Total Hashers This Week - 69

Click On Name To View Hasher's Run History

Correcting Run Records Policy

To encourage hashers, and hash virgins, to take responsibility for ensuring they have received proper run credit, the deadline for reporting missed runs will be Thursday evening following a run. As run stats are posted to the website by noon of the Tuesday following the run, hashers will have 2 1/2 days to review the run stats to confirm they've received credit for the run just held.

The reason for the Thursday deadline is we close out the run accounts and run records for a run on Friday mornings. Corrections entered before Friday help ensure we have an accurate accounting of the run.

It is hoped with this policy in place the number of hashers that pay the signup fee and walk away before having their name marked off on the signup list will be reduced. This will also eliminate the cases where a hasher comes to us weeks, months, or even years later asking to correct a missed run in the records.

The one exception to this policy will be those with duplicate run records can approach us when they're close to achieving a run award. At that time we will merge the records so the run award reflects all their runs with the PH3.

Missed runs can be reported via email to the Webmaster.

Click On Name To View Hasher's Run History History

NOTE: Scribe Reports are written for your entertainment and are a work of fiction.
Any resemblance to actual people and events is purely coincidental.

Scribe Report by Cabbage Head

The bus was already in by the time I arrived at the pleasant and spacious A-site and most hashers had already signed up. The circle was called nice and early and our GM announced someone would need to take over hash rags within 2 weeks or the facility would be withdrawn. It looks like the same old faces are running the show and it is time for some other full time hashers (there are plenty of you out there) to step up and get involved if you all want this well oiled machine to keep turning. New shoes called in and I was wondering which mug would be sipping the brew as my wife Sausage Queen stepped in wearing the trainers she bought over a month ago. Nothing like a refreshing Chang before starting the run.
The hares Fucking Dog & Stinky Sloppy Seconds on in to explain the usual format run and everyone trundled off over the undulating terrain.  The trail was well marked and we reached the first check within a few minutes. Sheik Meme found the correct trail to the right and the next check came soon after. I got it right this time heading left then right through the trees. I ran straight over the next check and found paper quickly but the next one took a bit more solving. I went straight again and GI Joe found the false trail to the left. Finally Cabbage Knievel found paper to the right and a lot of the pack was back together by then. We were steady away through the open fields when Mudcracker flew past like a gazelle on steroids and led the way. After a short loop crossing the road we headed through the more dense vegetation back to the A-site just over 30 minutes after we left. The Speedy Norwegians Mudcracker & Smelly Bastard decided the run was too short and proceeded on a second lap. The more sensible among us took the time to relax and refresh ourselves as the dark clouds loomed on the horizon. It was not long before the umbrellas and raincoats came out with people running for cover in their cars, on the bus or under the beer truck. 
As the storm passed the circle was called by Seaman Stains our new intrepid leader and the hares were invited in to bare their buttocks on the blocks. A mixed response from the crowd with many complaining the run was too short. Just like I mentioned at the beginning of this report, many hashers should not complain unless they step up and hare a run themselves. 
Raffle next with Seaman Swallow, the noisy ones Sheik Meme & MC on in as the prizes were won. The Emperor was next to deal with the Hares. A good run was declared with special note for the signs being to the correct standards, the final one to the A-site needing a truck, a police escort and a large crane to be erected. General Kidney Wiper was presented with a tin of Haggis which I believe is now on the endangered species list. Derelick was then manhandled into the bucket by Hellboy after playing the old sweat routine with our only Hasher with over a thousand runs. Not a wise move. Our GM back in to explain a new format for anniversaries due to expense and some of the more senior Hashers running out of storage space for all of their mugs. SCF presented this week’s awards including 50 runs mug to Sheik Meme, 100 runs framed award to Empty Spermbank, 200 runs mug for Karamba, 300 runs plate for Bow Wow and finally 450 runs plate for our GM Seaman Stains. Hellboy was acknowledged on his 10 hares and presented with his own cowboy hat. The Returnees in for a drink next, T4, Mudcracker & Cabbage Head, followed by the visitors Pickled Cabbage (a true relation) from Scarborough Happy Hash and Cabbage Patch (a distant cousin maybe?) from Puerto Galera Hash. Fini the Faggot was the only leaver claiming to be heading back to Belgium for a stretch in jail. Karamba sat as last week’s temporary name change Princess Swallow was given a permanent change to Seamans Princess. Acknowledgements for hard work from Bottomless Pit for his work as hash piss, GI Joe & Squeeze My Tube for organizing transport every week and Chicken Legs for her catering facility.
Sheik Meme was the next RA and punished the hares after being disappointed with the length of the run. Fini the Faggot, Free Willy & Hellboy all enjoyed a spell on the Ice with Fini getting promoted to the bucket. The pink shirt wearing Cabbage Knievel, Cabbage Flaps & Pickled Cabbage on in to pay homage to the Scarborough Happy HHH (SH4). A collection of Olive coloured shirt wearers Cunt’s Kid, Menstrual Boy, Johnny the Eagle & James Easingwood who are all professional divers were asked why they were first on the bus when the heavens opened. These guys were also wearing matching shirts on the run (Promoting their dive centre perhaps?). 
SCF took charge of proceedings next bringing Cunt’s Kid & Menstrual Boy back in for having a famous father Doctor Thrush (formally BHC). Fat Fuck and his father Esko Rautel were joined by Sir Spag, the 2 older chaps both sporting combovers. The Hares showed us their rings while SCF sang a song about dogs then GI Joe led us into the Hash Hymn before the bus left for the Boomerang Bar for further refreshment.

ON-ON
Cabbage Head.