Monday run #1314, Hellboy and Mae West.
Monday runs are meant to be short which was a relief to the runners who did the death march on Saturday (Bush run).
Hellboy and his better looking co-hare tried to explain in broken English or German, something about rain and paper which translated to mean the rain may have washed away the paper which resulted in 2 finish groups, one coming in on paper (Cabbage Patch & Sheikh MeMe) and the other group coming in across the field (Mud Cracker, Karamba etc) both groups finishing first. (At least we found the out trail Bam Bam).
The first check was broken quickly and Ball Ringer lead the way down a false trail when he ran out of paper, but I don't think he can tell the difference between paper and plastic. We re tracked and got back onto the track and came round the corner and found a couple of gay sailors tip toeing through the water hand in hand (Sheikh MeMe and Rear Gunner) but what else would you expect from an air hostess and pilot, they are both probably in the Mile High Gay Club, very exclusive or maybe not many people want to be in this club.
Really Sadistic Bastard turned back at the water, said he had a sore foot but probably could swim, the water came up to peoples ankles only, good excuse for a Chang Beer.
A pick up truck had driven off the road, he had probably been distracted by the 2 gay air industry people heading back to the airfield hanger.
The run had a few more checks which were broken quickly and back to the dual finish.
Hash crash has to go to 2 runners: Big Flaps for slipping on a file on the dance floor and Smiling Brown Spider for putting his back out whilst bending over to get his bag out of the car, real iron men.
On On
Rectum
The Circle:
Free Willy as per usual iced the hares, run declared to be OK.
Seaman Swallow iced a few sinners during the raffle, Airhead: Fowl Fucker: Pelvic Thruster for being noisy bastards.
Emperor Airhead again ices the hares, and due to their recent marriage, he renames Mae West: Hell Girl so she can feel more a part of the Hell Family. He then iced Dererlick and Bottomless Pit and accused both of Beer Abuse, awarded Dererlick Hash shit for throwing a lit cigarette into a rubbish bin and using beer to put out the ensuing inferno. Bottomless Pit accused of leaving a full can of Chang next to Chicken Legs BBQ to get hot, claimed it wasn't his and it was opened to christen new shoes, but one was a non-drinking Muslim and the other also a non-drinker, so didn't get used, he was given the benefit of the doubt.
Free Willy iced 2 Farang virgins Jan Olsen: Peter Smith: and their sponsors & leaver Fowl Fucker. He then brings in the anniversaries, Sir Chicken Fucker 900 runs, awards 150 run mug to Pig Pusher Swine Stabber and honours Kidney Stone's impending 11th birthday.
Mud Cracker, ices Karamba for dieting and going to the gym so he can beat MC, Karamba was first back today, he then placed SCF reiterating last weeks claims that SCF had been seen in Boystown, calling Doesn't Touch The Sides into the circle to provide photographic evidence.
Sheik Me Me takes the circle for a short while but can't remember who he iced.
Sir Chicken Fucker in, ices Dirt Digger and the 2 Thai ladies he's brought along asking him if he knew that they had to go back to school next week, he then joins DD on the ice and has the girls sit in their laps for a photo opportunity (or perhaps it was the SCF grope). He ices Fucking Alice for groping him and giving him a love bite on the neck and also her 2 virgins and accuses FA of having a Toy Boy. He then ices Sheik Me Me : Miserable Cunt and Rear Gunner for being Gay Sailors. (Frigging in the Rigging).
The Hares are called in to sing a song, they have nothing, therefore Bam Bam invites them to sit on the ice and sings what he claims is a German Song to a Scottish tune, but is really about getting BJ's in Pattaya.
With the absence of Seaman Stains, the GM tries to be funny while leading the Hash Hymn, some claim he has succeeded for a change.
See y'all next week.