Hello everybody it’s KT Mae here, I haven’t been on the hash for quite a while now due to my horizontal occupational activities at The Linda Boutique. Anyway it was great to be invited again by that great friend of mine Huge Willy who often comes to our boutique for some of the unusual and bizarre goings on that we provide to all who come to see us, especially Shake It Me Me and his Black Sheep, what a nice herd of guys they are. I took the bus out to the A-site and sat next to 1/4 pound of Foreskin Cheese who kept telling me about his complicated love life on a Welsh Farm many years ago, when men were men and sheep were nervous
What a lovely picturesque A-site near a large lake, I met up with a few old friends like Pasta Head and my good German friend Boy From Hell. Once again I heard that man with no hair talking somewhere near so I moved to keep out of his way, I don’t thinks he likes people like me hash, anyway he was busy with his duties looking after the female hares of the day, Ewok, Tadpole & Olive Oil.
The hares told us about the run and then we were off around the lake, I walked around with Silver haired Chicken Man who was paying rather too much attention to my boobs because they kept bouncing up and down. At one of the checks he told me to follow him into some trees where he offered me a cocktail sausage of rather small proportions, I showed him mine and he ran off shouting on on. I finally found paper again and did the rest of the run with the back walkers Ping Pong and Rub My Dick (nice name I thought). We finally got back to the A- site where lots of the guys started dressing up as women, I was starting to get exited by now.
The circle was called and the hares looking very sexy were congratulated for a good run. The man with no hair had put in a lot of work helping them make sure everything was in hand! Seaman Swallows (so do I) was in next to do the raffle and ice the noisy ones, just because some of the men were wearing skirts didn’t mean they could yak so much. A rather poignant moment then when Seaman Stains walked into the circle with a bunch of flowers for a Swallow. What a nice man who as just finished his rainy season at The Tiffany Show.
Lots more people were placed on the ice by the man with no hair but I decided to go and sit on the bus then in case he wanted to put me on the ice. The bus ride back to Jameson’s was good fun and the food when we got there was excellent, many thanks to Kim and his staff.
See you all again soon hopefully
On On
KT Mae
Note: Redundant Seaman was supposed to scribe but never passed on his scribe in time for the printable hash sheet, so thanks KT.
His scribe has now been received and is added below;
This week was the continuation of Pattaya’s favorite annual fun run, Betty Boop 2009. For those not familiar with our tradition, the Betty Boop run features a chance for all the would- be male Katoeys on the Hash to have a chance to put on their favorite female attire and for some of the beautiful Hash ladies to exercise the opportunity to get masculine by donning their best male duds. As you might guess, there was no small shortage of closet Katoeys attending the run again this year!
Some may wonder what Betty Boop has in common with Pattaya and why do we celebrate her with a run? A quick look back at her origin suggests a few clues to answer this question. As you probably know, Betty Boop was the first cartoon sex symbol. She made her first appearance on August 9, 1930 in a cartoon called “Dizzy Dishes”. Does this name bring to mind any of your favorite Pattaya friends? She actually started off being drawn as more of a sexy poodle and it took more than 2 years for her to really become a full human. Ever start off a Pattaya romance with girl that you thought of in a similar way?? Come on now, be honest with yourself! It is said that she was tailored after Helen Kane a famous singer in the 1920’s and Clara Bow the famous and attractive silent screen star who couldn’t make the transition to talkies because of her obnoxious Brooklyn accent. Some old Pattaya hands may have had similar thoughts when they signaled the most beautiful girl on the dance stage to come and have a drink with them and then listened intently for her first words? Maybe the silent movies weren’t so bad after all, is usually my next thought. In short Betty was supposed to be a sex symbol Flapper girl with more heart than brains. She was almost always drawn in black and white. Perhaps her real origin was Burriram?
