Bit of a drive out on the Phoenix Golf Club Road, almost to the 331. Well worth it because the running area that the hares had chosen was good hashing country. 16.50 hrs – Fini the Faggot leads us out across the road from the A-site to the beginning of the paper. Off we went! With a few of the front running bastards absent, it was quite a leisurely pace and most enjoyable as I hit the front a couple of times. Checks were well placed and one could tell that a lot of effort and thought had been put into this run – a bit like the old days runs. Jello Butt at one check went the wrong way, but decided to carry on and put his mountain goat skills to use – and managed to get on track again. The farmers had turned over the soil in many of their fields and so some of the running was reduced to walking, but no chance to get your breath back as most of it was uphill. We came across a couple of shameless snakes copulating in the sun and they did not seem to mind that they had a number of spectators. The views and vistas of the area were very fine and I wish that I had taken my camera with me. Jen (wife of GI Joe) is a good hasher finding paper where others cannot and always calling ON ON – where many others do not! 17.40 hrs – and I can see the A-site and smell the beer and sweaty bodies. Barnacle Bollox and Fini the Faggot had done a great job of scouting and laying the run, very well done! ON ON Chris (Babywipes) Bedding
The circle:
As the full moon was beginning to rise, Free Willy started the circle and promptly iced the hares: Barnacle Bollox and Fini The Faggot! Shouts of evil, clever, good run, hard work filled the air around the circle! But, as you already know, the Emperor would pass the final verdict! He was already talking to Bottomless Pit to get the “Hash Shit” seats ready – and he wasn’t even in the circle yet! There’s something about the color pink that gets his blood to boiling!
Seaman Swallow began the raffle and quickly iced SCF’r for creating a disturbance by showing “porn photo” around the circle. Winner’s included: German Shepherd, Empty Spermbank, Beep Beep, Naughty Frog, Liberace, Bam Bam, Espen Hansen, Squeeze My Tube, Frog Licks Its Dick (2-FRT), and Seaman Stains (who also got to cool his tail on the ice). Swallow always knows how to take care of his “hot flashes”.
Free Willy handed out the awards: Fini – 40 hared runs; Cabbage Flaps and Cabbage Knievel – 50 Runs; Chicken Nugget – 450 Runs. Sir CF’r entered and conferred “Knighthood” on “Sir Spaghetti Head” – 500 Runs.
Emperor Airhead entered carrying the dreaded “hash shit” seats! Evil, but clever; good run, nice area, etc. etc. But, then the “sky fell in”! Tell us about “wood and rocks” painted pink? Oh, what excuses came from the hares! The famous song – “It all sounds like BS to me” echoed around the circle! Everyone knew the 1st Hash Shit of the year was about to happen – but, once again the Emperor let it slide! He’s getting soft in his old age! Great run hares! Thanks for the hard work!
The Emperor continued by icing the Beer Police – Wank-King’s Wanker and Icy Davidson who he referred to as the “Chain Gang Police”! They didn’t pop any cans of beer but, ensured that they were popped before hashers left the truck area! Fini was in the bucket during this time for talking while the Emperor was speaking!
Free Willy handled the returner’s, leaver’s, and visitors and proceeded to check on the “virgins and sponsors”! Someone wanted to know where he could get “a maid” just like (Meuy)the one in the circle!
SCF’r brought all “San Mig” beer drinkers into the circle – more than 25 entered! Jello Butt – who had 3 San Mig’s in his hand decided to stay out – but, SCF’r quickly had him take a seat in the bucket! Miserable C was iced for attempting to “sell his hash mugs” – but, the Black Sheep convinced him to have them melted down and made into a serving tray for the BS parties. Turd Burglar and his brother Retard Wanker iced and story told about TB waiting at Jameson’s, on Thursday, for the Mismanagement Meeting and spending lots of baht! Only problem was the MMM was held on Weds.
Squeeze My Tube in and accused of “short-cutting” through the young pineapple plants! Not guilty was the verdict! She was only “tip-toeing” thru the tulips and not the pineapple plants. SCF’r conferred new names on: Patcha Prakobkit – Airy Pussy; and Per Soderlund – Doesn’t Touch The Sides.
Festering Streaker iced Retard Wanker and Really Sadistic Bastard and enlightened the circle that they had a total 450 runs between them and only 1 hare! It seems that some people need to help share the PH3 load! Or was that – “not be a heavy load”! Sir Frog entered and iced about everyone! Noteworthy, was the story about Sir Frog buying a pedal bike on the “black market” and receiving a call from Fini about his just being stolen. Damn if Sir Frog didn’t just buy “hot goods”! At least he offered to sell it back to Fini at a reduced cost of only 10,000 baht!
Sir Frog iced Bam-Bam and told about his volunteering to try and fill a pair of “size 23” shoes (belonging to Clit Face) with his “size 9” feet! Only the “Ho-Ho, Jolly Green Giant” can do that! But, Bam-Bam is at least giving it his best shot! Jello Butt iced Beep Beep and Fuzzy Lure and disclosed the truth of why Fuzzy Lure has kept her around so long! It seems that Beep Beep was Fuzzy Lure’s business “accountant” for many many years! Talk about having your “balls in a vise” for the rest of your life! Wow!
The hares sang their hare song assisted by many assistants! Sir Spaghetti Head, Seaman Stains, and others conducted the Hash Hymn and the bus was off to “downtown Pattaya”! At least the driver didn’t have to wait for Sheihk MeMe this week! A great time was had by all.