festering Streaker’s pictures on it. Rule 6, I believe! Absolutely No F’n Idea iced: story told about his hash name change from “No F’n Idea” to “Absolutely NFI” by Festering Streaker – just because his girlfriend did not like it.
Sir Chicken F’r in: iced Arse Hopper and Pig Pusher Swine Stabber to determine if they could be “would be rapist’s”. After much discussion, the rumor was false! Miserable C iced – story told about his being lost while “sail boarding” recently. They wanted a rescue group to go out to find him because he may have drowned. The rescue group said, “not to worry about MC drowning” as it could not possibly happen “because s—t floats”! Daglocks iced: no hash shirt! But, SCF iced himself when he discovered Daglocks owned the land that the PSC softball group played on each week! Shame on you SCF. G.I. Joe and Squeeze My Tube iced for talking about sex during the circle.
Seaman Stains sang the Hare song “Ugly”. Barnacle Bollox given a double down-down for telling the same joke 2 weeks in a row! Seaman Stains called in the Black Sheep to assist him in doing the Hash Hymn.
The circle ended with the bus departing to TQ1 for “hot dogs”and beer!
The question remains: Did anyone witness Ping Pong Pete doing his disappearing “bikini pouch” routine?
On-On until next week! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from the PH3 Mismanagement.