Well, let’s get onto the run story. First and most important the run featured our most beautiful Hash ladies as the Hares with technical assistance from Emperor Airhead. Olive Oil dressed as Cinderella in a hot little white wedding-like dress, Ewok with her cute little cheer leader skirt and pony tails and the beautiful Tadpole in a short skirt, sexy black tights and new wave pink hair. What a combination of beauty! The run A site was pleasant and located on the edge of the Lake near Burapha and Laem Chabang golf courses. A flood of happy Pattaya Hashers and closet Katoeys found the A site with little problem. All the “girls” insisted on their pictures being taken as a mob of Katoeys before the run started and the chance of getting new dresses dirty or perhaps the make up running. With such astounding beauty we were lucky none of the camera lenses cracked especially from some of the bigger girls like Flying Fro-gina and the older “experienced” girls like Derillica! Karumba-ina had even pain stakingly selected a dress color to match her hair dye! A few of the more posh girls like GI Joe-jina and Lady Chicken Fucker declined to even be dressed out until that dirty old run was finished. You know how these kinds of girls are.
The hares arranged a beautiful 50 minute run featuring astounding hill side views of the gorgeous lake. Well this is what I was hoping for anyway. To my surprise the run went back in the opposite direction across the fields, however, the hares did a great job to lay a great run that was a combination of quick trail running followed by some nice jaunts through the thick and shady vegetation. Leading the pack the entire way from start to finish was our visitors from Hua Hin Hash, Ballbreaker and Space Cowboy. Ok Ballbreaker, I wrote it. When can I collect the 1000 baht you promised?? Dressed as petite and sexy older Brazilian like girl, Ballbreaker had obviously been out working the night before by the large stash of money dangling freely from his garter belt and a few red herpes looking spots on his lips. On the man side of the run Mrs. Head and the Queen were looking strong, as normal.
Returning to the circle after the run, the weather was starting to look a bit foreboding with thunderous claps in the background. Maybe a wet T-shirt contest would have been a better theme today? On the positive side, the Hares had come through with some great chow to take everyone’s mind off the weather. When I asked who the chef was Ewok told me that she cooked the whole pot of delicious curry herself. I told her “Ewok, I didn’t know you liked to cook”? She answered back “yes I’m happy to cook like this once each year, but of course you know that the once each year includes the cooking for the family too”. Well, I guess when you look like Ewok, you don’t really need to be a good cook! Back on the weather, not to sound negative, I’ll just say that it was not long before buckets and buckets of “sunshine” were upon us. All the ‘girls’ ran to get their umbrellas to keep their delicate skin from being affected by the weather.
However, not to let a little weather get in the way it was not long before Emperor Airhead and the GM Free Willie were calling us all together for a circle.
After a well deserved thrashing of the Hares in the circle, an “excellent run” verdict was unanimous and the hares breathed a sigh of relief. Main event for today’s circle, of course, was the Hash version of the Miss Tiffany universe pageant to select the most beautiful “girl”. Host Emperor Airhead marched the bevy of beauties around the circle and after a series of applause votes from the audience narrowed the contenders down to Tony, Hell Boy, Harry Potter and the “Man with Fake Tits”. Although it was noted that Porn Star did seem to be just unusually happy and comfortable in his skin tight dress, he did not make the finals. After his thoughtful answer to recent Miss USA pageant question, “do you think marriage must be between a man a women?”, Tony was pronounced our proud winner! And his runner up was “Man with fake tits”, each taking home some gift certificates for delicious meals at local establishments. On the “real ladies” side of the contest, the winner was our beautiful Hare Olive Oil and runner up in sexy nurse outfit, PPD. Great job Ladies!
Amazing Hash participation award for 900 runs was awarded to Sir Chicken Fucker. Getting funnier and funnier each year with his dry Dudley Moore style sense of humor in the circle, he is a great supporter of the Pattaya Hash and famous in the Hash community. Also long term hash members gaining recognition today were Karumba and Chicken Legs for 200 runs and Empty Sperm Bank for 100 runs. Great job guys!
Since the rest of my run notes are a sloppy blurr of blue color from the buckets of “sunshine”, I’ll close by confirming a great time was had by all and leave you with a piece of pith from BB’s song. Something for all New Zealand hashers to think about, “ If you have a very small we-we, you could grow up to be a KIWI”. Look forward to another great Betty Boop next year!!
On On,
Redundant Seaman