Thanks mostly to BALL RINGER, SPAG HEAD and MALCOLM of P.J.'s superb restaurant in Soi KowNoi, I awoke this morning with the mother of all hangovers!
To add insult to injury I remember agreeing to scribe!
Our 25th birthday is today! and the numbers turning out are impressive, as they were too for the Bush 100th on Saturday and the Sunday jungle.
The A site is X X X (triple X rated) and cleverly close to town. It comes with good grass, shade, parking, ODD-JOB'S lights, tables and B.Pitt's mobile7/11 beer truck.
Anticipationis high for a clever run given all the hares combined experience. We were notto bedisappointed. A nice trick in the first field known as the "fan effect"
worked very well, immediately followed by a loop for the 10 now new F.R.B. fools like G.SHEPHERD and PIG PUSHER SWINE STABBER. G.I. JOE and I were smart or lucky enough? to just miss being the tail end of above said fools. I commented to G.I. that it would be surprising if anybody could
honestly say they ran the whole paper today as the clever hares had also started using the "snake effect" in most of the open ground.
Racing along behind us was that REAR GUNNER, UP THE BUTT with FROZEN BOLLOX. Doesn't he know that SEAMAN STAINS,
even the STINKY SLOPPY SECONDS too ! Far better and less messy apparently is a SEAMAN SWALLOW.
Poor old CABBAGE KNIEVEL went M.I.A. again, this meant his better half, CABBAGE FLAPS was seen flapping about with concern after the run, again!
Just how close to the Colorful Insect Zoo were we? again.
Pushing on now with good mate FINI THE MAGGOT, heISa very knowledgeable chapregarding this areas geology, rock formations andits quarries etc.I turn backward momentarily to spot that REAL SADISTIC BASTARD going down a BOTTOMLESS PIT! (rule 6 again ! B.P.)
On to the next, check were surprise surprise, out of no where, (the bushes),pops TAMPAX with his new lady, orshould we saygirl? and BAM BAM,
calling On On! It must follow that they too, know this area inside out ?Or perhaps, they have been having short cutting lessons from LORD LUCAN?
Pushing on again, BEVERLY HILLS PINK COCK with his polka dot pajamas goes past, a bit of a LONE WOLF and a MISERABLE CUNT that German,
not sure if he isn't a bit of an ARSE HOPPER too! Amazingly I find myself at the front for the first time with GERMAN SHEPHERD, KARAMBA, and G.I. JOE.
(checks were working real good!) G.I. guess right and goes left, F.T.'s for G.SHEPHERD and KARAMBA, and a load of bloody mud for me! No rain for eight weeks and yet I still find some shiggy to step in!
All said and done a good and clever run was to be the verdict later. BAM BAM and I look forward to co haring with ODD-JOB soon, as his technology's and mapping skills far surpassour rusty old compass skills!(What on earth is Google Earth?)
Beer o'clock time, and so we start downing Pattaya's favourite amber nectar San Miguel Light. The top quality A site food is from P.J's. and has every body DRIPPY at the mouth. Off to one side of the food, i spot Dr DICK, WANKING his EXTRA TESTICLE! Also hovering about and talkingwhat his name implies, is FUCK THE TRUTH. "STREAKER, I can't afford to sign up for the Monkey run, can I please, please, please have another cigarette, oh yes a light too, please, lawyers are poor people these days." My advice to him, "stop spendingyour savings at the plastic surgeon and the hair salon!"
The G.M. SAG HEAD calls the circle and then gives it to ourx G.M. FLYING FROG. He punishes offenders and congratulates the hares.
My brain is a little foggyfrom here out asthe circle was 75%finished whenSAG HEAD comes up to me and says " why are you not writing anything down?" My response "You told me scribe the run, and you would do the circle bit?" "Oh Shit, miss understanding." My apologies now, to any of those whotook the circle if i have forgotten you!EMPEROR AIRHEAD on in, he ices GERMAN SHEPHERD to find out why he stayed in a cheap hotel for new years eve? namely that of the "Bangkok Hilton". It so transpires he drove over a girls shoe and crushed it whilst her foot was still in it!
S.C.F. did his flirting as usual, but took things to a new level today, namley that of groping! Visiting lady hasher's beware!
Aserious breastmolestation took place. (three or four times!) Dangerous, when one considers the size of her husband, thank heavens he was a good sport!
FREE WILLY is running about with his tool bag of dildos and assorted attachments! FUCKING DOG (probably shot dead by now!) kisses the ice where this very hot Russian girl had sat, then his heart stops as she shows him some arse close up. (too many PISSED POLE DANCER cookies for you Walter !)
Seaman Stains gives us a great rendition of the no eggs, no money, or even honey song, famously sangexactly oneyear ago by the CABBAGE family with guitar
accompaniment. BAM BAM gives us another good song except we were all supposed to join in and nobody new the tune ...
Hash hymn next and on to the bus for the townies and visiting hashers going to the great On ON venue of Jameson's, where Kim, BIG CHIEF WOMB MASTER no doubt would see all well fed again.. thanks to Kim, Malcolm, the haresand the miss management from us all, for a great event,
On On
Festering Streaker